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    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJun 5th 2011
     

    “Anyone who has to pay for college is too stupid to be allowed to go.”

    WHAT?

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeJun 5th 2011
     

    ... Where did that quote come from?

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJun 5th 2011
     

    Some guy’s rant about how the entire world (except him) are functionally retarded and everything is going to hell because nobody will listen to his brilliant economic theories, and yet he was still banned from a particular Live journal community for being an arse, so CLEARLY all the members of that community are too stupid to walk in a straight line, let alone keep up with their finances at the same time as not winning the Darwin Awards.

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeJun 5th 2011
     

    O…kay… sounds like a real jerk. =_=”

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJun 5th 2011
     

    Um… WHAT?

    That’s… retarded. I cant even think of words to explain how stupid of an idea that is. If you’re lucky enough to get a scholarship, congratulations! I’m very happy for you; that’s how I’m attending college myself! But that doesn’t mean everyone else is automatically an idiot.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSharkonian
    • CommentTimeJun 5th 2011 edited
     

    Yeah, I’m going to agree with that: WHAT?

    It seems (s)he didn’t take in consideration that there are scholarships for EVERYTHING. There are scholarships for being left-handed, and the hand you use to write with doesn’t say much about how intelligent you are.

    Anyways, back to quotes: From the Man in the Iron Mask. :D

  1.  

    “Anyone who has to pay for college is too stupid to be allowed to go.”

    EXCUSE ME?

    HELLO I’M WORKING LIKE HELL TO GET THROUGH COLLEGE YOU IDIOT. I FREAKING HATE YOU.

    cough

    Done ranting. But good God…facepalm wht an idiot.

  2.  

    Yeah, fuck this guy.

  3.  

    That guy sucks.

    And back to quotes:

    “What do we say to the god of death?”
    “Not today.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorSharkonian
    • CommentTimeJun 8th 2011
     

    I was born, much to my suprise, at a very young age, and haven’t since achieved anything of note.

    -TakuGifian

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJun 9th 2011
     

    Hooray! I was quoted! I can’t remember saying that, but oh well.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSharkonian
    • CommentTimeJun 9th 2011
     

    http://impishidea.com/forum/comments.php?DiscussionID=676

    In there, it’s near the end.

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeJun 9th 2011 edited
     

    I like that quote. :D Made me burst out laughing in the school library.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJun 9th 2011
     

    Oh, I remember now. Hah.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSharkonian
    • CommentTimeJun 9th 2011
     

    Nauughty

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJun 9th 2011
     

    Oh my, it blinks. Did not realize that until I looked away and suddenly… it moved.

  4.  

    “A mule kicked Uncle Bob once. Broke his ribs. He punched it in the face.. My point? You have an ingrown fucking toenail. Stop bitching.”
    —shitmydadsays

  5.  

    “I have never let school interfere with my education.”

    “Whether we like it or not, the reality is that the 4 year college degree is what used be the high school diploma.”

  6.  

    “You want it to be one way… but it’s the other way.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorSharkonian
    • CommentTimeJun 23rd 2011 edited
     

  7.  

    “What if we still can’t find it?”

    “Then we put out a photo of Royce at a motel with a dead girl and a live boy.”

  8.  

    “Who cares about friendship?! Right? It’s so dumb! Take what you can get from people and move on!” – Dan Green

    •  
      CommentAuthorSharkonian
    • CommentTimeJun 28th 2011
     

    The man’s a virgin. A celibate virgin. When I was a virgin, I didn’t give a shit about condoms or catching STDs because I wasn’t having the S part of the TD in the first place. I would have killed to find out what an STD was so I could brag that I had it. As far as condoms, they scare the shit out of me still. Fuck em.

    •  
      CommentAuthorCurly
    • CommentTimeJul 13th 2011
     

    ... This comes from a desire to make the contents of the book as worthwhile and unpatronizing as possible (‘patronizing’, of course, means ‘to talk down to people’).

    •  
      CommentAuthorInkblot
    • CommentTimeJul 13th 2011 edited
     

    Cadaver, what is this from?
    “Has Azaz agreed to it?” The Mathemagician inquired.
    I’m curious. I love logic puzzles.

    And I quote, “One man with courage is a majority.” -Andrew Jackson. One of my favorites.

    •  
      CommentAuthorCurly
    • CommentTimeJul 13th 2011
     

    Did you see that?! I just tore that guy’s f*** ing arm clean off! This is the BEST ACTION SEQUENCE EVER

    •  
      CommentAuthorSharkonian
    • CommentTimeJul 13th 2011
     

    Cadaver, what is this from?

    The Phantom Tollbooth. :D

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJul 17th 2011
     

    “Don’t you understand? I already have a plan; I’m waiting for my real life to begin.”

  9.  

    “Her cheeks were rosy and so was my love – bursting with fragrance and softness.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorkoolaroo
    • CommentTimeJul 17th 2011
     
    "All your base are belong to us." -CATS
  10.  

    FUCK YOU AND YOUR BOURGEOIS “GO TO BED”! WE WILL NEVER GO TO BED! WE ARE CHICKENS OF THE REVOLUTION! WE SPIT ON YOUR REPRESSIVE CURFEW!”

    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeJul 18th 2011
     

    “Somewhere between diplomacy and war there is the Diogenes Club.” – Charles Beauregard, Anno Dracula

  11.  

    “I am the duck transcendent. Mine is the quack of storms.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJul 23rd 2011
     

    I was talking to Cleverbot today, and came up with this:

    User: Do you like My Little Pony?

    Cleverbot: Yes. Everyone should like My Little Pony.

    sniff Cleverbot, I think I love you.

  12.  

    Bean: I’ve got a solution to all our country’s problems.

    Me: Oh?

    Bean: Sure. We just have to nuke the entire place.

    Me: But then we’ll all be dead!

    Bean: Yes, but we won’t have any problems, will we?

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeJul 23rd 2011
     

    A secret makes a woman, woman.

  13.  

    “They try to make me go to rehab. I said, ‘No, No, No.’”

  14.  

    “I am only a teenager. I don’t have a boyfriend and when I went once to the movie theater and was holding hands with a very nice boy from the neighborhood and Joey told my parents about it, you should have seen my father. He got so angry that he forbid me to set my foot into any movie theater alone and made his final decision that our family will not install the ‘internet’ in our house, if you understand what I mean. We have only local television in our home and I am dreaming about my own cell phone. Everybody in my class has one, except me. I feel that I am cut off from the real world. I am alone! I have nobody! I am sitting here in this dirty swamp and listen to a grasshopper.”

  15.  

    “When the going gets tough, you don’t need a criminal lawyer, you need a criminal lawyer.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorSharkonian
    • CommentTimeJul 23rd 2011
     

    “Return the slab, or suffer my curse.”

  16.  

    “What’s your offer?”

  17.  

    “A sweltren globule of perspirate plummeted unctuously into the granular loam from the venerable peddler’s saturnine frons.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJul 30th 2011
     

    I went camping last week, so as per family tradition, I had to take along several Louis L’amour western novels to read around the campfire. (they’re an acquired taste, best acquired when you’re too young to know better. They’re good, as far as pulp fiction novels go, and it’s very clear that he knew what he was talking about when it came to such things as the landscape, cattle ranches, and traveling through a barren desert, but rather… repetitive.) This is quite possibly the greatest paragraph he ever wrote, said to a gang of outlaws intimidated into dropping their guns:

    “Now, Gentlemen and Fellow-Sinners, you have come this day within the shadow of the valley. It is well for each and every one of us to recall how weak is the flesh, how close we stand to Judgement, so you will all join me in singing ‘Rock of Ages’.”

    And so they do.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSharkonian
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2011
     

    What was the start of all this? When did the cogs of fate begin to turn? Perhaps it is impossible to grasp that answer now. From deep within the flow of time… But, for a certainty, back then, we loved so many, yet hated so much. We hurt others and were hurt ourselves… Yet even then we ran like the wind, whilst our laughter echoed under cerulean skies…

  18.  

    What was the start of all this? When did the cogs of fate begin to turn? Perhaps it is impossible to grasp that answer now. From deep within the flow of time… But, for a certainty, back then, we loved so many, yet hated so much. We hurt others and were hurt ourselves… Yet even then we ran like the wind, whilst our laughter echoed under cerulean skies…

    ...You’re my favorite for today.

  19.  

    “Imagine four balls on the edge of a cliff. Say a direct copy of the ball nearest the cliff is sent to the back of the line of balls and takes the place of the first ball. The formerly first ball becomes the second, the second becomes the third, and the fourth falls off the cliff. Time works the same way.”

  20.  

  21.  

    “So, I’m gonna give you a little somethin’ you can’t take off.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorhappycrab91
    • CommentTimeAug 2nd 2011 edited
     
    I've recently been thinking about quotes in fiction and briefly mentioned it in the animu and mango thread, then I remembered this one. So could this thread also be used for discussing writing our own epic quotes? If people want to...

    TheArmourer, your friend of a friend sounds like an effing legend.
    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeAug 3rd 2011
     

    “Dance number”

    - Peter Dinklage (Tyrion Lannister), when asked how he imagines Game of Thrones ending.

  22.  

    “While I was asleep the village was attacked I woke up and saw both the little girl and her father get killed, that caused me to speak my first words “NOOO! WHOEVER DID THIS WILL PAY DEARLY, BECAUSE I LOVED THEM?” I finally had enough rage to cause me to transform into a Super Sayin. I was very pissed off and lost all control of my body and I killed all the raiders and ate their guts, after that I left the ruined village after I buried the little girl’s and her father’s bodies.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 3rd 2011
     

    Tucker gives Church tips about how to hit on girls, while Caboose plays the part of the girl.

    Tucker: Church! Say something rebellious!
    Church: Um, okay, I think the working class should rebel against the, um, rich people.
    Tucker: I said rebellious, not revolutionary.
    Church: I drive a fast car over the speed limit. All the time.
    Caboose: I will go with you everywhere!
    Tucker: See? It’s easy!

  23.  

    “I bet it’s like when you find out Santa isn’t real, and it was really just Bigfoot giving you presents.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorSharkonian
    • CommentTimeAug 5th 2011
     

    “Damn what your father thinks, Malfoy. NAH”

  24.  

    “‘This is present day Earth. Only now the Permian and Cretaceous extinctions never happened’ oh my GOD it’s alternate prehistory fanfiction!”

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeAug 8th 2011
     

    “By rights she should be taken out and hung
    For the cold bloody murder of the English tongue.”

    Not sure if trolling, or artistic license.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 8th 2011
     

    I love that song, by the way.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeAug 9th 2011
     

    “I’m not being defensive, I’m defending myself!”

    -Elise, from Hell’s Kitchen.

  25.  

    “The eternal wonders of space and time, the faraway dreams and mysteries of other worlds, other life, the stars, the planets… Man has been face-to-face with them for centuries. He is barely able to penetrate their unknown secrets. Some time, some day, the barrier will be pierced. Why must we wait? Why not… now?”

  26.  

    “Wait… what is this? I have to go to the bank? What am I, some sort of wizard?”
    Allie

    •  
      CommentAuthorBeldam
    • CommentTimeAug 11th 2011 edited
     
    A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." --Douglas Adams
    •  
      CommentAuthorSharkonian
    • CommentTimeAug 11th 2011
     

  27.  

    “Writing is made of mountains and landslides. The landslides are the best bits to write, when things are moving very quickly and people are fighting for their lives or dying. The mountains are more difficult, because things move more slowly, and all the rocks are falling in place for the next landslide. And it’s always kind of hard to dust myself from a landslide and start climbing the mountain again. “

    Me, trying to explain things to a non-writer friend.

  28.  

    Wow, that’s really good, Inspector.

  29.  

    Wow, that’s really good, Inspector.

    Thankye, Platypus. I love when my strange analogies make sense.

  30.  

    “Irregardless, I could care less.”

  31.  

    “Our headlines are splashed with crime, yet for every criminal there are 10,000 honest decent kindly men. If it were not so, no child would live to grow up, business could not go on from day to day. Decency is not news; it is buried in the obituaries — but it is a force stronger than crime.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 15th 2011
     

    stabs SJ in the face That was painful.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSharkonian
    • CommentTimeAug 15th 2011
     

    “ ‘You cocksure guttersnipe,’ the young man said softly. ‘What will you do now? Can you get free? No. How surprising: you’re helpless. You know a few words, but you’re capable of nothing. Perhaps this will teach you the dangers of insolence when you’re too weak to fight back. No, get out of my sight.’ “

  32.  

    “What is it with you and rape? No one’s raping anybody. Killing on the other hand…”

    •  
      CommentAuthorYorkshire
    • CommentTimeAug 16th 2011
     

    “The road to hell is paved with adverbs.”

  33.  

    “Autism is when you’re good at math but you don’t know how to talk right.”

  34.  

    “The gods are fucking you, you find a way to fuck them back. It’s Baltimore, gentlemen. The gods will not save you.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeAug 19th 2011
     

    “Were ninjas Japanese, or Chinese? Which ones were Samurai and which were ninjas?”

    - my older brother, of whom I am thoroughly ashamed.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 19th 2011
     

    Another RvB quote, because that show is the funniest, most quotable show ever.

    [Tucker, Church, and Caboose are standing around talking, as they are wont to do. A grenade lies on the ground between the three of them.]
    Tucker: Hey, you dropped a grenade.
    Church: That’s not one of mine. Caboose, pick that up.
    Caboose: I’m not allowed to carry grenades, remember? Because of that one exploding time? Which… was no one’s fault.
    Church: Well, I didn’t drop it! Tucker, count yours.
    Tucker: I have a readout on my helmet, dummy, I don’t need to count.
    Church: Oh, right. Well, it has to be somebody’s.
    [There’s a long pause as they all stare at it.]
    Tucker: ...somebody threw a grenade at us, didn’t they?
    Church: Yeah, we probably should’ve figured that out sooner.
    [EXPLOSION!]

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeAug 19th 2011
     

    “Demons run
    When a good man goes to war.
    Night will fall and drown the sun
    When a good man goes to war.
    Friendship dies and true love lies;
    Night will fall and the dark will rise
    When a good man goes to war.”

    “Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.” – Albert Camus

    •  
      CommentAuthorSharkonian
    • CommentTimeAug 21st 2011
     

    Marry Harris “Mother” Jones to James Peabody

    Denver, Colorade, March 26, 1904

    Governor James H. Peabody:

    Mr. Governor, you notified you dogs of war to put me out of the state. They complied with your instructions. I hold in my hand a letter that was handed to me by one of them, which says “under no circumstances return to this state.” I wish to notify you, governor, that you don’t own the state. When it was admitted to the sisterhood of states, my fathers gave me a share of stock in it; and that is all they gave you. The civil courts are open. If I break a law of state or nation it is the duty of the civil courts to deal with me. That is why my forefathers established those courts to keep dictators and tyrants such as you from interfering with civilians. I am right here in the capital, after being out nine or ten hours, four or five blocks from your office. I want to ask you, governor, what in Hell are you going to do about it?

    Mother Jones

    •  
      CommentAuthorCurly
    • CommentTimeAug 21st 2011
     

    They hurled lights in his eyes to see if he could see, rammed needles into nerves to hear if he could feel.

    Catch 22

  35.  

    Shark, that is a kickass letter.

  36.  

    Punctuation, is? fun!

  37.  

    “Call me not noob, call me Anoobis; you have entered the realm of the defeated, and you are mine.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 22nd 2011
     

    ^^ I knew I’d read that quote somewhere today, but could not for the life of me remember where it was and had to resort to Google. Good line, though.

    •  
      CommentAuthorNinjaCat
    • CommentTimeAug 23rd 2011
     

    “I built this kingdom up from nuthin’. When I started here, all of this was swamp! Other kings said it was daft to build a castle in a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show ‘em! It sank into the swamp. SO, I built a second one! That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one…...stayed up. And that’s what you’re gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands. “

    We are totally doing Monty Python sketches in drama this year. =P

    •  
      CommentAuthorSharkonian
    • CommentTimeAug 24th 2011
     

    Live as if you were to die tomorrow, and learn as if you were to live forever.

  38.  

    “I was on my way to a gay gypsy bar mitzvah…”

  39.  

    “Nothings wrong, just thought I was off on my addition.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorBeldam
    • CommentTimeSep 3rd 2011
     

    ‘I have CDO. It’s like OCD, but with the letters in alphabetical order – -like they’re supposed to be!’

  40.  

    “The Earth can never calm down! We as the world, are still panicking! Go on, try touching it, but you’ll just make the panicking even worse. After all, this is a story of the world. A story that details an ever-panicking world, all due to one measly online game. Hubspace came to life during 2012, and brought disaster to the world. And if you want to know what type of disaster this is, that WAS disaster. NOTHING can be compared to this. If anything, this can be as devastating as the Earth ending within minutes because this shocked the world! And the future. Ever so constantly.

    “But something else went on right after that.”

  41.  

    “So, I’m gonna give you a little somethin’ you can’t take off.”

    I love you, NP.

    Wow, that’s really good, Inspector.

    Agreed.

    “What is it with you and rape? No one’s raping anybody. Killing on the other hand…”

    Where does this come from?

    Also, here’s my contribution for the day:

    Brigitte: You had unprotected sex with (Jason) and you infected him!
    Ginger (most deadpan tone and expression you can possibly imagine): Oops.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeSep 7th 2011
     

    It’s from Dexter, I think.

  42.  

    ^^Swenson wins.

  43.  

    SWENSONUISATROOWINNIRR!!!!1111!!!!!
    ;-)

    “A lie can run around the world before the truth has got its boots on,”

    And then later:

  44.  

    “Rowan, am I not a thing of mist and shadows?”

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeSep 8th 2011
     

    :D

    @Klutor – I love that line.

  45.  

    ^Me too. And remember kids, as long as you’ve got your potato, everything will be all right.

  46.  

    “Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvistite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you’ve been to college.”
    -Kurt Vonnegut

  47.  
    bq.“Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvistite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you’ve been to college.”
    -Kurt Vonnegut

    Bahahahahahahaha!
  48.  

    “I’m going to tell you some news. No, I am not running for President, although I do know that a sentence, if it is to be complete, must have both a subject and a verb.”
    -Kurt Vonnegut

    This guy’s a fountain of awesome quotes.

  49.  

    Ha I didn’t know semicolons were frowned upon. I should probably remove all of mine, especially since I am probably not using them correctly and thus making an ass of myself. Gimme more quotes from that guy!

  50.  

    “We are here on earth to fart around. Don’t let anyone tell you different.”
    -Kurt Vonnegut