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  1.  

    And I quote: “His eyes were brown, although you wouldn’t know it just by looking.”

    And I quote: “PEWPEW — Lasers! — PEWPEWPEW!”

  2.  

    “Performance artists are what you call mimes who can’t shut up and lack the spatial awareness to form invisible boxes.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorKyllorac
    • CommentTimeApr 8th 2010
     

  3.  

    “It’s too bad she won’t live. But, then again, who does?”

  4.  

    “B.A. Baracus, these are your roots.”

    “This is dirt ,fool.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeApr 8th 2010 edited
     

    And I quote: “I can’t wait until I’m old enough for the Senior’s Menu”

    ... the Senior’s Menu at most of the restaurants around here has cheap Lamb’s Fry, Mum’s favourite dish. It isn’t on the regular menu, though.

  5.  

    And I quote

    Hulk want hug kitties
    But they so easy to squish!
    Hulk live in cruel world

    This makes me both sad and amused.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeApr 8th 2010
     

    Willow, that is brilliant. Do you know who wrote it?

  6.  

    It’s from some Marvel thing, “Hulk-Ku” haiku poems. TvTropes referenced it.

  7.  

    And I quote: “The pain wouldn’t stop, and Vern still had three cats left.”

  8.  

    “You’re as crazy as a nebula of crap.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeApr 9th 2010
     

    And I quote:

    “I think everybody messes up their homophones at some point, even if we discount the formative years and only talk about mistakes make in adult communications. They make for sum humerus puns, though. I am [sic]ened by the shear some of mistakes you can find just by walking down the streit during a big sail season. Butchers and grocers seam to be cereal offenders. People who misuse words have sewn the seeds of ridicule, and certainly won’t make a prophet from doing so. “

  9.  

    I never misuse homophones, and I despise those who do.

    “It’s not so much what you look like; it’s what’s inside that he can’t stand!

  10.  

    “I asked my dad what his favorite Pokémon was. He answered me it was Lord Voldemort.”

    -something from College Humor

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeApr 11th 2010
     

    Castle: If something were to happen to me I want you to watch out for Alexis. She looks up to you, and if a worth man would get frisky you can shoot them.

    Beckett: Nothing is gonna happen to you.

    Castle: But if it does…?

    Beckett: Ok.

    Castle: And would you also go into my closet and get rid of my porn collection before she finds it?

    Esposito: Don’t worry, Bro. I got you covered in that.

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeApr 11th 2010
     

    Oh yeah, I love that scene. Just brilliant.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeApr 11th 2010
     

    You watch Castle? oO

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeApr 11th 2010
     

    Wasn’t that obvious earlier somewhere in the forum? Of course I do! My dad’s a big fan, so of course I watch Castle!

    It’s a great show that comes after Bones, Dad and I can watch the greatest shows of all times (in our opinion) in one sitting. Isn’t that great!

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeApr 11th 2010
     

    You have just gained a lot of respect, No One. xD

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeApr 11th 2010
     

    Ah, thanks very much, Puppet! XD

    and I quote: “You’ve got guts, girl, to take on the commander like that!”

  11.  

    “I, Garland, will knock you all down!”

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeApr 12th 2010
     

    “Hark! Hark, the dogs do bark! The beggars are coming to town!”

  12.  

    “Thunder rolled. It rolled a six.”

  13.  

    And I quote: “It’s hard to imagine you as a boy. Did your parents call you Mr. Feeny?”

  14.  

    Boy Meets World!

    Haha, I love Mr. Feeny. I wish I had an English teacher like him.

  15.  

    “These newsgrids, sheesh. All I’d wanted was a little e-news.”

  16.  

    And I quote: “Tuesday. Africa. Lion o’clock.”

  17.  

    “Look red pubes! You don’t have to send me any of yours or anything. I plan to pick yours out of my teeth someday. Hurrah! I can be as lewd as I want without feelings of guilt.”

  18.  

    And I quote: “Splashy the whale smiled secretively, flapping his flappers and swimming.”

    And I quote: “Tillikum the orca pulled his trainer into the water, violently drowning her and swimming.”

  19.  

    “It was shot over two or three days, when Matt was aiming for his lowest weight. At the end of the day, he had a pizza standing by so he could eat. But we didn’t finish the scene. It was so sad, and he couldn’t eat the whole thing until the next night. That’s bravery.”

  20.  

    On her six and a half year high school reunion:

    And I quote: “I don’t miss any of those people yet, and I don’t think that’s a problem time can solve.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeApr 18th 2010
     

    Silence, dog. Your only purpose is to die by my hand.

    -Jon Irenicus

    Ah, Baldur’s Gate II: Shadows of Amn how I love thee so. <3

  21.  

    “Charlie Chaplin used his ass better than any other actor. In all of his films, his ass is practically the protagonist. For a comic, the ass has incredible importance.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2010
     

    “So the Borg demand Picard turn himself over but he says ‘they’d better leave or else the Enterprise will break out its brand new technology.’ Which, considering the Borg love new technology, is like thinking you can ward off a date-rapist by saying you’re wearing crotchless panties. You might say that’s a tasteless metaphore, but you’d be completely wrong. That’s a simile.”

    - sfdebris, Best of Both Worlds, pt. 1

    •  
      CommentAuthorDiamonte
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2010 edited
     

    Verily know, when half-gods go, the gods arrive.

  22.  

    “The meteor formed a crater, vampires crawling out of the crater.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeApr 20th 2010
     

    And I quote: “African-American danruff is delicious sprinkled over steak.”

  23.  

    “His age was indeterminate. But, in cynicism and general world-weariness, which is a sort of carbon-dating of the personality, he was about seven thousand years old.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeApr 21st 2010
     

    “I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.”

  24.  

    And I quote: “It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness. Steeling himself for battle, Fyandor, the oldest and bravest of the lamps, proclaimed, ‘Nay, foul wind, this will not be the night of our extinguishment!’”

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeApr 22nd 2010
     

    ..... Don’t tell me the paragraph actually has “(for it is in London that our scene lies) ‘cause that’s tell, not show.

    This sounds really purple.

  25.  

    Don’t tell me the paragraph actually has “(for it is in London that our scene lies) ‘cause that’s tell, not show.

    You probably didn’t know this, but everything up to “Steeling himself for battle” is the ORIGINAL “dark and stormy night” sentence. Everything that the guy wrote was like this. Don’t take my word for it.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeApr 22nd 2010
     

    This sounds really purple.

    It’s supposed to. There’s a contest every year to see how purple you can write using “It’s a dark and stormy night.”

  26.  

    ^^Yeah, but everything is in the original except, “Steeling himself for battle, Fyandor, the oldest and bravest of the lamps, proclaimed, ‘Nay, foul wind, this will not be the night of our extinguishment!’”

  27.  

    “Good work, Nightman. These art-lovers can practice sculpture themselves now… on the prison rock pile!

  28.  
    "I don't like dentists. They leave a false impression."
  29.  

    “Keep yoursalf away, far away from mehhhhh! Ah’ll forevar stay your pirfect enemehhhhh!

  30.  

    And I quote: “You anti-dentite bastard.”

  31.  

    “The setting sun spread out on the horizon like a lightly-poached egg.”

  32.  

    And I quote: “Did someone say, ‘Draco Malfoy’?”

  33.  

    “The memory rose up and hit him like a zombie with a grudge.”

  34.  

    “Connie started smoking drugs and drinking, and Connie’s sisters also started smoking drugs and drinking; so when Latawnya, the naughty horse, saw Connie smoking drugs and drinking, Latawnya started smoking drugs and drinking too.”

  35.  

    “They were more than just reptile eyes. They were eyes you could drown in.”

  36.  

  37.  

    “Hurriedly we leapt into bed, abrasively shredding one another’s clothes off, still engrossed in that passionate embrace, forcing me to discharge erotic feeble grunts. You, mischievously, ran your fingers along my thigh, enticing me to circulate slow bouts of quiver, with each alluring me to delve further into our embrace.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeApr 26th 2010 edited
     

    B: “Um… how much of the hall did you vaccum? There’s like a metre left that’s covered in fluff”
    M: sigh “What would Jesus do?”
    B: “What?”
    M: “Verily, taketh up unto thee thy vaccum wherewith thou cleanest; and do it your blessed self.”

  38.  

    And I quote: “A revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having.”

  39.  

    “Mother’s memetic legacy lives on in the Lifestream and makes it happen.”

  40.  

    •  
      CommentAuthorarska
    • CommentTimeApr 27th 2010
     

    “I may be Nobody, but Nobody is perfect”
    ^ Dear Ryn, I love you SO SO MUCH.

  41.  

    “Someday, we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction.”

  42.  

    “Also, I can kill you with my brain.”

  43.  

    “These freaking plates! They’re always in my way! Look at me! I’m a plate! And I’m in the way!”

    •  
      CommentAuthorarska
    • CommentTimeApr 28th 2010
     

    “Sorry, folks — there’s no way I can top last week’s ComicsNix’s epic, except with another ComicsNix story. They certainly exist, but I’d prefer to space them out — save them as special treats rather than just burn through them all. They’re to be savored, in my opinion.”
    HOW TRUE THOU ART!!!

  44.  

    “If, at any time, Bayonetta actually begins to make sense to you, please seek counseling immediately.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorarska
    • CommentTimeApr 29th 2010 edited
     

    This is just a little update on the “Me” entry i wrote when i first started. Just some things i didnt say before.

    Name: Snow Everscene I changed my last name by law.*
    Age: __years old. never ask a girl that. lol
    Fave color: Black, purple, blue, white
    Birthday: Feb.14
    What i look like: long balck hair with bangs that cover my eyes, light grey eyes, athletic body/nice tits and ass (lol), straight white teeth/sharp with what look like fangs, small full lips/they look kinda like miley cyrus’s lips, dimples, average hieght and weight for a __ year old.
    Best friend: no one. I never told any one every thing.
    Biggest fantasy: to be a really hot vampire.
    Small thought: I think im a lil emo but not so much.
    fave thing to do: write and read
    fave subject: ELA
    worst cut: my knee, got stitches
    fave song: pure white lace By eyes set to kill
    likes: chocolate, sneakers, games, boys, eyes set to kill, vampires
    dislikes: twissilers, high heels, strawberry ice cream, britney spears, wanna be’s, alomst all girls.

    idk what else to put. i was just bored.
    Tell me what you like and so on. Add anything you want. Its only if you want to. no forcing you. i cant believe im this bored. lol. ttyl ppl. “

    (lol, geddit, coz she’s goffik?)

    A/n if you don’t know who eyes set to kill is, get da hell outta here, prepz!!11!1

    ^I could not resist that. COULD NOT.

  45.  

    “’Wheenk wheenk wheenk,’ said Jayjay to Thuy, layering thoughts onto the words to make a hyperpun. Wheenk like a piglet, obviously, but also wheenk like a squeaky wheel, an unhappy wheel asking for oil, Jayjay-the-wheel longing both for the metaphorical anointment of Thuy’s affection and for the literal lubrications of her aromatic bod. Not to mention that wheenk wheenk wheenk was a term Thuy liked to use to describe metanovels in which the characters spent, in her opinion, too much time bitching and moaning, and not enough time doing and loving.”

  46.  

    And I quote: “The author wants to thank God. ‘Thank you God.’”

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeApr 30th 2010
     

    And I quote:

    “You where told that was what we where doing, we can prove it with call recordings, therefore I cannot prove you where mislead”

  47.  

    “In the face of the amorphos, broad breated female, stretched out aluringly before his gaping eyes; the universal whim of nature filing a plea of despair inside of his white hot soul; Grignr acted in the only manner he could perceive.”

  48.  

    “The moral of TAKEN: Daddy knows best. Don’t make daddy kill a shitload of foreigners and then say “I told you so.”“

  49.  

    “All knowledge of measuring time had escaped Grignr. When a person is deprived of the sun, moon, and stars, he looses all conception of time as he had previously understood it. It seemed as if years had passed if time were being measured by terms of misery and mental anguish, yet he estimated that his stay had only been a few days in length. He has slept three times and had been fed five times since his awakening in the crypt. However, when the actions of the body are restricted its needs are also affected. The need for nourishmnet and slumber are directly proportional to the functions the body has performed, meaning that when free and active Grignr may become hungry every six hours and witness the desire for sleep every fifteen hours, whereas in his present condition he may encounter the need for food every ten hours, and the want for rest every twenty hours. All methods he had before depended upon were extinct in the dismal pit. Hence, he may have been imprisoned for ten minutes or ten years, he did not know, resulting in a disheartened emotion deep within his being.”

  50.  

    Now I know that Grignr needs feeding only every 10 hours. Useful, if I ever act upon the impulse to imprison him forever.

  51.  

    “Encircling the marble altar was a congregation of leering shamen. Eerie chants of a bygone age, originating unknown eons before the memory of man, were being uttered from the buried recesses of the acolytes’ deep lings. Orange paint was smeared in generous globules over the tops of thw Priests’ wrinkled shaven scalps, while golden rings projected from the lobes of their pink ears. Ornate robes of lusciour purple satin enclosed their bulging torsos, attached around their waists with silvered silk lashes latched with ebony buckles in the shape of morose mis-shaped skulls. Dangling around their necks were oval fashoned medalions held by thin gold chains, featuring in their centers blood red rubys which resembled crimson fetish eyeballs. Cushoning their bare feet were plush red felt slippers with pointed golden spikes projecting from their tips.”

  52.  

    “The vodka martini: 2010s creative fuel or 1950s wifebeating fuel? We shall see.”

  53.  

    J: “What are you reading?”
    H: “Catcher in the Rye. I’m named after it.”
    J: “So what’s your name?”
    H: Blank stare.
    J: “Catcher?”

  54.  

    “The startled priest released his crushing grip, crimping his body over at the waist overlooking his recessed belly; wide open in a deep chasim. His face flushed to a rose red shade of crimson, eyelids fluttering wide with eyeballs protruding blindly outwards from their sockets to their outmost perimeters, while his lips quivered wildly about allowing an agonized wallow to gust forth as his breath billowed from burning lungs. His hands reached out clutching his urinary gland as his knees wobbled rapidly about for a few seconds then buckled, causing the ruptured shaman to collapse in an egg huddled mass to the granite pavement, rolling helplessly about in his agony.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeMay 1st 2010
     

    “there are only three Star Wars movies. THREE.”
    “Huh. I thought there were 11 movies. Star Wars: The Motion Picture, Star Wars II: The Wrath of Khan, Star Wars III: The Search for Spock, and so on.”

  55.  

    And I quote: “If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.”

    -a gravestone I saw

  56.  

    “Lady Ramkin’s bosom rose and fell like an empire.”

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeMay 3rd 2010
     

    Like an empire…? 0.o

    “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” – Albert Einstein

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeMay 3rd 2010
     

    “Delicious schadenfreude was passed about like slices of pizza.”

  57.  

    “All in all, it had the look about it of a room that is only ever occupied by one person, and has been absentmindedly molded around them over the years, like a suit of clothes with a ceiling.”

    @No One

    Like an empire…? 0.o

    Yeah. Empires rise and fall. That’s the joke.

  58.  

    @ Taku – Haha, that’s a good one.

  59.  

    And I quote: “I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.”
    -Albert Einstein

  60.  

    “Prime Minister Batman is tired and would like to go to bed now.”

  61.  

    “You would think that Lucas could think of a better reason than NO REASON AT ALL for Anakin to want to turn on his master. Oh, wait. No. You wouldn’t.”

  62.  

    “The British knee is firm. The British knee is muscular! The British knee IS ON THE MARCH!

  63.  

    “it would be kinda cool though to see an army of ewoks against the gungan army. who wins? the death star above the planet after it blows them all to hell.”

  64.  

    And I quote: “You don’t have a suicide. It has you.”

  65.  

    “What do you get when you cross a GPS & PMS? An angry woman that will hunt your ass down.”

  66.  

    “A permanent possibility of selfishness arises from the mere fact of having a self, and not from any accidents of education or ill-treatment. And the weakness of all Utopias is this, that they take the greatest difficulty of man and assume it to be overcome, and then give an elaborate account of the overcoming of the smaller ones. They first assume that no man will want more than his share, and then are very ingenious in explaining whether his share will be delivered by motor-car or balloon.”

  67.  

    “Your BS is someone else’s brilliance.”

  68.  

    “The commercial value of nanotech stems from the simple fact that the laws of physics don’t apply at the molecular level.”

  69.  

    T: “My sister Nebbie can pick me up.”
    C: “Nebbie? Don’t you mean ‘Debbie’?”
    T: “No, Nebbie. It’s short for Nebula. Nebula Stop-The-War Lawrence.”

  70.  

    Boy Meets World!

  71.  

    Whatever happened to Nebbie anyway? It was like she disappeared immediately after that episode.

  72.  

    Yeah, later I think they say Topanga is an only child. Shawn had a sister too (Stacey, she wasn’t seen, but she gave Shawn the stuff to straighten Cory’s hair).

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeMay 8th 2010
     

    “To the empowerage of words.”

    “To the irony of that sentence.”

    Loving Community so far.

  73.  

    “A cab overlies knotted porno wonk, all reattaching a trillionth pewter trump jamboree! “Cancel” converts lumpy gym think-mitts, vatted Sandman. Hitler concots herpes.”