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  1.  

    It deserves one. We’ll write it one stanza at a time, to the tune of American Pie.

    A long, long time ago…
    I can still remember
    How that website used to make me smile.
    And I knew if I had my chance,
    I could make some anti-fans,
    And they’d write scathing essays for a while.

  2.  

    And the website made me quiver
    With every update they’d deliver.
    Bad news for those who worship;
    For we’d formed ourselves a fellowship.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2009
     

    I still remember when I tried
    To log in; but the server fried
    And then a pop-up ad I spied-

    That’s when I found, I.I.-

  3.  

    And we were singin’
    I, I, love this site named I.I.
    I lost AS but I gained es
    When this site I did spy
    I mourned its loss and had to kiss it good-bye
    Saying “Sorry, but now I have I.I.”
    “Sorry, but now I have I.I.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorZombie Devin
    • CommentTimeJul 8th 2009 edited
     


    Did he write a piece of shit,
    And would you have faith AST’d get us out of it,
    If the Epistler told you so?
    Did you go to ST to troll,
    Did their reactions make you lol,
    And can you teach me to write really well?

    •  
      CommentAuthorInkasrain
    • CommentTimeJul 8th 2009
     

    And when I saw “Eragon” on the page,
    My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
    No angel born in Hell
    Could make Paolini write well.

    And as the flame wars climbed onto the site,
    Making us all stay up all night,
    We heard Hackskayer laughing with delight,
    The day Anti-Shurtugal died.

  4.  

    [repeat chorus]

    Now for a couple months we’ve been on our own
    And bad writers grow rich when you leave their work alone
    But that’s not how it used to be
    Now SMeyer writes for suckered teens
    And Paolini works on a brick of green
    I just can’t believe what I see

  5.  

    Oh and while reader was looking down,
    the book spat out a hairless groin.
    Our retinas were seared
    no therapy could help.
    And while fanboys read the book of Pao,
    the dreaded quartet it is now,
    the II would point and laugh
    the day Anti – Shurtugal died

  6.  

    [repeat chorus]

    Killing, milling about was not thrilling.
    Paolini will learn to write, God willing,
    Three books in and failing fast.
    We thought it’d ended at last.
    But his fail was once again surpassed,
    With the news of a fresh green brick to outlast..