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    • CommentTimeNov 7th 2010

    I love flames, so burn anything.


    “Tyger tyger, burning bright
    In the forest of the night…”

    Like so?

    • CommentTimeNov 8th 2010 edited


    “They burned in the flames of my hatred, their screams feebly scraping the gates of the heavens”

    Like that.


    Who said that?

    • CommentTimeNov 8th 2010





    ‘Tis Beautiful – “feebly scraping”, hehe.

    • CommentAuthorDeborah
    • CommentTimeNov 16th 2010
    Or what about the Cullens being a group of vigilante vampires who deal with crime by sucking the blood of criminals?

    Emmett is a burly bruiser with biceps the size of anacondas…
    His wife Rosalie is a curvy blonde with perfect nails and makeup…
    Together, they fight crime!


    You forgot the link to tvtropes. Well done.


    Couldn’t find it.

    Or how about this:

    Using their altered Cullen-powers, Esme, Alice and Rosalie have dedicated their lives to fighting crime and the FORCES... OF… EEEVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLL!!!!


    I actually kinda liked the Emmett/Rosalie duo. It’d be a bit like Mr and Mrs Smith crossed with Van Helsing, and a bit of Bond added.


    You should read that spitefic that das mervin made, then.

    Emmett is a legend in it.
    And Rosalie doesn’t get more than half a line, but she’s still a stronger woman than in canon.


    What’s it called? I’m on my way…


    It has no name.

    It’s in the sporks, in that chapter where Laurent comes to warn the Cullens about James.
    She said it was so stupid that she just had to fix it.

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeNov 17th 2010


    • CommentTimeNov 17th 2010

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! That is brilliant.

    Truth be told, I’ve always liked Emmett more than everyone else, anyway. I can work up some loathing for pretty much everyone else in the entire series, but Emmett… yeah, I can’t hate him. Probably because he doesn’t like Bella most of the time, and even when he starts not hating her, he still doesn’t treat her as quite as much of a special snowflake as everyone else.


    Emmett is pretty awesome. He’s like the big brother I never had …wait, when did he not like Bella?


    Truth be told, I’ve always liked Emmett more than everyone else, anyway.

    If I had to leave out James and Victoria, because they’re Evil, I’d say Emmett, Rosalie and Alice are still pretty likeable. And Jacob too – at least, up until that violent ship-sinking Author’s Saving Throw.

    Also, Spitefic!Emmett gives off a few Count von Count-vibes, which is always funny. And he says this:

    “I can kick so much ass. You have no idea—sometimes when I’m kicking ass, I actually have to chew bubblegum because I’ve run out of ass!”


    wait, when did he not like Bella?

    Yeah, when was that? I thought the only Cullen who didn’t adore Bella was Rosalie.

    • CommentTimeNov 18th 2010 edited

    I like the ‘prediction’ Dan gives here (chapter 19 of Breaking Dawn):

    The Volturi show up. All hell breaks loose.

    ARO: Give us the child.
    EDWARD: Never!
    ARO: Do it, or else you will die!
    JACOB: You can’t take my love away from me!
    ARO: Um…and who are you?
    JACOB: I’m Jacob, the shoeless werewolf!

    [Marcus leans over to Aro and whispers something and points to Jacob]

    ARO: Ewwww! Really? Ewww! That’s, like, insane!
    JACOB: I love her.
    ARO: This is perverted freak fan-fiction. We should kill you on general principle. You love a baby? A baby? Really?
    JACOB: It’s not like that. I will love her like a daughter until she is mature enough to mouth kiss me—
    ARO: Enough! Marcus, kill this baby-dater.

    [Marcus leans over to Aro and whispers something else]

    ARO: I don’t really care if Hilary Duff thinks that guy on Glee is hot. I don’t even watch Glee!
    MARCUS: You should. It’s corny, but in the best possible way. It’s a lot like—
    ARO: Silence! Kill the shoeless one. And the other Volturi, whose names I forget, go kill the Cullens!
    QUIL: My girlfriend and I had a fight. She wanted Legos. I think Legos are too sharp, and so I got her Duplo Blocks. She’s not happy.
    JACOB: My girlfriend just discovered her toes.

    • CommentTimeNov 18th 2010

    Didn’t he dislike her in the first book? Or at least disapprove of Edward’s attachment to her?


    Well, by the second half of the book anyway he was fine with her. I think his mentality before they met was ‘it’s not really worth it, dude’. By the time he actually met Bella? He liked her.

    But think about it. He’s married to Rosalie. He’d like anybody.

    Apep’s post = win.

    • CommentAuthorDeborah
    • CommentTimeNov 18th 2010 edited
    I love the crime-fighting vampires idea:
    She's a cute girl with psychic powers...he's a charismatic ex-soldier with a voice that can sway a crowd. They fight crime!
    He's a hot doctor...she's a sweet-looking housewife. They fight crime.
    He's a musical loner...she's a brown-eyed bookworm. They fight crime.
    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeNov 18th 2010

    That needs to happen. Now?


    I love how you couldn’t think of anything to describe Bella beyond ‘brown-eyed’.


    That needs to happen. Now?

    No! Not now, yesterday!


    No! Not yesterday, 2005!

    • CommentTimeNov 19th 2010

    No, they need to never happen. Ever!


    Apep’s post = win.


    I love how you couldn’t think of anything to describe Bella beyond ‘brown-eyed’.

    And technically speaking, she’s not a bookworm either.
    Think about that one.

    No! Not yesterday, 2005!

    Would’ve spared us a lot of pain.
    But then again, we’d have lost out on something to mock, too.

    • CommentAuthorDeborah
    • CommentTimeNov 19th 2010
    Well, if I actually wrote this, I'd change her character to be a bookworm, so I could actually give her a personality.

    Of course.
    Give her something to keep herself busy with, when Sparkleboy isn’t around.


    I was watching a Buffy episode (‘Lie to Me’, if any of you want to know) and it struck me as amazing how directly the show is opposed to Twilight considering it was released long before the book was even conceived.

    But yeah, if you improved Twilight, you’d get (hopefully) something sliding nearer to Buffy.


    But yeah, if you improved Twilight, you’d get (hopefully) something sliding nearer to Buffy.

    Or Vampire Diaries. You ever watched that one before, SWQ?
    I think you’ll like it.


    No, I watch too much TV as it is. :P

    • CommentAuthorDeborah
    • CommentTimeNov 20th 2010
    or they could be an army of mercenary vampires, who fight for the highest bidder.