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    •  
      CommentAuthorElanor
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    Rape.

    huddles in the corner and keens

    •  
      CommentAuthorJeni
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    oh god.

    ._.

  1.  

    When will this madness end?

  2.  

    huhwathuh?

    I…I don’t understand…

  3.  

    This thing is the new cover for Wuthering Heights?!

    grabs copy of The Host, beats self with it

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    What…

    The…

    takes a deap breath; counts to ten

    Firstly, Wuthering Heights isn’t a romance, it’s a tragedy. It’s not very romantic in any sense, Heathcliff was a manipulative, obsessive, jealous little twat, and Catherine was a spineless self-obsessed romantic with no notion of politics or self-preservation—

    Oh, wait.

  4.  

    Wha— I — Bu — WHY?!

    I think it’s funny that Meyer has Wuthering Heights as Bella’s favorite book. The resemblances between it and Twilight are… quite apparent. ;)

    •  
      CommentAuthorDiamonte
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009 edited
     

    I always thought that the Twilight covers were pretty, but knowing what they are… this is like rape for my eyes. They were pretty covers for teen books, not for timeless classics.

    Oh the pain. I want to die.

    •  
      CommentAuthorJeni
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    The ribbon thing that says “Bella and Edward’s favourite book!” tears me up inside.

    •  
      CommentAuthorKyllorac
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    I’ve known about this for a while, but it still elicits a gag reflex. The cover is eye-catching, but the “Bella and Edward’s favourite book!” plug just rankles. T_T They’ve taken a perfectly good book and turned it into a Twihore.

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    That was my reaction when I found it in Waterstones yesterday.

    •  
      CommentAuthorDiamonte
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     
    *blink blink* I did not see that "favorite book" line. I'm not sure how I missed a giant sticker like that, but I did.

    I retract my statement.
    • CommentAuthorliadan14
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    I hesitate to say it, but there’s some Jane Austen out there with a similar cover and a sticker that reads, “Before Bella and Edward”.

  5.  

    Oh dear Lord.

    I’ve never read this book. I probably should.

    . The only good that can come of this is that it gets teenage girls to read a classic. But marketing it like a Twilight novel? Dear Lord, NO!

    • CommentAuthorliadan14
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     
    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    kills self

    I… I can’t bear to look. Twilight is desecrating a piece of great literature! It is digging its body up and… and… humping it! And…

    There are no words. Only tears. I can’t even be glad that some more people might read Wuthering Heights now. It’s just…

    I don’t even know if I could read WH now. sobs

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    Bronte, Austen and Shakespeare are turning over in their graves.

  6.  

    Bella and Edward’s favourite book!

    Twilight never mentioned it was Edward’s favorite book! Liars. And yes, they are turning. Moaning piteously…

    • CommentAuthorSlyShy
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    This has gone too far. Seriously? ._.

    •  
      CommentAuthorElanor
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    I hesitate to say it, but there’s some Jane Austen out there with a similar cover and a sticker that reads, “Before Bella and Edward”.

    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

    cries

    And yeah. Wuthering Heights isn’t so much a romance as a kind of horror story that shows just how ridiculous general notions of steretypical passionate love are when they’re followed to the letter and then let loose.

    But…but…they raped Pride and Prejudice too? D:

    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

    There are no words. Only tears. I can’t even be glad that some more people might read Wuthering Heights now. It’s just…

    There are probably more people who will avoid Wuthering Heights now because of that sticker. And the Twihards who do read it will probably interpret it all as ONE BIG ROMANCE and, frankly, Heathcliff’s even more of a psychopath than Edward, from what I remember.

    • CommentAuthorliadan14
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    Yeah, my reaction exactly.

    HarperCollins fail

    • CommentAuthorSlyShy
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    Some of my Facebook “friends” are pretty faileriffic.

    “I admit, I would actually consider reading Wuthering Heights because of its new cover. It changes my mindset from boring classic to a new, exciting book.”

  7.  

    “I admit, I would actually consider reading Wuthering Heights because of its new cover. It changes my mindset from boring classic to a new, exciting book.”

    You must hit this person.

    Hard.

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    May I help? I have a baseball bat…

    Thumps the end of the bat in her hand menacingly

    And Wuthering Heights is supposed to be about what happens when love and psychopaths meet! It isn’t romantic! Hareton and Cathy (jr.) are much better than Cathy and Heathcliff. And god, Linton…

    • CommentAuthorSlyShy
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    You must hit this person.

    Hard.

    I gave her a verbal smack down. Is that sufficient?

  8.  

    I gave her a verbal smack down. Is that sufficient?

    As long as she felt it, I suppose.

    • CommentAuthorSlyShy
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    I’m mean when I need to be. :P

    • CommentAuthorliadan14
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    I will admit that I shamelessly used Twilight as an excuse to get my friends to read Pride and Prejudice, Romeo and Juliet, and the Brontes.

    It worked surprisingly well, although their opinions are little more than undiluted squeefests.

    Sadly, they went on to read Gone With The Wind.

  9.  

    Bronte, Austen and Shakespeare are turning over in their graves.

    Actually… I must kind of disagree here. Well maybe not Austen, but Shakespeare was definitely an “artistic whore” (or one might say a sell out).

    The way a lot of classic artists were, I doubt they’d be that upset over “raping” their art and just thrilled that more people are buying it and putting more money in their pocket.

    •  
      CommentAuthorJeni
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    putting more money in their pocket.

    Mmmmm, spiritual money for spiritual alcohol.

  10.  
    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    ‘Cause it’s not enough that 90% of new YA books are trying to trick Twifans into buying them with Twilight-esqe covers (seriously, just check at your local book store’s YA section), now we need to do the same with classic literature. I weep for humanity. Sweet Cthulhu, just come for me now…

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    By which you presumably mean “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!”.

    •  
      CommentAuthorArtimaeus
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    I’m sorry, but that cover doesn’t work for P&P. The book is not a gothic romance (though neither is Twilight, really…)

    But regarding WH, I think it loses a lot of their original meaning by being compared to such a shamelessly escapist book series. I’ve never read Wuthering Heights, but as I understand it, the romance between Cathy and Heathcliffis intended to be tragic and unhealthy, not ideal, as with Bella and Edward. Printing pithy, romantic thing (like “love never dies”) on the cover completely contradicts the message of the book.

    •  
      CommentAuthorJeni
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    I gave her a verbal smack down. Is that sufficient?

    /disagrees.

    :P

    What? She was only talking about the cover catching her eye. That’s not exactly blasphemy.

    Unless she’s a Twifan, in which case, she kinda fails.

  11.  

    Yup, I knew it. Jane Austen

    sobs uncontrollably

    Who’s the next victim? What decent female authoress are they planning to butcher next? Rowling?

  12.  

    They’d turn Hermione into a bland God Mode Sue obsessed with “equal rights” yet forgets about all of it when Ron comes into her life. “Because Love is Eternal” it would proclaim on the cover, where it shows the shadow of a girl reading a book that has a single red rose on it.

    I have no life.

  13.  

    Does anyone else think it’ll be funny when a Twilight fan sees P+P, thinks ‘Ooh, Twilight’, picks it up, and then has absolutely no idea what they’re reading?

    Seriously, the two couldn’t be more different, other than the fact that there’s some love bandied about.

    At least for WH the cover is somewhat appropriate, though I would substitute ‘Obsession Never Dies’ rather than ‘Love Never Dies’. Though I guess people would eat that up too. And I’d totally take out ANY MENTION OF TWILIGHT.

    •  
      CommentAuthorArtimaeus
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    Wait, does it say “Bella Cullen’s favorite book” in that little badge thing on the WH cover?

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    Yes, I believe it does…

    Starts hunting for the person who suggested that, and the person who approved it

    •  
      CommentAuthorArtimaeus
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009 edited
     
    *epic sigh*
  14.  

    How is this bad?

    On one level I object to it, but on another level, they’re getting young people to read. I’m pretty sure people on this very site have complimented Twilight in that, if nothing else, it provides a gateway for young girls into the reading world.

    So again, how is this bad? It’s going to get more readership for classics and renew interests in reading.

    And it’s just a cover.

    And it’s not the only cover.

    You don’t have to buy this version of it.

    Seriously, how is this bad?

    •  
      CommentAuthorAdamPottle
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     
    Bella is not real.

    Just assuring myself of this here. Apparently she can be quoted though.
    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009 edited
     

    It is bad because…

    a) It appears to imply Bella Swan’s recommendation elevates a book
    b) It suggests as romantic a book which represents a twisted, sick, and altogether unhealthy “love” (Hey, just like Twilight!)
    c) The twits who get into these books because of Bella’s opinion will most likely not understand the books at all, but will probably write horrible fanfiction nontheless.

  15.  

    I’m mainly objecting to the whole ‘Bella and Edward’s favorite book!’ thing. Especially for P+P. It’s grossly unsuited.

  16.  

    1) No, it’s a marekting tool. It gives it a connection to Twilight, sparking interest in its fans.
    2) The sticker is pretty stupid, I’ll grant that.
    3) I haven’t read Wuthering Heights though I’ll be studying it soon, so I don’t know how difficult it may be to understand the books. In any case, you’re saying that anyone who likes Twilight is an idiot (not true, I know some otherwise very clever girls who are in love with Edward, but their IQ does tend to drop a fair bit when Twilight comes up). Not everyone will get it, but it’s still a stepping stone. There is horrible fanfiction for everything but that’s so ignorable it doesn’t matter.

  17.  

    It’s just such an offensively ham-fisted way to advertise.

    HAY YALL BE LIEK UR FAVE FIKSHUNAL CARACTARS AND REED DIS HEER BUK”

    •  
      CommentAuthorElanor
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    Damn sticker.

    The covers are pretty, they are.

    But the sticker.

    headdesk

  18.  

    I liked the covers, actually. At least for Wuthering Heights, because it worked. P+P does not go with black and goth-y.

    Yes, I’m a big advocate of covers being somewhat related to the book it’s covering!

  19.  

    My sister is beating her head against my knee, moaning, “They turned Romeo’s super sexy emo-ness into Twilight crap! Lord, I’m coming now!”

    I gave her a verbal smack down. Is that sufficient?

    Do you have transcripts? I need a laugh right now. My head hurts. So does my knee.

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    Romeo is SEXY? WHAT??? He was annoying as hell! Romeo and Juliet is NOT a good example of love, it’s teenage lust gone wrong!

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

  20.  

    We saw her crush play Romeo. She’s a bit biased.

  21.  

    Romeo is SEXY? WHAT??? He was annoying as hell! Romeo and Juliet is NOT a good example of love, it’s teenage lust gone wrong!

    I had to lawl pretty hard when some girl I was arguing with claimed Twilight was like a “modern day R&J.” I agreed completely, but I don’t think she really understood R&J in the first place.

  22.  

    Raise your virtual hand if you think Twilight would have been better if Edward and Bella died at the end! raises both hands

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009
     

    Raises both hands and both feet

    •  
      CommentAuthorDiamonte
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2009 edited
     

    raises both hands

    I could have settled for just one of them dying. That would have been awesome.

  23.  

    It would’ve been even better if they would’ve died at the beginning IMO.

    •  
      CommentAuthorElanor
    • CommentTimeAug 26th 2009
     

    XD

    raises both hands

    I rather get the feeling that that’s what SMeyer had intended originally, what with the constant R&J and Wuthering Heights references. But then the fandom got waaaaaay out of hand…and Breaking Dawn emerged instead.

  24.  

    I wonder if Edward and Bella were supposed to die at the end of Breaking Dawn, after defeating the Volturi. Because everything in the book leads up to that (the whole thing with Alice was so that Renesme could go somewhere if Edward and Bella died), and then they just walk away without a fight.

    •  
      CommentAuthorElanor
    • CommentTimeAug 26th 2009
     

    I wish they’d died before the disaster that was Breaking Dawn, frankly.

    Mebbe when Bella couldn’t decide between Edward and Jacob and they fought over her and killed each other and she committed suicide or something like that.

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeAug 26th 2009
     

    Eh. That gives her way too much credit.

    • CommentAuthorliadan14
    • CommentTimeAug 26th 2009
     

    To be fair, though, it always bugs me on other book covers when there are dumb blurbs like, “If you liked Harry Potter, you’ll love this!” etc. because I’m a big believer in individuality in books (which may be why I hate Eragon, but anyway…), inasmuch as it’s possible. I guess I could live with it if it was a “classics” edition of Twilight, because Twilight references the classics. But if I were ever to come across someone describing Darcy and Elizabeth as the historical Bella and Edward….I won’t be responsible for my actions.

    Also, right now I’m thinking of this sketch in terms of killing characters off. “Whoops. Hamlet falls off the battlements.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorJeni
    • CommentTimeAug 26th 2009
     

    it always bugs me on other book covers when there are dumb blurbs like, “If you liked Harry Potter, you’ll love this!” etc. because I’m a big believer in individuality in books

    Likewise, books should be judged on their own merit, not because they sit next to a bestseller on the shelf.

    So again, how is this bad? It’s going to get more readership for classics and renew interests in reading.

    Hrm, because, it almost seems to be equating Twilight on a level as the Great Classics. Yeah, it’s just marketing, but it’s going to be how the Twifans see it.

  25.  

    On the subject of Twilight considered a classic…

    It now has a Shmoop page. Yes, a Shmoop page. Shmoop is the funny alternative to Sparknotes, and while I love Shmoop, the fact that people need it to understand the book is… hilariously ridiculous, actually. And their breakdown of Edward is funny.

  26.  

    That’s actually pretty accurate, especially when they ask why Bella isn’t bothered by Edward’s stalking. However, they don’t point out exactly how ‘unperfect’ Edward really is. They’re just taking things at face value in that respect.

  27.  

    wimpers

    Personally, anything black with a giant flower on the cover gets me. But PRIDE AND PREJUDICE?? JUST. NO. And they make William Shakespeare look like he writes girls’ books.

    •  
      CommentAuthorArtimaeus
    • CommentTimeAug 30th 2009
     

    Ah, I remember when I first realized that Shakespeare was a pervert. It made his plays a lot more interesting.

    •  
      CommentAuthorKyllorac
    • CommentTimeAug 30th 2009
     

    I tried paraphrasing Romeo and Juliet into everyday English once. I barely survived Act 1 Scene 1. So. Much. Innuendo. x_@

  28.  

    XD

    I know. When we read it last year, my teacher asked if we wanted to actually discuss the innuendo and stuff, or just gloss it over. Of course, everyone said yes (to discussing the innuendo).

  29.  

    Ha ha, I remember watching Hamlet and realizing what he meant by “between your legs.”

  30.  

    My teacher pointed out at least 80% of the dick jokes unprompted when we read Hamlet in class. Hilarity ensued.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 30th 2009
     

    Hahaha, the scene where Juliet’s nurse is being rather, um, inappropriate was the part where most of the class suddenly realized classics might be interesting after all…

    It’s funny- my family is fairly religious, so I’ve basically grown up reading the King James Version of the Bible. So we’d be reading something in Shakespeare, and I’d be in the back of the room dying with laughter while the teacher tried to explain Ye Olde Englishe so the rest of the class would get the jokes.

  31.  

    Ah, I remember when I first realized that Shakespeare was ancient people were perverts.

    Fixed.

    Let’s be honest, today’s fretting over sex and violence in entertainment is nothing compared to older times.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    What’s the one Greek play where the women withhold sex from their husbands because they don’t want them to go to war? That was one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. Totally didn’t expect it to be so… explicit when I started!

    •  
      CommentAuthorElanor
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    Lysistrata, I think?

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    Probably. By… Aristophanes, I believe.

  32.  

    Let’s not forget that, with all the pervyness in shakespeare, women never entered British theatre until the 18th century.

  33.  

    In the prologue to The Taming of the Shrew, Shakespeare played around with that by having a scene where a boy servant dresses as a woman as a practical joke. So, it was a guy who usually played a girl pretending to be a guy pretending to be a girl.

  34.  

    So, it was a guy who usually played a girl pretending to be a guy pretending to be a girl.

    “I’m a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude!”

  35.  

    Nope, dud playing a dude playing a chick.

  36.  

    Nope, dud playing a dude playing a chick.

    GET MY REFERENCES PLEASE

  37.  

    GET MY REFERENCES PLEASE

    I did.

    I laughed.

    Hard.

  38.  

    Thank you sir. QT, NW just one-upped you.

  39.  

    Should we be appalled, or approving of this latest move?

    Apalled, I think.

    I always thought that the Twilight covers were pretty, but knowing what they are… this is like rape for my eyes. They were pretty covers for teen books, not for timeless classics.

    I agree. I don’t even like when they put the movie actors on book covers. This makes it seem like these books would be nothing without Twilight. I’ve never read Wuthering Heights, though, so I have no idea what the original cover looked like. I always prefer original covers.

    I tried paraphrasing Romeo and Juliet into everyday English once. I barely survived Act 1 Scene 1. So. Much. Innuendo. x_@

    Our teacher explained everything in that play. Then we watched the movie (the old one, not the one with DeCaprio). And they show Romeo’s butt for like ten minutes, and people kept making comments about how long that part would last, and she said, “But it’s a cute little butt.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    Eww, no, it’s not.

  40.  

    Like I said, they really make you pay for the brief glimpse of illegal Juliet tits.

  41.  

    ^^And I think that movie is rated PG. And the teacher told us that would happen, but she said that is was mostly her hair. I think didn’t want people to overreact or something.

    It was weird though. It was like the filmmakers said, “Okay, that’s enough talking. Let’s all stare at Romeo’s ass!”

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    ...
    I can’t think of anything to say to that that shouldn’t belong in the Perv thread…

  42.  

    ^^Okay, sorry. No more talking about Rome and Juliet...

    Unless it’s about the new Twilightified cover. gags

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009 edited
     

    Leonardo DiCaprio’s Romeo makes we want Romeo a la julienne.

    That is, sliced into thousands of long, thin strips. And then blanched in rapidly boiling water.

    Not to eat, though. That stuff would probably be toxic. feed it to Paolini instead

    edit: oops, I didn’t see Platypus’s post above me. Sorry.

    About the Twilightificated cover: I don’t think flowers are the best representative image for R&J. Wine, perhaps, in ample quantities, but not flowers.

  43.  

    ^^Save some for Smeyer. She likes smoldering, pretty people.

    I’ve never seen the Leo version. I watched a portion once. They were in a pool. It looked stupid, so I changed the channel.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009 edited
     

    Oh, the Leonardo one was full of fail. Instead of swords, they had guns, and everyone wore open Hawaiian shirts except the heads of the family (and of course the females).

    a black Mercutio in drag was the only good part of the whole thing.

  44.  

    everyone wore open Hawaiian shirts except the heads of the family (and of course the females).

    v v I had to type this. Read at your risk (it’s not that big of a risk, but it pertains to an earlier conversation about the other movie).

    a black Mercutio in drag was the only good part of the whole thing.

    Lol.

  45.  

    That was pretty funny.

    Oh, and the death scene was beyond pathetic. And not in a good way.

    Ok, done with R+J now.

  46.  

    one thing is for certain, though. the guy who did twifail covers is now earning himself a very nice buck

  47.  

    I thought this was hilarious (and by “hilarious” I mean “tragic”):

    Giving it just one star, Hayley Mears wrote that “I was really disappointed when reading this book, it’s made to believe to be one of the greatest love stories ever told and I found only five pages out of the whole book about there love and the rest filled with bitterness and pain and other peoples stories”. Another reviewer wondered if the book was “in old english or mordern understandable english?” “if so i want it but it sounds like it’s just the original version with a different cover,” she wrote.

    Oh Lordy LOU!

  48.  

    I thought this was hilarious (and by “hilarious” I mean “tragic”):

    Giving it just one star, Hayley Mears wrote that “I was really disappointed when reading this book, it’s made to believe to be one of the greatest love stories ever told and I found only five pages out of the whole book about there love and the rest filled with bitterness and pain and other peoples stories”. Another reviewer wondered if the book was “in old english or mordern understandable english?” “if so i want it but it sounds like it’s just the original version with a different cover,” she wrote.

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeSep 10th 2009
     

    Why the double post?

  49.  

    She thought that she was editing the first post?

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeSep 10th 2009
     

    Or thought it hadn’t posted.