Ok, as we all know, by far the best way to improve twilight is:

We also have posted the standard +Batman and +Ninjas. What other ways would you improve twilight? (both serious and fun, try not to repeat)

Me? Actually keep it as is. Edward’s fascinated with Bella because she’s the first woman he won’t get bored with after 5 minutes (because he can read their minds, get out of the gutter you). Only this time, Bella is – you know – interesting. (examples: A witch, a musical artist, famous actress and they have to deal with their relationship getting out in the tabloids, a raptor)

Jacob should have never imprinted. Then he could stick around for the next several hundred years and ruin Bella’s love life forever.

Oh, jeez. I wonder how much more/less popular her books would be if she’d actually done that.

On the subject of Edward and Jacob sharing Bella, there’s an actual quote from Breaking Dawn…
“I don’t care about anything but keeping her alive. If it’s a child she wants, she can have it. She can have half a dozen babies. Anything she wants. She can have puppies, if that’s what it takes.”

...BAHAHAHA

Anyway. About a million more similar gems can be found here

On a more serious note, fleshing out the secondary characters, particularly the humans, as people, rather than stereotypes and cardboard cut-outs. I can’t really comment on the book, but the film’s characters seemed a bit flat.

Jet on agony booth said

Bella’s Friends (Anna Kendrick, Michael Welch, Christian Serratos, Justin Chon). I would dearly like to shake Ms. Hardwicke’s hand for the way she handled these guys. Personalities! Senses of humour! Character development! Believeability! Of all the characters in the Twilight universe, they’re the ones who got the most obvious overhaul, and it’s all for the good. I want these guys as my friends.

So now imagine how much less there was in the source or something. (is it possible to have negative amount of character?)

C’thultu dance numbers. Every 12 min. On the dot.

After that, Steve Irwin appears and wrestles it to death.

I think Renesmee should be born as a complete monster at first.

I like #2 better. >>

Make Carlisle a necromancer and Edward a reanimated corpse.

I’m still going with Bella as a hemophiliac. That would be a twist.

Lol, I’d love to see that.

This came to me from the movie.

The biggest enemy of science is death. Why? Because scientists die which mean new scientists have to spend time and effort learning what came before in order to proceed forward.
Example:
Allen makes a discovery. Allen dies.
Bob comes along, studies Allen’s work and adds to it. Bob dies.
Carl comes along, he studies Allen’s and Bob’s work before adding to them. Carl then dies.
(etc etc)
Enter: Meyerpires.

They only have to learn the basics once and then can continue to make new discoveries indefinitely. Just imagine the Cullens’ home with this in mind. A chalkboard where the latest digit of Pi is listed. A room dedicated to prime numbers. As well as humorous scenes (Edward’s in algebra 101, working on string theory equations while the teacher talks). And, again, how that would impact a society. (would they ever need to hunt again? or would humans bring the “living libraries” food every day?)

Seriously, did the books ever explain why Meyerpires live in hiding?

Crap, that’s a really cool idea….shakes head Meyer disappoints me even more.

I live and breath math and I don’t memorize the square root of pi. The reason being that’s one of the singularly most useless things to know, ever. That expression never comes up in real math problems. Oh well, Smeyer.

I know most of the square roots from 1 to 10, because those do come up.

Her intelligence is extremely poorly characterized. None of the things she does make rational sense. Which isn’t to say that characters should only act rationally—indeed well written characters do act irrationally, just as humans do. But from someone as “intelligent” I would expect more analysis of a situation before doing the irrational thing.

Oh, Bella’s high school guy friends are hardly the type to have STDs. Eric’s pretty much set on being a career virgin.

Twilight as a children’s moral story book series. You know the sort:

Edward and the Window: a story about respecting others’ privacy
Bella and the Spring Dance: a story about lying
Alice and the Vision: a story about meddling in other people’s affairs
Aro and Alice: a story about covetuousness
Rosalie and the New Family Member: a story about envy

etc etc.

Despite never having talked to her in my life, I need Kitty to do the illustrations. We so should!

Um. I don’t like dealing with the underworld very much. Last time I ended up locked out of my house covered in paint with my underwear on my head.

Wow, Nate’s gonna come back and realise we’ve totally hijacked his thread.

As if I care. It’s not like I have any spare nukes for you anyway.
...
Oh here’s one!

Maybe Twilight would just be better as a classic Noir film. Actually, vampires in detective noir seems like an excellent idea. Hold on a moment while I write this down.

I think they had that a series Sly. It was done by Joss Whedon. Started with an A. Ended with “ngel”.

I figured Sly, what is funny is that’s how behind the scenes is described. Angel was supposed to be very Noir with, of course, a vampire.

True, very true…

A friend of mine sent me Twilight- the really real version.

It all makes sense now! I know why Edward can’t read Bella’s mind!

EDIT: Fixed! Special thanks to Nate, for being super awesome. :D

Dan that would also explain a lot about Bella’s only 2 expressions.

Now I so want to write a story about cyborg vampires fighting ninja werewolves.

Done and done.

It is AWESOME indeed.

Summer Glau? But she’s weird.

I must create more Firefly and Serenity fans so people understand. :/

I must create more Firefly and Serenity fans so people understand. :/

I’m a fan Sly. It’s ok.

Have you met her?

I am no so very jealous of Jeni that I cannot speak to her.