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  1.  

    Oh, no doubt.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJul 8th 2013
     

    “Her body stiffened against his, and he felt a strange emotion within her: a sense of impending momentousness.”

    THIS IS THE SINGLE BEST QUOTE FROM THE ENTIRE INHERITANCE CYCLE.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeJul 13th 2013
     

    And I quote: “That’s when you know you’ve found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.”

    —Mia

  2.  

    Pulp Fiction!

    •  
      CommentAuthorResistance
    • CommentTimeJul 13th 2013
     
    And I quote: "No!"

    - Gloria Tesch
    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJul 15th 2013
     
    And I quote: "If you took all the fish and chips eaten in North London on a Friday night, they would reach out... and take them back."


    I wish I could remember the comedian who said this. It's either Sean lock of Lee Mack, I think.
  3.  

    “Screw writing “strong” women. Write interesting women. Write well-rounded women. Write complicated women. Write a woman who kicks ass, write a woman who cowers in a corner. Write a woman who’s desperate for a husband. Write a woman who doesn’t need a man. Write women who cry, women who rant, women who are shy, women who don’t take no shit, women who need validation and women who don’t care what anybody thinks. THEY ARE ALL OKAY, and all those things could exist in THE SAME WOMAN. Women shouldn’t be valued because we are strong, or kick-ass, but because we are people. So don’t focus on writing characters who are strong. Write characters who are people.”
    — Words of great wisdom on strong female characters~ by madlori (via laughingskeleton)

    I just got this of of tumblr.

  4.  

    Armourer — you may find this and this instructive

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJul 17th 2013
     

    I <3 Kate Beaton’s Strong Female Characters. They are the best. And by “best”, I mean “worst”.

    SEXISM IS OVER.

  5.  

    I <3 Kate Beaton’s everything

    ftfy

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJul 17th 2013
     

    I will accept that.

  6.  

    I love that quote, Armourer. I was actually considering writing an article on strong female characters along this line for the site, and then I got sidetracked. :P

    I <3 Kate Beaton’s Strong Female Characters. They are the best. And by “best”, I mean “worst”.

    Don’t forget the Straw Feminists in the Closet.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJul 19th 2013 edited
     

    I actually had forgotten about them! They are so wonderful.

    “You don’t want a training bra, little girl. You want all men in the world to be dead.”

  7.  

    ‘Worshiping a man?!’ rips up Justin Beiber poster

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJul 21st 2013
     

    AIQ:

    “Last night I dreamed I was the author of Lord of the Rings.

    I was Tolkien in my sleep.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorResistance
    • CommentTimeJul 21st 2013
     

    “Write drunk; edit sober.”
    ― Ernest Hemingway

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJul 23rd 2013
     

    “About Us” page gone horrible wrong:

    “Our success and growth has been made possible without the loyalty and support of our customers and suppliers.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJul 23rd 2013
     

    “It is entirely due to the efforts of our brilliant employee who will now be making a million dollars a year, TakuGifian.”

  8.  
    And I quote, "Here's Lady Gaga Without Her Lady Gaga Shit Glued to Her Head"

    --Cracked list item
  9.  

    BUT THE PROBLEM IS THAT WHEN IT COMES TO MOVIES WE HAVE THIS ODD HABIT OF THINKING THAT:

    1) WE ALL HAVE A LEVEL OF EXPERTISE JUST BECAUSE WE ARE AVID CONSUMERS.

    2) ACTUAL EXPERTS DON’T EXIST.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJul 28th 2013
     

    FILM CRIT HULK, I ASSUME?

    I rather like that quote, though. Could apply to an awful lot of things in life.

  10.  

    Bingo. It comes at the end of an extended comparison of storytelling to automobile repair. The essay it’s from is pretty excellent in general, as are most of his, presuming you can deal with the capslock.

  11.  

    And I quote:

    I begin tucking him into bed and he tells me, “Daddy check for monsters under my bed.” I look underneath for his amusement and see him, another him, under the bed, staring back at me quivering and whispering, “Daddy there’s somebody on my bed.”

    Reddit’s two-sentence horror stories

    And this one:

    Don’t be scared of the monsters, just look for them. Look to your left, to your right, under your bed, behind your dresser, in your closet but never look up, she hates being seen.

    EDIT:

    When that sounds seems to stop, you’ll know that you’ve been noticed.

    ...I like these too much.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeAug 9th 2013 edited
     

    Overheard on the bus:

    “One more crack and I’ll paralyse you from the neck down! You’ll have to eat through a straw, and get sponge baths from a fat German therapist named Georg!”

    edit: And I Quote Jimmy Carr: “If I did a Chinese accent now, it would smack of razy lacism.”

  12.  

    And I quote, “He rides on the back of a very large man who talks like a Pokemon.”

    —Screen Junkies’ description of Bran Stark from An Idiots Guide to Game of Thrones

  13.  

    And I Quote John Updike: “Families teach us how love exists in a realm above liking and disliking, coexisting with indifference, rivalry, and even antipathy.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeAug 16th 2013
     

    Inheriwiki (inheritance cycle) fanwank:

    Alagaësia (literally “fertile land”) has two different pronunciations.

    The first, incorrect, pronunciation given in the books of the Inheritance Cycle is “al-uh-GAY-zee-uh”. However, the sound of the “ë” in Alagaësia is an “EE” sound, so the real pronunciation is al-uh-ga-EE-zee-uh.

    It is stated by Christopher Paolini in the extended version of the Eragon movie that it is pronounced “al-uh-GAY-zee-uh,” because pronouncing it “al-uh-ga-ee-zee-uh” makes it too uptight and is like showing off one’s knowledge.

    More like showing off his ignorance.

  14.  

    And I quote, “It rubs the lotion on its skin.”

    I have had this quote stuck in my head all day. It’s weird and creepy, and it just won’t go away.

    Also, someone had the honest trailer voice say it once. It’s like an earworm that isn’t a song.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPotatoman
    • CommentTimeSep 6th 2013
     

    And I quote:

    Man shall not join what God has torn asunder.

    -Wolfgang Pauli.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeSep 6th 2013
     

    And I quote:

    Whether at Naishapur or Babylon,
    Whether the Cup with sweet or bitter run,
    The Wine of Life keeps oozing drop by drop,
    The Leaves of Life keep falling one by one.

    - Omar Khayyam, The Rubaiyat.

    •  
      CommentAuthorResistance
    • CommentTimeSep 13th 2013
     

    And I quote

    “The greats weren’t great because at birth they could paint, the greats were great because they paint a lot,”

    - Macklemore

    I think this applies exactly to writing.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeSep 18th 2013 edited
     

    And I Quote

    “Office workers read the story of Sisyphus and roll their eyes. Dieters read the story of Tantalus and eye their rolls.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorPotatoman
    • CommentTimeSep 20th 2013
     

    And I quote:

    What’s the difference between chopped beef and pea soup? Everybody can chop beef, but nobody can pea soup!

    -Mung Daal.

  15.  

    “That’s the difference between a mythic or an inspirational story and wish fulfilment. A mythic hero embodies virtues to which you aspire, but which you know that you do not truly possess. A wish-fulfillment character has all of the same qualities you already have, but they work the way you want them to work instead of the way they really work. So your creepy inability to speak to women is transformed into an endearing shyness, your six months of kendo really does make you brilliant at fighting, and your nerdboy hobbies are the secret to saving the universe.”

  16.  

    Me: I got like no homework done this weekend it was awful.
    Professor: You mountain of sloth.

    • CommentAuthorDave
    • CommentTimeOct 8th 2013
     

    AIQ: “I knew it was you all along, Richard Nixon!”

  17.  

    And I quote: “If God were a piece of furniture, He would be this couch.”

    Allie Brosh

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeOct 19th 2013
     

    And I quote: “Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.’” —Dale Carnegie

    •  
      CommentAuthorResistance
    • CommentTimeOct 21st 2013 edited
     

    And I quote:
    “Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order.”
    ― Anne Wilson Schaef

    “Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won’t have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren’t even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they’re doing it.”
    ― Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeOct 25th 2013
     

    AND I Quote:

    “I used to have problems with my knees,” she said. “A lot of girls do.”

    Woooo!

    I don’t think the author even considered the subtext of that.

    • CommentAuthorDave
    • CommentTimeOct 25th 2013
     

    AIQ: “Private, if I ever see you walking around with your weapon not on safe, I will remove your soul from your body and rape it in the ass.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeOct 29th 2013
     

    AIQ:

    “but that’s neither here nor there because oppression is not a sport between the oppressed but a game rigged to the advantage of oppressors so get your head out your ass and involved in a thought pattern that elevates a conversation as opposed to spirals it down into ridiculous infighting”

    SO glad to read a SJW actually write this in a “conversation” about the similarities and differences between black and gay oppression.

  18.  

    And I quote, “You can’t take a picture of this. It’s already gone.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorlilyWhite
    • CommentTimeNov 13th 2013
     

    And I quote:

    Consciousness is the driver of evolution . Every time you eat a chicken or banana it transforms into a human

    Deepak Chopra

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeNov 16th 2013
     

    And I quote:

    “In the Gilberton clinic, you enter through a pretty arbor of ivy leading to a screen door, into a consulting room painted in cheerful white hues.”

    I don’t know about you, but the last bit — “cheerful white hues” — sticks out to me like a sore thumb. Since when did white have hues?

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeNov 16th 2013
     

    Only if you’re buying wedding dresses, I think.

  19.  

    And I quote”

    “Morgan La Fey was a total ho-bag”
    -My ancient English Lit professor

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeNov 17th 2013
     

    And I quote:

    “If God is not jacking it, there is no sunrise!”

    presented completely out of context just for the unintentional(?) imagery.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeNov 21st 2013 edited
     

    Presented with absolutely no context whatsoever:

    Mormonism just makes financial sense.

    Actually the context doesn’t change it much.

    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeNov 21st 2013
     

    I don’t think there’s any context in which that statement would make sense.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeNov 22nd 2013
     

    Maybe in the context of the leader of a Mormon church, yes. Or the Director/CEO of the Mormon megamall in Salt Lake.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeNov 22nd 2013
     

    AIQ:

    Me, to my brother: Are you eating here tonight?

    Brother: I think so

    Me: Let us chips.

    Brother: Yes, we shall chips.

    My brother and I have an… unorthodox way with words.

  20.  

    And I quote: “I would ask you to be bridesmaid, but of course you’re far too fat. Smiley face.”

    —David Mitchell discussing the possible abuse of smiley faces.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeNov 24th 2013
     

    And I quote for truth:

    “With the arrogance of youth, I determined to do no less than to transform the world with Beauty. If I have succeeded in some small way, if only in one small corner of the world, amongst the men and women I love, then I shall count myself blessed, and blessed, and blessed, and the work goes on.”
    ― William Morris

    •  
      CommentAuthorResistance
    • CommentTimeNov 24th 2013
     

    And I quote “Don’t fear, The End is near!!”

    - the title of the sermon today.

  21.  

    And I quote: “Anna, you look absolutely radiant. Brenda, you’re looking perfectly acceptable. Clara… you’re also here.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorlilyWhite
    • CommentTimeNov 24th 2013
     

    And I quote:

    You will recommend Breaking Bad to everyone you know. “I will recommend Breaking Bad to everyone I know.”

    Breaking Bad is the best show you’ve ever seen, except maybe The Wire. “Breaking Bad is the best show I’ve ever seen, except maybe The Wire.”

    You will never stop talking about Breaking Bad or The Wire. “I will never stop talking about Breaking Bad or The Wire.”

    Family Guy

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeNov 29th 2013 edited
     

    I have a dirty mind. And I quote:

    “A large dong echoed around the room”

    ETA: “Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a gleaming plague”

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeDec 31st 2013
     

    And I quote:

    Facebook friend: “a good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything. ~ Irish proverb”
    Other facebook friend: “except potato famine.”

    • CommentAuthorNossus
    • CommentTimeDec 31st 2013
     

    And I quote:

    “Fuck tha Police”

  22.  

    And I quote, “Little Lord Fuck Pants… Whose moniker is that?”

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJan 25th 2014
     

    And I quote:

    “If thy must keep the child, methinks thine shouldst care for it thouself.”

    From a “medieval”-based fanfic. Methinks the author dost read The Inheritance Cycle overmuch.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJan 27th 2014 edited
     

    If thou must keep the child, methinks thou shouldst care for it thyself.

    That bothered me sufficiently that I couldn’t let it go by without fixing it. “Methinks” seems kind of weird still, but in context maybe it made sense.

    Thy and thine are possessive and thouself isn’t even a word. You’re literally saying “your own self”, as in “your own self, your body, whatever, should care for the child”, so why would the nominative case be in there? The reflexive pronoun in English is basically possessive + “self”. (except in the case of “himself”, but even then, some dialects say “hisself”)

    So to translate it into using “you”, it would read: If your must keep the child, methinks yours shouldst care for it youself.

    I’m also willing to bet they did not appropriately use “thou” to refer to children, close friends, subordinates, or as an insult, and especially not only in the singular. (Although if they did use it only for the singular, the argument could be made (poorly) that they’re trying to reflect Middle English rather than Modern English. But that seems unlikely, and late Middle English had already made the transition to using “you” as the singular anyway.)

    /Englishrant

  23.  

    “A lion doesn’t concern himself with the opinions of a sheep.”

    -Richard Sherman, quoting Tywin Lannister

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeFeb 4th 2014 edited
     

    “men! how are they even a thing? they are the human equivalent of toxic waste. most of the things they think or say is absolute vomit.”

    Lovely.

    eta: (unrelated)

    there’s got to be some sewing of wild oats.

    tee hee.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeFeb 4th 2014
     

    “men! how are they even a thing? they are the human equivalent of toxic waste. most of the things they think or say is absolute vomit.”

    But but but I like men.

    Clearly I am a bad sort-of feminist.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeFeb 5th 2014
     

    “It tastes like somebody said ‘chocolate’ in the other room.”

    That’s possibly the most appropriate description of “artificial chocolate flavouring” I’ve ever heard.

  24.  

    And I quote, “Well, in the future, I’ll ask that you extend to me the same courtesy you would a crack addict.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeFeb 5th 2014
     

    I desperately want context for that one.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeFeb 9th 2014
     

    My favourite part of the Nye/Ham debate:

    “And the is a place from whence, or rather, whence, these things expanded” ~ Bill Nye

    Correct word use makes me happy. Even more when someone takes the time to fix a mistake.

    • CommentAuthorNossus
    • CommentTimeFeb 9th 2014
     

    But but but I like men.

    I’m a man, do you like me?

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeFeb 9th 2014
     

    I’m a man, do you like me?

    And I Quote:

  25.  

    I desperately want context for that one.

    Mine?

    Tried to find a clip, but no luck. Here’s part of a transcript, though.

    From The Sopranos:

    • CommentAuthorDave
    • CommentTimeFeb 9th 2014
     

    “I’m Marshal Eastwood, Clint Eastwood. This is Walker, he’s a Texas Ranger.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2014
     

    From a job ad:

    Short listed candidates will be shortlisted.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeMar 1st 2014
     

    From an argument between myself and a rambling, barely-coherent Creationist with only a conversational understanding of English:

    I am a christian so I will defend my fellow christian Ray Comfort.

    You are an idiot who couldn’t defend Alcatraz from an army of Junior Surf Life Savers armed with Nerf guns.

    How bout do vegies affect your mind? A slice of carrot, of broccoli, and of many vegies? Have a dangling salad then

    I am… unsure what a “dangling” salad is, or from what it is dangling.

  26.  

    And I quote (my favorite English professor):

    “We create things in order to taste immortality.”

    • CommentAuthorDave
    • CommentTimeMar 1st 2014
     

    “Dave! People die when they are killed.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeMar 2nd 2014
     

    From the blog of a white, middle-aged, middle-class Christian American man:

    “My issue is that with every passing year of my life I am made more and more aware that I am competing in a game where every other race, creed, culture, ethnicity, religion, and gender not my own is given a grossly unfair advantage…. and every last one of them is STILL screaming at me, demanding I give them a leg up. I am expected to start out last in line, lowest on the ladder, with one hand tied behind my back and with a fifty point disadvantage and a hundred point handicap for no other reason than some vague appeal to guilt that my long-dead ancestors supposedly accumulated in my name.”

    Yes, this is real.

  27.  

    And I quote (my favorite English professor):

    “Buying your first vacuum cleaner and being excited about it is a harbinger of senescence. “

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeMar 11th 2014
     

    AIQ:

    “science cross-references. Religion references the cross.”

    • CommentAuthorDave
    • CommentTimeMar 11th 2014
     

    Religion references the cross.

    Except for all the ones that don’t :p

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeMar 11th 2014
     

    Most of them reference some kind of intersection between perpendicular lines.

    •  
      CommentAuthorResistance
    • CommentTimeMar 12th 2014
     

    Religion references the cross.

    Along those lines, my history textbook tried to tell me about the “Christian-founded rule” of “do unto others what you would have them do unto you.” Last time I checked my Bible, I don’t think anyone commanded that. Or even said that.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeMar 12th 2014
     

    On that note, something I think you guys will appreciate: I saw some guy on Reddit today say this:

    The God created by Christianity established himself as an Authoritarian in the Book of Job

    Not like the book of Job severely predates Christ or anything…

  28.  

    And I quote: “This is how I thought of it, for though I’ve often lost faith in myself, I’ve never lost it in my family, in my certainty that we are fundamentally better than everyone else.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorlilyWhite
    • CommentTimeMar 12th 2014
     

    And I quote:

    Common clairvoyant instances include:
    ...
    • You lose your keys or wallet. Then, a picture of the place where you left the item flashes into your mind.

  29.  

    Common clairvoyant instances include:
    ...
    • You lose your keys or wallet. Then, a picture of the place where you left the item flashes into your mind.

    Also known as “remembering things.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeMar 13th 2014
     

    remembering things is clearly a superpower.

    We are all potentially superheroes, without even knowing it.

    Last time I checked my Bible, I don’t think anyone commanded that. Or even said that.

    It’s actually a Jewish tradition that Christians retained within the orthodox old testament, and summarised in the Talmud: “That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. That is the whole Torah; the rest is the commentary thereof; go and learn it.”

    Jesus did quote it directly, but he also attributed it to Moses and the prophets, acknowledging that it is older than himself and therefore older than the Christian establishment.

    Also known as the Golden Rule of Reciprocity, and features in plenty of religious texts (read: every religion that ever wrote stuff down) that predate Christianity by an amusing amount.

    •  
      CommentAuthorResistance
    • CommentTimeMar 15th 2014
     

    ““That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow.”

    The textbook was talking about Confucianism, and they said that the Confucius had the principle of “do not do unto others which you would not want done unto you”, the “opposite of the Christian principle”. If the Jewish Christian-retained principle is “that which is hateful to you . . .” and most religions have the Golden Rule, why couldn’t they just said Confucius’ principle was opposite of the Golden Rule?

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeMar 15th 2014
     

    It’s not the “opposite”, it’s simply the negative rephrasing.

    And the Confucian principle came from Buddhist texts, “... a state that is not pleasing or delightful to me, how could I inflict that upon another?” and later “One should seek for others the happiness one desires for himself”, which comes from Hindu texts in the form “This is the sum of duty; do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you.”, and which is reflected in Taoism “Regard your neighbor’s gain as your gain, and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss.”.

    So yeah, almost every religion has the golden rule, including African, Greek, American Indian and Egyptian philosophies.

    •  
      CommentAuthorlilyWhite
    • CommentTimeMar 24th 2014
     

    And I quote:

    Remember though that Hitler wasn’t all that bad. I mean, he killed Hitler, after all.

  30.  

    And I quote:

    If you love something, set it free.

    If it returns, it probably can’t pay its student loans.

    —Cracked comment

  31.  

    And I quote: “Yet to be alive in the West, to be alive in modern society, is to win a massive lottery you didn’t even know you’d entered.”

    —AV Club review of a Sopranos episode.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeOct 5th 2014
     

    Love, love is a verb
    Love is a doing word

    —Teardrop (Massive Attack)

  32.  
    "Behold the field wherein my fucks grow; see that it is barren."
  33.  

    ^^ That’s great. What’s it from?

    •  
      CommentAuthorPotatoman
    • CommentTimeOct 14th 2014
     

    And I quote:

    What do you call a short psychic on the run from the cops? A small medium at large.

    - Some joke I read somewhere. Possibly in Reader’s Digest.

    • CommentAuthorDave
    • CommentTimeNov 17th 2014
     

    “Well, well, it’s my overachieving doppelganger. You’re no match for Canadian Satan!”

  34.  

    And I quote:

    “My son got this for your birthday. He took a payday loan from the toothfairy.”