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    • CommentTimeJul 6th 2009

    I never knew what he saw in me. I was pale, pale as the snow, pale as paper, pale as the clouds in the cloudy blue sky. He was…the Secretary for Transport, the saviour of all train riders, battling to ensure that their transportation arrived on time. His name alone drew me in, Adonis, Adonis, Adonis, echoing in my ears through the myths of ages past…

    • CommentTimeJul 6th 2009

    This. This is the greatest story ever told. Continue. Please.


    • CommentTimeJul 6th 2009


    • CommentTimeJul 6th 2009


    Only his presence could draw me from my stupor. I looked up, putting my fantasies on hold. His crooked grin drew my gaze. I should’ve known he would be here, here at the train terminal. My eyes traveled upwards, and I found my self drowning in the deep blue ocean that was his eyes. I tried for a smile, but I fear, in my nervousness, I may have looked more deranged than happy to see him. He placed a hand playfully on my shoulder, and I fingered his silky, blue tie. He was perfect. He was more beautiful than any deity could ever be, and so his name fit him, and then Andonis spoke, sending a chill down my spine.

    • CommentTimeJul 6th 2009

    “Your train has arrived on track three,” he said, his voice deep and smooth, like caramels melted over a perfect scoop of sorbet.

    I sighed involuntarily, reveling in the glorious sound of his voice, and leaned in closer, not wanting to ever leave his side. “Adonis,” I whispered.

    “Tessa…” he breathed, leaning close to my neck. “Your train has arrived on track three.”

    “Oh!” I said, the words finally getting through to me. “But now that I’m here… I’m not sure I want to-” My heart thumped sideways in my chest, dropping down to my stomach before reaching up to my throat and strangling me. Finally, I gasped out the last word. “Leave.”

    “Your train will be leaving in two minutes,” he said softly, staring deep into my eyes with his sparkling dark blue ones, making my heart race until I thought it would drop dead from sheer exhaustion.

    “I… must go…” I whispered, looking down quickly.

    He picked my suitcase up from the floor and straightened with a fluid movement that raised my eyes to him again. Such grace! Such strength! Such beauty! I could barely keep myself from throwing myself at him. “Track three,” he repeated, leading me in its direction.


    I followed him toward the track. His strong hand rested upon my shoulder, guiding me. I was glad for this because I wasn’t sure I could even walk in a straight line without it. “Here we are,” he hissed delightfully. “Track three.”

    “Oh,” I crooned, not wanting to leave his side. I laid my head on his boney chest. He gently lifted my chin, turning my toward the track.

    “Your train is about to depart, Tessa,” he purred. “I suggest you go now.” His nasally voice filled me with delight, and my heart leapt to my throat. My lungs seemed frozen in suspended animation. If death came now, I would have lived a wonderful life. If I died right here I could die happily. But alas, my heart and lungs resumed their functions, and I boarded the train.

    “I wish I could stay with you,” I cried as the train began it’s trek uptown. I could see the hint of a smile on his slender lips. I knew then, that it was love. I walked down the isle, taking a seat next to a tall, blond fellow. He was muscular and had deep brown eyes. But next to Adonis, he seemed so plain, so ordinary. His muscles bulged in a sickening way. He looked at me.

    “Nice day, isn’t it?” he droned. I grimaced. His ugliness apalled me.

    “I guess…” I said, looking away. Why was this moron talking to me? I moved farther down the isle. I had to get away from that homely loser. I reached into my pocket, pulling out Adonis’s picture. I had taken it one day while I watched him pointing out trains to some twenty-something girl. Slut. I loathed her from that moment on, but this picture, oh, it would be perfect were it not for her inscensent elbow peeking through. I ran a finger over his face and sighed to my self. How could I ever measure up to such perfection?

    • CommentTimeJul 6th 2009


    • CommentTimeJul 6th 2009 edited

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    • CommentTimeJul 6th 2009 edited


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    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2009


    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2009

    I leaned back, trying to bring his glorious figure in front of my closed eyes again as the train began to move. Its gentle rhythm soon brought me to the edge of sleep- but I was quickly jerked back to the present by a scream.

    It was that girl up front, of course, keeping me from doting on my Adonis… my sweet, sweet Adonis… just the thought of him made my kidneys speed up. Ahh, Adon-

    The girl screamed again, and I sighed with displeasure and looked up. Then I gasped in shock. A train, moving along at nearly twice the usual speed, was heading directly toward the side of my train car! “No!” I cried bitterly. “Adonis! I cannot leave you!” It was mere seconds from impact. I winced and turned my eyes away…


    Suddenly there was a crushing crunching sound, and the train came to an abrupt stop. I looked toward the front of the train. I couldn’t see anything, so I forced open the train door. Andonis stood on the tracks, one hand on each train. My liver nearly shut down, and I could almost feel my skin yellowing. “Adonis!” I called. He just barely acknowledged my presence.

    I ran to him, clutching my throbbing kidney. “Tessa,” he wheazed, letting go of the trains. “Are you all right?”

    I-I think so,” I gasped, my organs nearly exploding. My eyes were drawn to his arms. The thin bones were poking through, but wait! They weren’t bones at all! Small pieces of steel peeked through his pale skin. “Wh-what are you?” I asked, stepping back.

    “Tessa,” he began, flashing me a radiant smile. His adult braces shown under the florescent lights. “I am an automaton.” I felt my kidney rise up all the way to my throat.

    “I thought automatons were emotionless,” I said.

    “No, no. Silly Tessa, that’s a myth, and there are so many others.”

    “Like what?”


    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeJul 7th 2009 edited

    “Like… that we’re all metal. You see, we are made of a special type of metal. It is called Epsilon, and it can bind to flesh. Not all of me,” Adonis continued, giving me a significant look that made my kidneys quake, “is metal.”

    I sighed in rapture at his insinuation. When I thought Adonis could get no more perfect, he had. He would never age, never grow fat or bald. His metal bones shone like radiant stars. I leaned against him, my frail human limbs trembling.

    “How long have you been an automaton?” I asked, rubbing my cheek against his perfect, skinny chest.

    “A while…”


    “But Tessa,” he said harshly, pushing me away, “We cannot be together! I have duty to keep the trains running on time, and you, you’re just a child to me! We cannot be!”

    “But Adonis,” I cried, “You are my soul mate! Do not leave me without some memory of affection from you, or I shall do something reckless!”

    “How reckless can you be, my dear?” he said in a voice that made my kidneys quake with longing.

    “I’ll… I’ll throw myself under a train!”

    “You silly, incorrigible girl,” he purred, and then pressed his metal lips to mine. I wet myself.

    “Are you alright?” he asked with touching concern.

    “Yes. I think I just forgot to hold it in.”


    “It’s all right, my dear,” he said, reaching toward his fanny pack. “I always carry a change of pants.” He pulled out a pair of tight-fitting trousers, and handed them to me. His hand was cool to the touch, though at the moment, I was cool all over. “You can change in the ladies room,” he purred. “It’s over there.” He pointed with his slender finger toward a door with and a crude picture of a stick-woman on the front. I started off toward it, but he grabbed my arm. “When you’re finished,” he began, his blue orbs staring deep into my eyes, “leave. It is not safe for you here.” I nodded and hurried off to change, sloshing all the way.

    When I arrived at the ladies room, that slut was there. She stared at me and began pointing and laughing. My embarassment spread to my kidneys, and I feared I might have another accident. I hurried into the stall to change.

    When I was again fresh, I exited the restroom, throwing a final glance at Adonis before departing. I went home and went straight to bed, for it was nearly midnight.


    I awoke in the night to a strange sound near my window. I got out of bed, sadly finding that I again needed to change my clothes… and my sheets. But that would have to wait, for the noise grew louder. I trekked to the window, peering outside. It was Adonis! He seemed to be floating in mid-air. I opened the window. He wasn’t floating; he was standing on the ground, but my window was on the second floor. I saw that his legs extended upward longer than any human appendage would. He was extendable! Adonis, my Stretch Armstrong.

    “Oh, Tessa,” he cooed. “Did I wake you?” He looked slightly embarassed at being caught.

    “Yes, but it’s alright. I needed to get up a lot earlier than when you woke me up anyway. What are you doing here?” I asked, afraid to hear the answer.

    I-I was watching you sleep, my sweet.” He hung his head in shame. I knew I should feel angry, violated, but I was strangley flattered. I felt myself blush, and jondice spread over my face.

    “That’s so sweet,” I crooned, my kidneys nearly giving out again.

    “I should go,” he admitted. “I’m no good for you!” And with that, he ran away, getting shorter with every step.

    “No! Adonis! Come back!” I cried, but to no avail. A single tear fell from my yellowing eye. I went to my closet to pick out new pajamas.

    @Willow “He would never age, never grow fat or bald.”
    Well, he won’t get balder


    The next day, I went to my school. I hated it there. It was so dull without my dear Adonis, and filled with lower life-forms such as my group of friends. There was Laurel, the only girl more popular than me, and Angel, who I enjoyed making fun of because she was so desperately friendless. There was Michael, Laurel’s boyfriend, and Jackson, who I knew had a crush on both Angel and I. They were all tedious robots, unlike my Adonis. I waited out the day, counting the seconds until I could board the train home. 73568, 73569…


    When the bell finally rang, I rushed out. Michael ran after to me… unfortunately. “You know,” he said, “the dance is coming up. Would you, maybe, wanna go with me?” I looked at him in horror. This was absolutely apalling!

    “I don’t think so, Michael,” I said softly. “I-I don’t really like dances.” He hung his head, looking hurt. “You should ask Angel!” I said excitedly.

    “I don’t know…”

    “Oh, come on! You’ll have a great time. Please. You know she’ll never get a date without you.” I batted my eyes, pretending to care. I really just wanted him to leave me alone.

    “Okay, I guess I could ask her…” I gave him my biggest, fakest smile.

    “That’s great, Michael,” I said, squeezing his shoulder. His muscular arm disgusted me.


    I was at the train station, waiting for a look at Adonis. Then my phone rang. What now? I answered it. “Hello,” I said, disinterested.

    “Hi!” said an enthusiastic voice. “It’s me, Angel! Guess what?”

    “What?” I inquired, wanting to chuck my phone at the concrete.

    “Michael asked me out!” she squeeled.

    “That’s great. Listen, I have to go now.” I hung up the phone before she could answer. There he was, Adonis, in all his God-like glory.