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  1.  

    “dumb ass will learn ,”

    -Shadow

    •  
      CommentAuthorInkblot
    • CommentTimeJun 12th 2012
     

    TGT? It’s tgt isnt it

  2.  

    And I quote: You’d better get me something nice from Europe…a hot metal guy would be nice.

    - my elder sister

    •  
      CommentAuthorInkblot
    • CommentTimeJun 12th 2012
     

    As in a Finnish speed metal lead?

    The absurdly long hair isn’t a problem?

    •  
      CommentAuthorsansafro187
    • CommentTimeJun 12th 2012 edited
     

    TGT? It’s tgt isnt it

    What else could such greatness be from?

    e: more tgt greatness

    “i like to read while i think, your idea is good but its not quite there yet, this plan is getting more filled but still needs a lot of planning and work done to it. but even if we plan everything to the last detail right, we still need to execute it, and that might be hard”

    -The Incredible Hulk

  3.  

    I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries.
    -Stephen King

    I love him so much.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJun 13th 2012
     

    @Sansa – that’s pretty good.

  4.  

    “Chain of command, Sobatka. In this unit, we’re all about the peanut butter cups.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJun 25th 2012
     

    Justice League has some of the best lines.

    Tala: Lex… don’t talk to the rock…

    Flash in Lex’s body is leaving the bathroom
    Dr. Polaris: Ahem. You gonna wash your hands?
    Flash-as-Lex: No… because I’m evil.

    Flash-as-Lex: My fellow bad guys! I, Lex Luthor, your leader, will speak now about my, Lex Luthor’s, plan. My villainous, villainous plan. Question the plan at your peril! Uh… any questions?

    Lex-as-Flash: If nothing else, I can at least learn the Flash’s secret identity! pulls off mask ...I have no idea who this is.

    I should rewatch episodes of this more often!

  5.  

    My brother always used to watch that show, and I watched maybe three episodes with him. The Lex/Flash body swap episode is the only one I still remember specifically, because even without much background, it was hilarious.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJun 25th 2012
     

    The DCAU is kinda infamous for getting crap past the radar. Every single episode, I swear…

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJun 25th 2012
     

    getting crap past the radar

    My favourite example has to be the hilariously innuendo-laden Birds of Prey song.

    “Aquaman’s always courageous, his little fish, less outrageous…”

  6.  

    “A little off topic of the group, but anybody know where you would go about selling a rattlesnake? And if you need a permit or something?”

    -One of the guys I play Magic with, in a facebook group about playing Magic.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJun 28th 2012
     

    “There’s a very fine line between not listening and not caring. I like to think I walk that line every day of my life.”

    Still pretty near my favorite Red vs. Blue line.

    • CommentAuthorSen
    • CommentTimeJul 3rd 2012
     

    “Dead plants with creamy goo. It’s like eating self-righteousness.”

    Leviathan!Sam and Dean were gone far too soon. They were not yet done being wonderful.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJul 3rd 2012
     

    It is an undeniable and may I say fundamental quality of man that when faced with extinction, every alternative is preferable.

    A wonderful sentiment. Unfortunately said by a terrible, terrible person.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJul 5th 2012
     

    “That Inspector thinks he’s something
    But it’s me who runs this town
    And my theatre never closes
    And the curtain’s never down”

    Reminds me of Shakespeare. Oh, wait.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJul 5th 2012
     

    Aha, I was able to successfully guess what that was from even without ever watching it. But then again, around here of late, you could probably guess “Les Mis” for anything and be right. :)

  7.  

    And I quote: “I’m going to marry my novels and have little short stories for children.”

  8.  

    “Because, you see, I don’t just want to be remembered for being in those bloody films, and I’m afraid that’s what’s going to happen to me.” – Richard Harris.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2012
     

    And I Quote:

    “Up next: Fifty Shades of Grey, saving Australian marriages!”

    - local news/opinion show, about how terribly-written pornographic Twilight fanfiction is “doing the foreplay” so the men don’t have to.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2012 edited
     

    Wat. How does that even make sense?

  9.  

    umwhat.

    Is that for real or like a parody news show?

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2012
     

    It’s real, sadly. Apparently reading it is getting women ‘in the mood’, so men don’t have to do the hard work of seducing them. Or stalking them.

  10.  

    Bad, rapey porn gets them in the mood?

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJul 12th 2012 edited
     

    ... apparently? Ugh.

    edit:

    AND I QUOTE:

    “How did you come to terms with it… the gay thing?”
    “I became the most powerful and feared supervillain on the planet. After that, ‘the gay thing’ really didn’t seem to matter”

    Heehee. That’s certainly one way to ‘deal with it’.

  11.  

    “We must get back to the TARDIS. This is a madhouse. It’s all full of Arabs.” – The Doctor proving to be a bit of a prick

  12.  

    And I quote: “Pressing his royal seal into the hot wax was his favorite part of being king, so far.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJul 23rd 2012
     

    And I quote: “Shotgun to the face is not a contingency plan. I keep telling you that.”

  13.  

    “It’s awesome, man!” – my dad, on Pink Floyd’s The Wall. I never heard him sound so 70s before, although the slight Indian accent kind of mitigated that.

    •  
      CommentAuthorInkblot
    • CommentTimeJul 30th 2012
     

    “You wanna know how I did it?! This is how I did it, Anton. I never saved anything for the swim back.” – Gattaca

    Remains among the most unutterably badass lines of all time.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 1st 2012
     

    I heard this quote on the radio today and instantly thought of how appropriate it is for II:

    It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation. —Herman Melville

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeAug 2nd 2012
     

    And I quote our sales rep:

    “Who pulled my Google wire? Somebody plug my Google wire back in! I can’t Google!”

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 2nd 2012
     

    Lolololol. Sounds like the boss from Dilbert.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeAug 7th 2012
     

    AIQ:

    “He recognised the tree, despite the frost that frosted the bark”.

    unimaginative, but efficient. XD

    • CommentAuthorDeborah
    • CommentTimeAug 10th 2012 edited
     

    Concubines. Ugly concubines. Mulan

    I’ve a girl at home who’s unlike any other—
    Yeah the only girl that likes him is his mother. Mulan, “A Girl Worth Fighting For.”

    KEEP YOUR TEMPER!—Cogsworth and Mrs. Potts, Beauty and the Beast.

  14.  

    Concubines. Ugly concubines.

    HAHA I remember seeing this part when I was little and not understanding it.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 11th 2012
     

    Proving yet again that the best part of Disney movies is rewatching them when you’re an adult and catching all the grown-up jokes.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeAug 12th 2012
     

    Sadly, I understood most of that scene when I saw it.

    Colin (a friend on another forum): “God made me an atheist. Who are you to challenge His will?”

    • CommentAuthorDeborah
    • CommentTimeAug 12th 2012 edited
     

    Yes, because you realize that one of the guys forgot to shave off his beard. And when they’re taking fruits . . . watermelons and apples . . . one of the guys takes an apple and a banana. Then they proceed to beat up the Huns, while still wearing dresses and makeup. Its hilarious.

  15.  

    “The North Cafeteria, named after Admiral William North, is located in the western portion of East Hall, gateway to the western half of North Hall, named not after William North but for its position above the South Wall. It is the most contested and confusing battlefield on Greendale’s campus, next to the English Memorial Spanish Center, named after English Memorial, a Portuguese sailor that discovered Greendale while searching for a fountain that cured syphilis.”

    Keith David apparently got that(as well as all his other lines) perfect in one take.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 16th 2012
     

    That is because Keith David is the man.

    Still seriously impressive, though!

    • CommentAuthorDeborah
    • CommentTimeAug 16th 2012
     

    Besides, HE HAS FRIENDS ON THE OTHER SIDE!

  16.  

    “I have no idea what you mean. There was a glee club at Greendale, and their bus was driving on a rainy night, and a downed power line was hanging across the road, and the bus drove through it, and it sliced through the bus and decapitated everyone, row by row, so that the people in the back had to watch all their friends get decapitated, then they got decapitated, and then the bus drove into a pool of lava. And I guess the crazy thing is, the electricity from the power line somehow kept their nervous systems ‘alive,’ so they could feel the lava. They didn’t escape the pain of the lava just because they didn’t have heads. They felt the lava. It was terrible but it was not metaphorical in any way. I would never be that petty and envious of another show’s popularity.” – Dan Harmon

  17.  
    "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet."
  18.  

    And I Quote Richard Brody:

    “Criticism is aesthetic philosophy practiced in a periodical or is in itself a literary performance”

    I would suggest this as a front page proverb but we are not a periodical. The idea here isn’t connected to a particular newspaper or magazine but rather that criticism is a short-term reaction to a form of artistic expression and should be done soon after the artistic expression has been consumed and not become belaboured.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeSep 6th 2012
     

    My APUSH teacher is awesome. And I quote: “(German accent) If the dishes are not done, THERE WILL BE SADNESS AND TEARS.”

  19.  

    What does APUSH stand for?

    And I Quote Gloria Jean Watkins, alias bell hooks:

    “The beloved community is not formed by the eradication of difference but by its
    affirmation, by each of claiming the identities and cultural legacies that shape who we are
    and how we live in the world….we do not surrender ties to precious origins. We deepen
    those bondings by connecting them with an anti-racist struggle”

  20.  

    APUSH = Advanced Parallel Universal Scientific History. It’s a speculative class that teaches students the fundamental ideas of parallel universes and how history could have changed based on small events. The final exam is in the form of a 10-page essay asking the writer how actions could have been changed to prevent World War II.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeSep 7th 2012
     

    Advanced Placement United States History. AP classes are a way to get college credits while still in high school by taking a standardized test. There’s a whole bunch in a lot of different categories. I think it’s an America-only thing?

  21.  

    Could you offer more context for the dire warnings about dishes? If your class was really about the Butterfly Effect, it might make sense. What historical events are dependent on dishes being done?

    Or in a history class, what difference does it make whether you do the dishes if you’re not Mary Mallon?

  22.  

    “Real ice cream eaters, don’t use a cup or a cone, we eat it with our bare hands. You’re not a REAL coffee drinker unless you drink it the way I do either, I pour the grounds into my mouth and pour hot water in to wash it down my throat. All you fancy cup holders are pussies.”

    —an internet comment responding to someone talking about what “real” coffee is.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeSep 11th 2012
     

    So, Mr. Bean was a brave pioneer of coffee-drinking etiquette.

  23.  

    And I Quote Rebecca West:
    “I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a door mat or a prostitute.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeSep 13th 2012
     

    “I have not had occasion here to mention my impatience with traditional piety, and my disdain for reverence where the object is anything supernatural. But I make no secret of them. It is not because I wish to limit or circumscribe reverence; not because I want to reduce or downgrade the true reverence with which we are moved to celebrate the universe, once we understand it properly… My objection to supernatural beliefs is precisely that they miserably fail to do justice to the sublime grandeur of the real world. They represent a narrowing-down from reality, an impoverishment of what the real world has to offer.”

    — Richard Dawkins, The Ancestor’s Tale.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeSep 13th 2012
     

    AIQ: “[Zombies] are like using the bathroom in a book: you can put it in, but you don’t have to.”

    On a discussion on the NaNo forums about whether or not a book can have zombies and not be considered horror.

  24.  

    @Orlando

    I just read an article for one of my classes that used that quote. Weird.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeSep 15th 2012
     

    AIQ:

    “I see your jazz-hands!”
    “Banana fritters deserve jazz-hands. Those were contextually-appropriate jazz-hands.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeSep 18th 2012
     

    AIQ: “The amount of heroine he shot up with had significantly increased.”

    I am now picturing the protagonist of this short story injecting, like, mini Princess Peaches into his veins.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeSep 21st 2012
     

    You’re not going to believe this one, guys. And I quote:

    “IT’S HOMO SAPIENS, NOT HETERO SAPIENS”

    ...

    ...

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeSep 21st 2012
     

    That annoys me almost as much as the teenage boys sniggering about “homogenous” and “heterogenous” mixtures in my high school chemistry class.

  25.  

    And I quote: “Your first draft is going to suck. It is going to be a suck-worthy suckfest full of suck. Accept it and move on.”

    —Snow White Queen

  26.  

    “the same 15 guys show up as last time, the veterans smoking, laughing, and telling stories, the newbies fidgeting. congratulations, the suits will tell one of them next week. we thought that of the entire group you were the most like hitler by far. it is a strange but understanding brotherhood, this small circle of hitler impersonators.”

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeSep 27th 2012
     

    AIQ:

    “Earth without art is just eh.”

    “The secret of joy in work is contained in one word – excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it.” – Pearl S. Buck

    “When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” – Henry Ford

  27.  

    And I quote JK Rowling on FSoG:

    “Think how many books I could have sold if Harry had been more creative with his wand.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeOct 5th 2012
     

    And I Quote:

    “Math needs to solve its OWN DAMN PROBLEMS, and stop looking for a handout.”

  28.  

    “This troperrecently (A few weeks ago) got into a….little fight with his longtime nemesis, last day of (high)school, he may not be coming(droping out, my nemesis, not me) back, revenge bluh bluh merger childish things. He decides to come at me with a meter stick with a rather intimidating war cry. I merely tilt my head ever so slightly and plunk, it hits the wall behind my head, visibly dumbfounded he then attempts to slash me. Big mistake, my headphones got unplugged from my Ipod touch, and my favorite song was just beginning. Nightwish’s song she is my sin and so begins my epic battle, he keeps slashing and lunging at me all while I dodge his blows and strokes. He attempts another headshot but I deftly grabbed it from him, he fell face first onto the floor, then I said one of my favorite badass boasts almost immediately afterword “On your knees…I want you to beg for forgiveness.” my class’s resident Video game gerd (Her own word she made, a combination of geek and nerd, she calls herself this all the time) said almost YELLING “Holy SHIT dude! That was awesome!” unfortunately his Girlfriend didnt think so, and tossed him the other meter stick and said “Kick that little snot into next year!”(Even though im taller then him he’s like 5’4 im 5’7) and we exchanged blows which was eerily similar to aboved mentioned Final Fantasy movie, I then disarmed him and then said, “I hold no ill will, nor is this a personal matter, but thanks for the workout non-the less.” He simply bowed his head in shame, his girlfriend having pure spasms of RAGE, chiding him that he couldn’t beat a video game playing ultimate geek face(highly immature for a 16 year old girl I know), but I couldn’t here them over the applause I was getting from the other geeks and my fellow peers, my teacher ( a substitute) woke up from her nap and simply said “what did I miss?” we all (except for my nemesis and his GF) begun laughing uncontrollably for a few minutes. I deadpanned afterwords “Nothing at all ma’am, just having some fun, listening to music, drawing, epic one sided battles…” She shrugged and went back to sleep.”

  29.  

    “the same 15 guys show up as last time, the veterans smoking, laughing, and telling stories, the newbies fidgeting. congratulations, the suits will tell one of them next week. we thought that of the entire group you were the most like hitler by far. it is a strange but understanding brotherhood, this small circle of hitler impersonators.”

    What is this from?

    And I quote: “We went to the moon to have fun, but the moon turned out to completely suck.”

  30.  

    I would bet it is from Tails Gets Trolled.

    And I Quote: “To protect others is to protect yourself.”

    And I Quote the Lord Chamberlain William Hastings:

    “O momentary grace of mortal men,
    Which we more hunt for than the grace of God!
    Who builds his hope in air of your fair looks,
    Lives like a drunken sailor on a mast,
    Ready, with every nod, to tumble down
    Into the fatal bowels of the deep.”

    And I Quote the Earl of Richmond:
    “True hope is swift, and flies with swallows’ wings;
    Kings it makes gods, and meaner creatures kings.”

    Lord Hastings, Queen Margaret, and Duke Clarence are the best.

  31.  

    And I quote: “When I meet people now and they all say, ‘God you’re so much shorter than I expected!’ I always say, ‘No! I’m actually slightly further away than you think’, which confuses them.”

    —Daniel Radcliffe

  32.  

    What is this from?

    Some years-old post on Something Awful. There was a whole thread of stuff written in this style about a circle of Hitler impersonators, but the original post was the funniest.

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeOct 25th 2012
     

    And I quote: “The girl took out a gun from her back pelvis and pointed it at the man in the ground.”

    I don’t even. Whut. No. Just… no.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeOct 25th 2012
     

    And I quote:

    Dear Ann Coulter,
    Come on Ms. Coulter, you aren’t dumb and you aren’t shallow.

    I love how optimistic this letter-writer is.

    The full letter, for those who haven’t seen it yet, is both inspiring and humbling

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeOct 25th 2012
     

    Her… back pelvis? Does she have two? And how exactly was the gun in—no, never mind, I don’t want to know.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeOct 28th 2012
     

    And I quote:

    “There was something eerily reassuring about an unholy terror screaming in unholy terror.”

  33.  

    Late, but somebody quoted me? Wow, thanks!

  34.  

    “That little Nutcracker dude that guards the house. I like how he just sits there and stays still. It’s pretty cool.”

    -Rob Gronkowski, when asked what the hell he was trying to emulate with his weird/hilarious marching touchdown celebration in London this past Sunday.

  35.  

    And I Quote: “We are drawn to the unescapable conclusion that Mr. Keeler writes his peculiar novels merely to satisfy his own undisciplined urge for creative joy.”

    Why else would you write your peculiar novels?

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeNov 1st 2012
     

    Why else does anybody write novels?

    Also, “unescapable”? Is that verbatim?

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeNov 6th 2012
     

    And I quote, “Sly lips decorated across her cheeks.”

    But what does it mean, random girl in my creative writing class?!

  36.  

    It means she has mouths all over her face.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSoupnazi
    • CommentTimeNov 6th 2012
     

    Only the use of “decorated across” makes it look like “decorated” is being used as a verb, so I wonder who’s doing the decorating? Or is it the lips themselves?

  37.  

    Your creative writing is filled with…interesting people, swenson.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeNov 6th 2012
     

    It’s often the same bunch. There’s this one little corner of the room where the Criminal Minds fanfic girl sits and the Hetalia fanfic girl sits (yep, she wrote another one for this week… I haven’t even looked at the thing yet and I already dislike it) and I think the Vampire-Werewolf-Witch-Archer-Guardian Mary Sue To End All Mary Sues girl sits over there too. Another girl over there also writes vampire/werewolf stuff, but it’s actually pretty fair writing, so I give it a pass.

    • CommentAuthorDanielle
    • CommentTimeNov 6th 2012
     

    And I quote:

    (hidden for possible politics)

    •  
      CommentAuthorSoupnazi
    • CommentTimeNov 6th 2012
     

    O_O I wasn’t aware anybody would actually do that. Whoa.

    • CommentAuthorDanielle
    • CommentTimeNov 6th 2012
     

    I knew there were people who voted that way, but I never expected them to say so out loud….and to say it so casually.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeNov 6th 2012
     

    Meh. I know Mormons who are voting for Romney simply because he’s a Mormon. People are going to vote for people who relate to them, and that includes everything from the color of their skin to their religious beliefs.

  38.  

    There’s a reason we tell people to get out and vote, not to “inform yourself on the issues and then get out and vote.”

  39.  

  40.  

    Make of this what you will.

    That’s not substantially outside the range of black voting behavior even when the Democratic candidate is white. There are lots of contributing factors to why that is the case, but this isn’t really the place to get into that.

  41.  

    And I quote: “Moving to Canada when your candidate loses is like a 5 year old running away to the next door neighbor’s because they got grounded.”

  42.  

    “Moving to Canada when your candidate loses is like a 5 year old running away to the next door neighbor’s because they got grounded.”

    Mm, I highly doubt that will be happening this time around, anyway.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeNov 7th 2012
     

    Oh my word, don’t tell me people are pulling out the old “moving to Canada” line again…

    It gets even better when Republicans are saying it. Last time I checked, Canada’s government is a wee bit more liberal than the US’s.

    •  
      CommentAuthorKyllorac
    • CommentTimeNov 7th 2012
     

    Last time I checked, Canada’s government is a wee bit more liberal than the US’s.

    More like a lot. Or so my Canadian friends tell me.

  43.  

    And I quote: “No one asks where what they want comes from; they just want it.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2012
     

    AND I QUOTE the editorial section of a local newspaper:

    “Robert Pattinson has shocked the entertainment industry by staying with his vital, strong-willed and talented girlfriend Kristen Stewart.”

    Not sure if sincere or sarcastic.

    Because three words when you think of Kristen Stewart are “vital’, “strong-willed”, and “talented”.

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2012
     

    ^This sounds more like something from one of those gossip magazines.

    And I quote: “He stared down at the label as if deep in thought about the meaning of Cheerios.” – an k-pop fan fiction where this guy was getting high on drugs.

    No, it’s not some dirty fan fiction. Just a k-pop version of Doctor Who where the Cheerios guy basically drives a bus all over time and space and trying out just about everything, including drugs and cinnamon rolls.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2012
     

    Well, she’s alive, so I suppose a sense of the word “vital” works.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSoupnazi
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2012
     

    And given the amount of hate she gets for being somewhat anti-social, “strong-willed” seems acceptable.