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    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJul 9th 2009
     

    AS: Annoyed by the fact that Jack was picking up more chicks that he was, the Doctor tricked Jack into getting killed by the Daleks. (Unfortunately Rose raised him from the dead, but that’s another story.)

    PS: Church was killed by Caboose.

  1.  

    AS: Caboose ruthlessly dimembered Church, thus killing him.\

    PS: Amber was hugged.

    •  
      CommentAuthorJabrosky
    • CommentTimeJul 9th 2009
     

    AS: The giant snake hugged Amber to death before eating her.

    PS: The gods were enraged.

  2.  

    AS: The peasant’s disregard for the tempel enraged Zeus and co.

    PS: John was hailed as the leader of the free world.

    •  
      CommentAuthorJabrosky
    • CommentTimeJul 9th 2009
     

    AS: The neocons hailed John as their ideal leader of the free world.

    PS: The elephant was danced with.

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJul 9th 2009 edited
     

    AS: The giraffe danced witht he elephant.

    PS: Your memory stick was flushed away.

  3.  

    AS: The tiger danced with the elephant. Then the circus owner was paid huge sums of money to sell the dancing duo.

    PS: We were watched.

    •  
      CommentAuthorJabrosky
    • CommentTimeJul 9th 2009
     

    AS: My little sister flushed my memory stick down the toilet.

    PS: The missionary was sacrificed.

  4.  

    AS: The evil cultists slaughtered the missionary and drank his blood.

    PS: The dragon was confused.

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJul 10th 2009
     

    AS: The mage rolled a natural 20 when casting his Confusion spell.

    PS: The wasp stole the honey.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJul 10th 2009
     

    AS: Honey was most distraught when the wasp stole her.

    PS: The monkeys were attacked by the housecat.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSMARTALIENQT
    • CommentTimeJul 10th 2009 edited
     

    AS: The Samurai Pizza Cats attacked the monkeys. Epically.

    PS: The fail was deemed epic.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJul 10th 2009
     

    AS: It was, quite frankly, an epic fail.

    PS: The ransom note was secretly written by Swenson.

  5.  

    AS: Swenson wrote the ransom note under the cover of darkness.

    PS: The bed was fallen on because I was tired.

    • CommentAuthorAdam
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2009
     

    AS: I collapsed on the bed and fell asleep within seconds.

    PS: The idea was viewed unfavorably by many before Adam came along.

  6.  

    AS: Adam changed everyone’s outlook on the idea, rather like Juror 8.

    PS: The aircraft was crashed by Smartie.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2009
     

    AS: Smartie, in directly contrast to her name, was actually quite dumb, leading her to crash the plane into a mountainside.

    PS: The bottle was rolling down the slope.

  7.  

    That’s active, but whatever.

    The scintillating, emerald glass, which had been drawn when softened by heat into the cylindrical and quite tapered (though not conical) form of a vessel for the containment of wine, rotated with greater, ever greater velocity about its longitudinal axis as it tumbled without aim towards the base of the inclined surface, with the inevitable outcome of its complete destruction growing ever more imminent with each passing second.

    The lock was picked.

  8.  

    Fred and George picked the lock expertly.

    The ant was fried by the magnifying glass.

    •  
      CommentAuthorJabrosky
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2009
     

    The boy cruelly fried the ant with a magnifying glass.

    Van Helsing was spotted.

  9.  

    AS: The villains spotted Van Helsing.

    PS: Stanley was forced to dig holes.

    •  
      CommentAuthorJabrosky
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2009
     

    AS: The Warden forced Stanley to dig holes.

    PS: Godzilla was thrown.

  10.  

    PS: Bambi threw Godzilla.

    AS: Duke Rodger was killed.

  11.  

    AS: The man killed Duke Rodger.

    PS: Tim was electrocuted.

  12.  

    AS: The diabolic toaster electrocuted Tim.
    PS: The terrible book was thrown with great force against the wall.

  13.  

    AS: I hurled Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate at the wall, embedding it in the sheetrock, then sharply yanked it from the rubble of its newly-dug niche to resume reading.

    PS: Justin Bieber was Goatse’d.

  14.  

    AS: “The poor boy won’t ever recover from the trauma!” cackled the troll, as he clicked “send” on the email to Justin Bieber containing the link to Goatse.

    PS: My childhood was ruined.

  15.  

    AS: SMARTALIENQT sighed in despair as she shut down her computer, never to recover from the trauma of reading through Topless Robot’s entire fanfiction archive.

    PS: Lulz were had by all.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSMARTALIENQT
    • CommentTimeJun 18th 2010 edited
     

    AS: All of the trollz had lulz az they spammed the Twi-server with Goatse picz.

    PS: It had to be done.

  16.  

    AS: It is a good day to do what has to be done by me and help my brother to defeat the enemys.

    PS: In spite of my best efforts, it couldn’t be removed.

  17.  

    AS: No matter how much brain bleach I applied, goatse was still burned on my retinas and I could not remove it.

    PS: She would not be swayed.

    • CommentAuthorJamie
    • CommentTimeJun 23rd 2010
     

    AS (assuming you mean mentally swaying): No matter how hard anyone attempted to tug or pull at her mind, she did not change her inflexible path of thought.

    PS: I saw a picture.

  18.  

    That was never a passive sentence.

    AS: I saw a picture.

    PS: I was KILLED.

  19.  

    AS: You freaking KILLED me!

    PS: The escapee was spotted.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJun 23rd 2010
     

    AS: Quickly motioning the Special Ops team to stay in cover, Colonel Martinez put a pair of binoculars to his eyes to scan the horizon, finally catching sight of the escaped giraffe.

    PS: The thread was boring her.

  20.  

    Again, THAT WAS NOT A PASSIVE SENTENCE. >:Ɑ

    AS: The thread was boring her.

    PS: She was being bored by the thread.

    SEE HOW THAT WORKS?!

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJun 23rd 2010
     

    ...I feel stupid now. I know the difference, I just didn’t think first! Let’s see if I can manage to remember basic rules of grammar this time around:

    AS: The thread bored her to tears.
    PS: Stupid things were being written by her.

  21.  

    AS: Mountain Dew poured into a keyboard would have produced more intelligent discourse than that which her fingers vomitously spewed onto the screen for all to see and RAEG at.

    PA: To my chagrin, I had been unconditionally and irrevocably VIOLATED.

  22.  

    To my chagrin, I had been unconditionally and irrevocably VIOLATED.

    Ahahaha.