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Oh, dear God, WHY?!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCXiczrRUSg
Ah. I see you’ve found more of the Jonas Brothers.
You know, I don’t even know what do say. I’ve been desensitized. I’m sorry for you pain.
Disney has fallen rather far, hasn’t it?
I’ve seen their version of Hello Goodbye. It made me want to weep.
Such whiny voices…
I don’t want to watch the video. Those guys are the damn city council of the Uncanny Valley. I’m not certain they have souls.
No, they probably don’t. They sold them to the Disney machine thingy.
Sniffles I miss my Disney! The one with the 2D drawings, and the pretty princesses, and the family friendly action/romance.
Any else ever see those old disney live action movies? Kidnapped, Swiss Family Robinson…. they were so good.... even Pirates of the Caribbean showed promise, at least the first one was hysterical…
And now we have fifty sequels per movie, all of which suck, and, and…. the crappy 3D, and the lameness, and the fart jokes….
Dammit, Disney!
No, they probably don’t. They sold them to the Disney machine thingy.
No, I don’t mean like that. I mean, I’m not sure they’re really human. I think they’re some sort of artificial life form that isn’t quite right. They give me the heebie-jeebies.
Sniffles I miss my Disney! The one with the 2D drawings, and the pretty princesses, and the family friendly action/romance.
I miss my 90s Disney movies. I hope I’m not alone.
You aren’t. Lion King, Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Hunchback of Notre Dame….
Laments
You forgot Aladdin, Pocohontas…
weeps
I grew up with those movies!
Oh, and for any JoBros haters, check out the related South Park episode. It’s HILARIOUS!!!
No, I don’t mean like that. I mean, I’m not sure they’re really human. I think they’re some sort of artificial life form that isn’t quite right. They give me the heebie-jeebies.
Oh! Aladdin and Pocahontas too….
DAMMIT Disney! Stop ruining our childhoods! Go back to basics! Stop reinventing! Do 2D fairy tales! You haven’t done Rumpelstiltskin yet, or The Snow Queen, or Rapunzel! There’s three good ones there, two of which could be SPECTACULAR (Rumpelstiltskin would be a horrid name for a movie).
Well, they are doing Princess And The Frog. Also, Pixar’s still making some good films.
Pocohontas
Hunchback of Notre Dame
My two favorite Disney movies ever. Although they are planning a new movie in the style of the old ones, except the princess is black and the villian is a witch-doctor.
They are actually planning a Rapunzel. Not sure whether it’s 2d or 3d, but I think Kristin Chenoweth’s involved.
But yes, Pixar is AWESOME, for the most part. I was watching Ratatouille the other day. I forgot how nice it was.
I want my old Disney back. Pixar is excellent, but it isn’t the same. Granted, it’s better than anything Disney has done in ten years…. I want my pretty princess fairy tales :(
Come on, Rapunzel and The Snow Queen would both be awesome, you know it….
Kristin Chenowyth as Rapunzel? Oh God, no…. she’s great, but way too whiny for a princess! And too old!
Rapunzel was the chick with the long hair, right? Doesn’t seem like there’s much of an actual narrative there, unless you turn her into a spunky GRRL who climbs down her own hair. Speaking of which, why the hell didn’t the character in the story do that?
Nowhere to go….
I never read the actual fairy tale (The Snow Queen) – well, I did read some, but I never liked Gerda much for some reason- I sniffed a Sue. I know it’s common in fairy tales, but the Snow Queen herself interested me much more. At one time, I wanted to rewrite the fairy tale from her point of view.
Well, there is the problem of her hair being attached to her head…. the minute she climbed out the window, her braid ladder would fall down.
Come on, they filled out Sleeping Beauty magnificently, why not Rapunzel? Act I: The parents promise the girl, little girl grows up with witch. Act II: Prince meets her, talks to her at the window for a while, is hurt by the witch. Act III: She goes on her journey to restore his eyesight, they marry and she is reunited with her parents.
Gerda is a little Sue-ish, but that can be easily fixed. Make her pure of heart, sweet and kind… but make her weak, clumsy, and prone to cloudcuckoolanderism.
Nowhere to go….
She had somewhere to go alright.
She had to go KICK SOME EVIL WITCH/EVIL QUEEN/EVIL STEPMOTHER ASS is where she had to go.
Well, there is the problem of her hair being attached to her head…. the minute she climbed out the window, her braid ladder would fall down.
She could’ve cut it off and braided it into a rope, or else just tied one end to something and rappelled down the wall.
She could cut her hair off, couldn’t she? Unless the witch doesn’t allow her sharp objects…which is probably the case.
I ship Kai/Gerda. My favorite character was the bandit’s daughter, though. I thought she was so cool, especially in this one animated version we got from the library.
I just like villainesses. I mean, the Snow Queen had no real motivation I could tell.
Yeah, and then tie it to what, how? I doubt there was a nice wooden casement. Also, climbing up something can be way easier than climbing down. Also, the witch was kind to her- she probably didn’t really want to escape until she realized there was a world outside her tower. And she realized that when the Prince came, so….
Ooh! Make the Snow Queen a sympathetic villainess, who always wanted a darling son but couldn’t have one, who loves Kai but imprisons him because she is selfish… who rages when she sees he is gone, and then we get a little villain showdown where she tries to take him back but can’t, and cries pitifully.
Why’d the witch kidnap her anyway? Something about a debt, right? The father stole her cabbages or something? So why would the witch keep her locked up in a tower, wasting away? Unless all the witch really wanted in the first place was company who wasn’t biased against her…
Say, why doesn’t anyone ever write Rapunzel from the witch’s POV? I just gave you an idea right there.
I mean, the Snow Queen had no real motivation I could tell.
Because she’s evil. Like Galbatorix.
Yeah, and then tie it to what, how?
I always thought that if she somehow made a pulley, she could let herself up and down just by pulling on her braid.
Ooh! Make the Snow Queen a sympathetic villainess, who always wanted a darling son but couldn’t have one, who loves Kai but imprisons him because she is selfish
That would explain why she gives him presents like the puzzle…
Because she’s evil. Like Galbatorix.
See, this is exactly why fairy tales aren’t as much fun for me anymore. I still do enjoy them, but little things like this ruin the pleasure.
Well, they weren’t meant to be stories: they were supposed to scare little children. That’s why the wicked stepsisters have their toes and heels cut off and their eyes pecked out: so that mothers could say, “Now, you won’t be lazy, will you? You’ll do all your chores just like Cinderella, right?”
Yes, and she knows HOW to make a pulley (they were real big on educating women in science back then). And of course the requisite metal and wood would be in easy reach…
The witch has a garden full of magical herbs. A neighboring woodsman has a pregnant wife, who craves one of the witch’s herbs(rapunzel). He sneaks into the garden to steal some. The witch catches him and tells him she would have given it to him freely, if he had asked. Since he didn’t… she demands payment. He has nothing, so the witch demands his unborn child (the witch is lonely). He gives her the baby, the witch raises her, apparently pretty well. But she keeps her in the tower, selfish of her company, afraid of the girl leaving her.
Then the prince comes while the witch is out, romances Rapunzel, Rapunzel betrays the witch, the witch cuts her hair and banishes her, then catches the Prince and throws him off the tower (he falls into a thorn bush at the base of the tower; he goes blind). Both lovers search for each other, and eventually the Prince finds Rapunzel by the sound of her voice as she sings. She weeps for him and her tears restore his sight. Happy ending.
Yes, and she knows HOW to make a pulley (they were real big on educating women in science back then). And of course the requisite metal and wood would be in easy reach…
Well, if her hair is long enough, she could wrap her hair around the leg of a bed, say, and lower herself down. I can’t imagine her not figuring something out in the years of captivity without any human contact except the witch.
Well, she wasn’t discontented, so she didn’t try to think of ways to escape.
That’s true.
I think it would be interesting to develop more deeply. I like your version WW. I don’t remember what version I was told, but it wasn’t as satisfying.
I have to agree with previous posters in this thread about missing the old 2D Disney (my favorite happens to be Tarzan). Fortunately, with this Princess and the Frog thing in the coming winter, Disney may be returning to its roots.
Right now, the animation company I’m pissed off at the most is Dreamworks. Why do all of their movies have to be 3D comedies? Can’t they do a serious movie like Prince of Egypt for once?
My favorite was the Lion King because it had Darth Vader as Simba’s father.
Scar’s song was awesomesauce.
His ‘style’ was also awesomesauce.
I actually got in an argument with a TA over the Lion King a few semesters back. We were watching a thing about how Disney was racist and one of the people in the video accused the hyenas of being caricatures of black people(yeah, Cheech definitely sounds like a brother). So when she asked us if we agreed, I pointed out that the video totally disregarded how the obvious stand-in for the Evil Rich White Guy betrays his Noble Black Brother, but the TA wouldn’t hear of it.
I’m ticked off at Dreamworks too. I miss stuff like Road to El Dorado. And oh God, why so many Shrek sequels? They’re planning two more of them! And even Shrek makes me mad, they overdo the crude humor so much. I’m sorry, I like animation, but it’s for KIDS, stop with the damn fart jokes!
Well, considering that Shenzi is supposed to look like Whoopi Goldberg…
Yeah, but she was a COOL hyena!
And that Scar is the darker lion, while Mufasa is gold?
And that Scar is the darker lion, while Mufasa is gold?
Color doesn’t matter. He’s still the Evil Rich White Guy.
Even Kovu, Zira, and the other dark-colored Outlanders from Lion King 2? Versus the blonde lions from Pride Rock?
The animators were probably drawing on the “black clothing = evil” trope when giving the Outlanders darker fur.
Even Kovu, Zira, and the other dark-colored Outlanders from Lion King 2? Versus the blonde lions from Pride Rock
There was a Lion King 2?
The animators were probably drawing on the “black clothing = evil” trope when giving the Outlanders darker fur.
And where does that come from?
There was a Lion King 2?
Um, yeah. Based on Romeo & Juliet the same as #1 was based on Hamlet. They also made a Lion King 1 1/2.
Um, yeah. Based on Romeo & Juliet the same as #1 was based on Hamlet. They also made a Lion King 1 1/2.
I don’t believe it.
Not clicking that. Next thing you know, you’ll tell me there was a Rocky 5 or a Devil May Cry 2 or Star Wars 1-3.
It actually had some pretty good numbers in it. I count it as canon, because Kovu/Kiara are such a cute couple and the story is nicely handled. As far as I can remember (haven’t seen it in years, and last time I saw it my inner critic hadn’t yet awoken fully, so…) there wasn’t anything really horrible about it (unlike Aladdin 2 and 3, or Cinderella 2 and 3) to make me not want to watch it. I thought it was quite good.
I DON’T count that “one-and-a-half” one, that’s a poorly-made, blatant cash-grab by telling the same story from a different character’s perspective (timon’s). Although the animation of young-Simba and teen-Siomba weren’t too bad. Doesn’t make up for the rest of it, though. Ugh.
It was good. For a sequel.
The only thing I object to was the blatant use of the “only ugly people are bad” trope. The moment Kovu was physically deformed, he was automatically evil.
edit: @ Hmyndy: Scar’s song was awesomesauce.
Wasn’t Scar voiced by Jeremy Irons?
Yes.
Oh my god, now I have to start a thread about What Disney Character Are You?
That sounds like (and is. I know this for a fact.) a Facebook quiz. Or one of those internet quizzes that are just everywhere.
But it does sound like a cool thread.
Personally, my current pet peeve is when all the Disney starlets cover the classic Disney songs.
I agree a thousand times.
UGH, just leave them be!
(Okay, I will start a ‘What Disney Character Are You?’ thread)
My favorite is Beauty and the Beast.
That Library!
drools
I love Lion King as well.
Pixar is great, but it isn’t the same. Up was really, really good.
That’s because Pixar is 3D. There’s a special nostalgic charm about 2D.
Yeah…. really. Ooh! Fantasia 2000! I love it….
“Fantasia 2000” is amazing. I remember “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” the most, as well as the Tin Soldier bit, and the blue lady goddess thing.
Though I may be saying this out of nostalgia as I haven’t actually watched it in years.
I love the firebird sequence. That was the one with the nymph of spring. Ooh, and the bit with the flamingos and the yo-yo… teehee!
I miss my 90s Disney movies. I hope I’m not alone.
Damn straight you’re not. I realised that my little brother, who’s only four years younger, doesn’t know the classic Disney movies, though. D: I guess it must’ve been mainly the late-80s/early-90s kids that caught them. ;_;
@Liadan—I hate you. You killed my brain.
._.
@ Elanor, if you hadn’t made me youtube Lucas Grabeel and Corbin Bleu I never would have found this.
I was actually raised on fairy tale theatre, not Disney. My parents were anti-fairy-tale-bastardization
@ Elanor, if you hadn’t made me youtube Lucas Grabeel and Corbin Bleu I never would have found this.
Hey. Lucas Grabeel isn’t that bad. Comparatively.
>:|
Why the cross-out? Compared to Zac Efron, he’s practically an opera singer…
Zac Efron HAD to be mentioned? Bleurgh. Ear acid! Ear acid!
Zac Efron HAD to be mentioned? Bleurgh. Ear acid! Ear acid!
JUST AS PLANNED
/dramaticcrispeating
Zac Efron and/or Edward Cullen need to be mentioned in every conversation, casually. It helps to weed out the fangirls and the twilighters.
But if you do it too often with the same people, you come across as atrangely obsessed with them yourself…
Once per new acquaintance is quite enough. Unless you have my friends, who talk about Edward without being pushed in that direction. Sadly, the conversation seems to limit itself to “EDWARD! SQUUEEE!” in those cases.
The witch has a garden full of magical herbs. A neighboring woodsman has a pregnant wife, who craves one of the witch’s herbs(rapunzel). He sneaks into the garden to steal some. The witch catches him and tells him she would have given it to him freely, if he had asked. Since he didn’t… she demands payment. He has nothing, so the witch demands his unborn child (the witch is lonely). He gives her the baby, the witch raises her, apparently pretty well. But she keeps her in the tower, selfish of her company, afraid of the girl leaving her.
Then the prince comes while the witch is out, romances Rapunzel, Rapunzel betrays the witch, the witch cuts her hair and banishes her, then catches the Prince and throws him off the tower (he falls into a thorn bush at the base of the tower; he goes blind). Both lovers search for each other, and eventually the Prince finds Rapunzel by the sound of her voice as she sings. She weeps for him and her tears restore his sight. Happy ending.
This is the version I remember, though it’s more of an interpretation. It depends on who reads/tells you the story. My mother was of the opinion that the witch was evil and Rapunzel was good. Most people are. I always felt sorry for the witch and really disliked Rapunzel. It’s mentioned in the version I read that the witch raised and loved Rapunzel as her own child. As far as I’m concerned, Rapunzel did not deserve a happy ending seeing as how she betrayed the only mother she ever knew. u_u
I have now converted my mother to this interpretation. :3
I had parents who didn’t believe in raising children on bunnies and flowers and marshmallow Peeps, which is why I had a book of fairy tales when I was young. Let me clarify that- a book of fairy tales published nearly a hundred years ago, before fairy tales were Bowdlerized. So I know all the original stories… disgusting bits still intact. Like Cinderella. The original version of that is sick!
@Kyrollac: I don’t think either Rapunzel nor the witch are evil. The witch is lonely, but she’s selfish too. She hasn’t given room for Rapunzel to really fulfill her potential. Granted, once Rapunzel marries the prince, I don’t think she’s going to be doing much adventuring or anything. On the other hand, Rapunzel does betray the witch, who was kind to her, despite smothering her. So I think they’re both partly to blame and both sympathetic.
I would really like to write a short story on this interpretation, actually.
@ Swenson: What happens in the original Cinderella?
curls up into defensive ball in case it’s explosive
To make their feet fit in the glass slipper, the stepsisters cut off their heels and their toes.
The stepmother says that it’ll be fine because when they’re royalty, they won’t need to walk; servants will carry them.
Oh. That one I’ve heard.
And on the way to the wedding, birds come and peck out their eyes.
As, you know, punishment. Because, dear children, Bad People Always Have Bad Things Happen to Them in the end.
And the prince finds out that they aren’t the right one to fit the shoes because the little birdies (who are Cinderella’s friends) sing “Look back, look back, there’s blood on the track.”
Because, you know, somehow he totally missed that their foot was gushing blood when he was checking to see if the slipper fit.
Also, there is no fairy godmother- Cinderella actually goes to a witch for help, which is why it only lasts till midnight… because the witch is an evil old hag who thinks it’d be funny to make everything disappear at midnight. In some versions there is also an evil witch who helps the stepsisters and magically keeps Cinderella from going to the prince and saying it’s her shoe. In at least one version I read, the stepmother is also not actually a stepmother… she’s Cinderella’s birth mother. The Brothers Grimm changed all of that when they wrote the stories down, though… apparently the idea of a mother being cruel was worse than a stepmother being cruel.
This is the plus side of German television- decent productions of fairy tales. I once saw the…polish, I think, version of it, in which there’s a dead mother and a magic tree she has to shake to get her wishes, and it actually graphically showed the foot-cutting.
And getting back on topic, it seems that Disney’s bought Marvel. So now, my childhood memories of Spider-Man and X-Men could potentially be at risk.
I don’t trust Disney with Marvel either.
Well, don’t forget they also own Miramax, and you can’t really accuse them of kiddying that up.
I’m sorta torn about it, because I can see the upsides of such an arrangement. Pixar being able to make use of Marvel’s IP? YES PREEZ
Also, some of the more terrible stories I’ve read in comics recently(Ultimatum, I’m looking at you) could’ve done with some major sanitizing.
Question for the comic book fans around here- if I wanted to start reading comics like, oh… Batman, where should I start? I’m not new to Batman in general and I know how to use Wikipedia, so I can jump into the middle of a story wherever.
This is the occasion where I should be pointing you toward Marvel’s Ultimate line, specifically Ultimate Spider-Man, but they let Loeb RUIN IT FOREVER.
I dunno much about DC, except I heard Countdown was utter balls.
Batman: Year One’s a pretty good place to start.
Well, if anyone has suggestions other than Batman, I’m open to them, too.
Didn’t Disney, under their Touchstone banner, publish the Turok game that came out last year? That was hardly kid-friendly.
Oh, try All-Star Batman and Robin, swenson. You won’t regret it.
chokes
Yes, go with All-Star Batman and Robin. Then post your reactions here.
Yeah, that doesn’t sound… suspicious… at all… because I always put chokes when recommending things… :eyebrow raise of utter suspicion:
I was merely surprised that I had found a perfect opportunity to share this most excellent of Batman comics with the world. Nothing suspicious at all.
Uh-huh. Yeahhhh…
To Google! Let’s see what “All Star Batman Robin reviews” brings up…
On the contrary, All-Star Superman’s really good.
Don’ t bother googling it Swenson, it will ruin all the twists and turns.
Frank Miller wrote it! FRANK MILLER