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    • CommentAuthorLccorp2
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2009

    Post your attempts at good bad writing here. Enjoy, if you can. =P

    How hard can it be to write a good bad story?

    Answer: Very hard.


    Long ago in Algaesa the people were happy and there was peas and good and the peoples were rich. Humuns and dwerfs an elfs lives in goodwheel and hormony and it was good and happy and noone was slave or poor because elfs were smrt and batter than all teh peoples and made laws for everone so it was fair.

    But then one day Dark Lord came out of the evil place and noone knew why Dark Lord came. Dark Lord made dwerfs tricked because Dark Lord knew dwerfs were stupid since they believed in stoning griddle god which did not exist only he did sometimes, which make the elfs relly mad. And so dwerfs and elfs did not like each other an they sometimes fought and egged each others backyards and made each other squish and squash with lots of blud. Humuns tried to make peas but peas did not grow since elfs were too angry and dwerfs too stupid and eggnorant with their stuped belive in stoning griddle and some dwerfs attacked humens by acident so humuns fite too.

    Then when humens dwerfs and elfs were fiting the Dark Lord came on the battlefield with his army of dark urks which are like orcs only not really orcs because they are different and really really dark trust me they are not orcs becos Token owns orcs and I dont so there. So Dark Lord looked at every with his faiery gaze and said with smile on face “ha ha I has tricked you all foolish peoples of Algaesa now you will bow to me the Dark Lord!”

    The peoples now knows they been tricked and said “no we will never be under you Dark Lord!” So the humuns dwerfs an elfs fot the Dark Lord’s dark urks but the urks were too strong and powerful and it was easy fite for them. And it was even wors bcaus Dark Lord rose up like bird and started flying in the skye and went pewpew with majeek lasers from his eyes and burned peoples and made them cry. At the end of day all elfs has dead and the leftovers humens and dwerfs seen dark and scarry sky with smoke and the dark urks stretching in the horizontal and knew they had been tricked by Dark Lord and lost all hop. They knows they shuld have listen to elfs when they said smrt things but now is too late and it is sad.

    So Dark Lord is now ruler of all expense of Algaesa and he made people slave and fite in his army which he use to rule with iron fist and sometimes hitting people with it too. Slave were made to do back-brakeing labber and work in mine while pheasants had many taxes which they could not pay. People were sad and mad and angry at Dark Lord and urks and army because they took taxes and sometimes drink too much in bars and make offensive remarks to women but they didnt do nothing because they were scarred of Dark Lord and his long iron fist of steel.

    But leetle does people Algaesa knows that there is property about Chosen One who will one day fite Dark Lord and make peas in land once more. His name is Ergot and he lives farm with his uncle and ant because he didnt know who parents were. One day urks came to farm and all of them know bad things is going to huppen.

    What huppens next? U decede!



    One day Ergot was working on his ants farm when there was loud nose. He turns and seed many urks coming down street which was long and cold and long too. They were like pigs but also with fur and horns and long tail and when they passed people looked at them with angry and sad but not too close because they did not want urks to see them.

    Cosine Boran (who is like person named Borat in move who does things and make people laugh and happy) was working on ants farm too and when urks passed Ergot said to his cosine “why are urks here”

    Cosine Boran put a carrot on head because it was funneh, and said back “i dont know, letus ask my dad.” So they dropped their hoes down on the ground where they landed with thump. They looked round but could not find uncle Garrotte so they went to look for their hoes but hoes were missing.

    “Oh noes where are our hoes” Ergot said.

    “My hoe is gone too, it was beautiful hoe ho ho ho,” Cosine Boran said again, and laughed because he thought it was funny but really it wasnt because Ergot for really mad and hit him on back of head like they do sometimes in anime. “Just kidding lol.”

    “Are you loking for hoes?” the urks said with evil smiles on faces. “We has hoes here.” And they hold up Cosine Boran and Ergot hoes which were big and black and firm and purrfect for doing much hoeing.

    “Give us back hoes evil urks!” Ergot shouted with hands in aire. “Are needing hoes to do much ploughing and sowing of melons and cockonuts and carrots!” But evil urks did not give hoes back and instead put their hands on the hoes in the wrong places and laughed. Ergot knew if they did not get hoes back they could not get monies and food to eat for winter and pay taxes and hoes would be gone forrest of time. Evil urks and dark lord made him really made and his hands shock in rag. “YOU WILL NOT SIMILE AT ME!” Ergot shotted at urks.

    “We will be taking hoes to dark lord because you has not payed tax” the urks said and began to walk really fast away. “Dark Lord will be happy to have hoes and will put them to good use.”

    Cosine Boran was not funny or lauging any more. “What will we do Ergot.” he said “We cannot life with no hoes and uncle and ant will be really sad and i do not want them sad because they are beautiful soul.”

    But Ergot was not listing. His eyes were growing small and he was seeing vision totally rad. Before urks could get away he ran up to urks and punched them through head and heart and brains too. Urks were scare and drooped Ergot and Cosine hoes and ran away but Ergot did spanning kick and punch and urks flew far away too.

    “You will regret crossing Dark Lord today!” the few leftovers urks scream at Ergot and Cosine Boran. But Ergot didnt care and picked up hoes and dusted them too to make sure they were all right. He was pantsing and looking down with tongue out and Cosine came up to him and said “Ergot we shud be going home.” And Ergot said “ok.”

    But something bad was happening. Dark clod came out of sky and shot magic laser at Ergot ant farm and ant farm went kablooie really loud with wood and bricks falling out of sky. Ergot shieded eyes from blast and when he looked up there was eye in the sky with smoke and fire around it.

    “You will not cross me and not pay.” Dark Lord said. “Pople who cross me will pay toll…DEATH TOLL! Ha ha” Dark Lord said at them again and smiles, only he cannot smiles because he is an I and has no mouth. The people around Ergot and Cosine were scarred and ran away from Dark Lord but Ergot waved hoe at Dark Lord.

    “I will send you back to MAGIC and EVIL PLACE!” Ergot yelled at Dark Lord while moving his hoe real fast at Dark Lord eye. The hoe passed through Dark Lord and Dark Lord laughed again.

    “We shall see who wins the gam,” Dark Lord said and was gone too. Ergot looked down at what left of ant farm and cry fell out of his eye like diamonds.

    “What will you do” Cosine Garrot said.

    “I WILL HAVE REVENGE AND MAKE UNCLE GARROTE PEAS SOUL!” Ergot shouted real loud and thunder and litning struck ground near him and wolfs howled too in distance.



    Eragon: Ailen Attacker.

    (disclamer: i dont own Eragon or Zenomorfs or other things in the story just the idea)


    Chapter 1 Finding the egg

    One day in Alagasha Eragon was in the forest and hunting a deer. he saw the deer and there it was so he shoot it with his bow. But then deer got disipaerd and there was egg where it was! Eraggon whent to were deer had been standing and looked at the egg. Thegg was burning and smocking but then it stopped. eragon gote his arow and touched egg with it. Egg started moving so Eragon was vary suprised He looked at the egg wich had stopped moving but now there was something else. Eragon whent to were the egg was and poked it agan with arow and then te egg oppened up. Eragon was suprised wen it oppened but he looked in and then ALLEN JUMPED AND ON ERAGONS FACE!

    Chapter 2 Alilens are there

    So now aragon was slleping with allien on his face and not moving. brom find him and take hom to Horst who knew to heel Eragons body from ailine. Eragonn was in Horsts house on a bed and horst was going to help him BUT! eragon got up and said with ailien on face “i am going to kill you and you will be ailien monster!” Horst sad “NO” and Brom got his sword and hit ailn with the sord but then acid blood whent and splattered and made swords melt. brom was agnry and tryed to use magik on face aline but alen tryed to chocke Eragon with alienn tail. so Brom coldn’t do it. Erigon whent over to were Horst was and then he ate horst with his face aline.

    Chapter 3 arya Saves the day

    Ergon was full now so he whent to go in the Spine. but he got hugnry agan so he went back out down the mountan to Carvall. he was going to eat everyon there but then Arya came on Sphira and said to eragon “USE YUOR MAGIC” so eragon tryed to get ailen off face with majic and it worked so he wasnt controled by alln enymor. Alieln curled up and dyed and Eragon was better. “that wasnt dragon egg” he said. “You wher controled by alin zenomorfs but now your beter.” arya was saying. “yes but that ailein made me eat Horst so that is sad”. so they beryed alen body as funerfal for Horst so he would be at pese.

    Chapter 4 epiloge

    After funeral they whent to the cassle were Galbatrox was to fight him. they siegd the cassle for a long time but then Galabtox came out on draw bridge He sad “NOW I HAVE BETER SOLDERS THEN URGALS LOOK I HAVE ZENOMORFS” and alnes were coming out of cassle wals!



    Authers notes: I didnt really see aline movie because after alien goe on the guys face it was too scary so i whent away. but it was cool so i put it in the story anway. Thanks for reading plese review!