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  1.  
    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJun 29th 2009
     

    I would check those links, but that would be breaking my embargo of fanfiction.net.
    Can I find summaries on a different website?

  2.  

    No, because they are so horrible that they wouldn’t be recced anywhere else.

  3.  

    Oh God, that’s horrible. I’ve been scarred for life… D:

  4.  

    And worse

    I read it. brain bleach

  5.  
    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJun 29th 2009
     
    DON'T USE THAT WORD!!!!!
  6.  

    Whoops. My bad.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2009
     

    This should be the Twilight cover:

    •  
      CommentAuthorSMARTALIENQT
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2009 edited
     

    Are you calling Edward a piece of shit?! Gasp! is affronted

    EDIT: Just realized that all of SMeyer’s titles are in lower case letters. snicker

  7.  

    I love This


    Caption: which Twilight book is this?

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2009
     

    New Moon?

  8.  

    Nah, “breaking” dawn.

    (i’m sorry)

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2009
     

    Well, don’t blame me for not reading the book.

  9.  

    i was making reference to pool players “breaking”

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2009
     
    Wow, that's... so lame.
  10.  

    Exactly why I apologized shortly afterwards Spanny.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJul 2nd 2009
     
    Sometimes apologies are just not enough.
  11.  

    Is it wrong that I found that funny.

    •  
      CommentAuthorElanor
    • CommentTimeJul 3rd 2009
     

    Yes. Very.

  12.  

    I think you lie.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeJul 3rd 2009
     

    •  
      CommentAuthorElanor
    • CommentTimeJul 3rd 2009
     

    ...Puppet, I hate you.

  13.  

    Lol. I doctored my own version of Edward Cullen, but it’s on my harddrive so I can’t upload it.

  14.  

    I did, too! Here it is – very sparse, since I can only do either outlines or fill entirely….

  15.  

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Sparse outlines are go!

    •  
      CommentAuthorElanor
    • CommentTimeJul 4th 2009
     

    I think that’s my favourite one so far. XD

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJul 4th 2009
     

    I wish I were that sparkly.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeJul 4th 2009
     

  16.  

    I like that one. It’s like he’s being attacked by a swarm of fireflies, or fairies.

    Hey…

    •  
      CommentAuthorJeni
    • CommentTimeJul 4th 2009
     

    His lips are unnaturally girly…

  17.  

    I think he’s wearing lip gloss.

    It’s actually becoming common. Hollywood makeup artists now use lip gloss on males as well as females. Look at this:

    I’ll be glad when we find out lip gloss is made from the juices of dead dung beetles mixed with the blood of virgin babies.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeJul 4th 2009
     

    Eeeeewww….

  18.  

    What, the lipgloss or the ingredients?

    •  
      CommentAuthorCorsair
    • CommentTimeJul 4th 2009
     
    Did the virgin part on babies really need to be said? Are there a lot of non-virgin babies?
    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeJul 4th 2009
     

    What, the lipgloss or the ingredients?

    Both. :P

  19.  

    SMaqt, I’m going to make you pay for that picture…

    •  
      CommentAuthorJeni
    • CommentTimeJul 4th 2009
     

    Eeeewwww.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeJul 4th 2009 edited
     

    •  
      CommentAuthorSMARTALIENQT
    • CommentTimeJul 4th 2009 edited
     

    Did the virgin part on babies really need to be said? Are there a lot of non-virgin babies?

    I couldn’t decide between “the blood of virgins” or “the blood of babies.” So… both.

    SMaqt, I’m going to make you pay for that picture…

    I’m trying not to think of the images that came to my mind when I read that… I really have to stop going to my FF forum.

    EDIT: Puppet, that picture actually looks… pretty…

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJul 4th 2009
     

    He looks like some kind of faerie.

  20.  

    Fairy, Adonis, marble statue, it’s all the same.

    •  
      CommentAuthorElanor
    • CommentTimeJul 4th 2009
     

    Puppet, you should post a larger version of that picture on a Twilight fansite as a wallpaper.

  21.  

    I’D use it – it’s very pretty. It looks very legit as fanart, as opposed to your first one.

  22.  
    Actually, every time I see another picture of Rob Pattinson, I'm filled with a little more squee.

    Please stop before I degenerate into an RPattz fangirl. PLEASE!
    •  
      CommentAuthorJeni
    • CommentTimeJul 5th 2009
     

    So whenever Bella describes Edward as an adonis, I think of this guy:

    http://www.dft.gov.uk/press/ministers/andrewadonis

    I think Twilight would be much improved if we had Lord Adonis Secretary for Transport! a vampire! a vegetarian vampire! in love with a human! while battling to keep the trains on time!

  23.  

    Oh God… rolls on floor, laughing hysterically

  24.  

    That’d be a nice parody.

  25.  
    *snickers*

    Thankyou. The squee is no more.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJabrosky
    • CommentTimeJul 5th 2009
     

    I might actually enjoy Twilight a little if I was attracted to Bella. Sorry, Kristen Stewart, you’re not my type.

    I realize, of course, that other guys may like her. If so, to each his own.

    •  
      CommentAuthorElanor
    • CommentTimeJul 5th 2009
     
    She has pretty much the same two expressions throughout the movie: O.O and -_-
  26.  

    I say we make a new thread, entitled “My Affair With the Secretary of Transport, and His Deep Dark Secret”, with all the goodness of the Purple Prose Thread with Lord Adonis added in.

    I can see it now:

    I didn’t know what the Secretary saw in me. I was pale, pale even for the hot, dusky Outback of Australia, the human equivalent of beige…

    •  
      CommentAuthorJeni
    • CommentTimeJul 6th 2009
     
    XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

    Ok, the first one to write a fanfic about this gets the link put up on his wikipage.

    More people must know of this great love story.
  27.  

    Ohhellnoez you can’t be serious…

    checks forum

    You were.

    •  
      CommentAuthorElanor
    • CommentTimeJul 8th 2009
     

    Ohhellnoez you can’t be serious…

    MAHAHAHAHAHA

    Yes, yes we are insane.

  28.  

    You think I don’t realise that?

    •  
      CommentAuthorElanor
    • CommentTimeJul 8th 2009
     

    I think you want to join us. :D

    Which I think you have already, so WHEEE.

  29.  

    Edward pics = EPIC WIN

  30.  

    Ahh… Edward Cullen… oh, the squee….

    • CommentAuthorTourniquet
    • CommentTimeJul 14th 2009
     

    One time I saw a car that said “Gary Cullen” on the back. First thought? “There goes Edward’s estranged, non-glittery cousin.” lolz

  31.  

    One time I saw a car that said “Gary Cullen” on the back. First thought? “There goes Edward’s estranged, non-glittery cousin.” lolz

    He’s the black sheep of the family, the only one who like NASCAR, beer, fishing, etc.

  32.  

    He’s the black sheep of the family, the only one who like NASCAR, beer, fishing, etc.

    He would never date a girl without getting permission from her father first, and will only be with her if both sets of parents are present… except when they make passionate love in the janitor’s closet. And he only drives a VW Beetle.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJul 15th 2009
     

    A rusty VW Beetle. With peace signs painted all over it.

    • CommentAuthorTourniquet
    • CommentTimeJul 16th 2009
     

    Someone write something about him! He seems quite the interesting character. :)

    I can see it now: the beautiful Cullens vs Gary, the “regular bloke”. He doesn’t understand why the Cullens are glorified when he KNOWS that Edward has a hidden scrapbook full of sparkly stickersunder the mattress and his other cousins have strange habits…

    Good blackmail material.

  33.  

    I’m not sure if this comic goes here or under “twilight’s merits”

  34.  

    I’m starting to suspect DOB has been visiting our forums…
    http://www.cracked.com/blog/my-book-proposal-for-the-next-bestselling-piece-of-shit/

    • CommentAuthorTourniquet
    • CommentTimeJul 25th 2009
     

    I found this On Amazon. Quite funny if you read it. Jenner takes all the annoying cliches and turns them around. Made me laugh a bit.

  35.  

    And I knew about it earlier!

    hangs head I have failed you guys…

  36.  

    You mean I could have read this sooner? Shame on you, Steph!

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJul 26th 2009
     

    Indeed. Verily, this deserves a jocular shunning.

  37.  

    That Guy With The Glasses gave a good suggestion…

    “The second movie is called New Moon because they all go to the Moon. But on the way there, they run out of oxygen and all die. At least, that’s my version of the movie.”

  38.  

    Is the Twilite author going to write sequels?

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJul 26th 2009
     

    Probably, if his first book is successful.
    Therefore, we must all now go and buy it.

  39.  

    I like all the names. Stella Crow, Edweird Sullen.

  40.  

    They’re not bad, but almost too easy.

    I like parodies where you have to think a little. Or at least, they are so many layers it rewards you on repeated viewings/readings.

  41.  

    I agree. It seems like it’s just a scene for scene rehashing of the book, but making fun of it instead of taking it seriously. It could get dull.

    Oh, and this made me cringe. All the high ratings. Characters? Finding yourself? Oh, come one!

    EDIT: Okay, you have to click on “See all reviews” because it didn’t link properly.

  42.  

    I can’t remember if it was said already, but surely everyone’s seen South Park’s take on Twilight per se?

  43.  

    Oh, the one with the Goths and the Vampires, and then Butters becomes a vampire? I love that one. Butters is adorable.

  44.  

    “I am now… ungroundable.”

    I just want to add “per se” to the end of every one of my sentences now.

    •  
      CommentAuthorJabrosky
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2009
     

    So, which is your favourite dinosaur?

    Tyrannosaurus rex. Triceratops runs a close second.

  45.  

    My brother’s favorite is T-rex too. He can’t decide on a second favorite.

  46.  

    When all the little T-rexes were picked on for their puny and ridiculous-looking arms, they knew inside that the other dinos could laugh, because thousands of years later, they would be revered by small apes everywhere… I have no idea where that came from.

  47.  

    BTW: apparently a war has begun

  48.  

    I think I’m in love.

    •  
      CommentAuthorElanor
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2009
     

    Oh, Cracked, how I adore thee.

    Yeah, the video screaming hurt my ears. Imagine the real life screaming.

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeAug 1st 2009
     

    I do indeed hat this comic con.

    •  
      CommentAuthorJabrosky
    • CommentTimeAug 1st 2009 edited
     

    When all the little T-rexes were picked on for their puny and ridiculous-looking arms, they knew inside that the other dinos could laugh, because thousands of years later, they would be revered by small apes everywhere… I have no idea where that came from.

    Fun fact: T. Rex arms had enough muscle to lift more than 439 lbs. Some think they may have been used as meat hooks to hold onto prey.

    The reason tyrannosaurids’ arms were so short is because they had such big heads with powerful, bone-crushing jaws. If their arms were longer, they would be too front-heavy and lose their balance.

    Back to something vaguely resembling the topic: Considering that a graphic novel is being made, Twilight could very well be terrifying comic con visitors in the future.

  49.  

  50.  

  51.  

    • CommentAuthorDanielle
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2010
     

    ^^ Epic, Nate. Epic.

    • CommentAuthorDeborah
    • CommentTimeOct 28th 2010
     
    Could the Cullens actually not go to high school? What if Edward was a spy, since he can read minds? And kill the sparkle.
    Secret agent vampire working for the CIA.....
    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeOct 28th 2010
     

    Someone already did something like that. Check it out.

  52.  

    I’m writing a fic that involves improving Twilight with an epic battle at the end and some take-over-the-world action.
    Whether I finish it or not is another story.

  53.  

    Oh steph you perpetual tease… XD

  54.  

    XD

  55.  

  56.  

    •  
      CommentAuthorarska
    • CommentTimeNov 7th 2010 edited
     

    Burn it.

  57.  

    What, the story or my hair (which you may now notice is cyber-brown) or my ‘perpetual teasiness’?