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As the title said, I’m doing a poetry project for my literature project, and part of it is writing 3 poems ourselves. We had our first snowstorm a while back, and I wrote this during it one night when I couldn’t sleep. I was thinking of keeping the final like “Like any final days”?
Each Year
Too ripe fruits fall from the trees
For now
It appeases me
But after each
Red drop,
Yellow flip,
Orange flop
Brown sets in
One and another
A cold white clutter
Come in fierce yet hollow moans
Then sit so pretty
Upon branches: brittle bones
Slowly, creeping their grasp
Fingers of gold
Awaken colors
Which quickly pass
In quiet sprouts and buds
Then bursting forth
Flowers feed on sun:
Blossom in wet mud
In the summer, hot and keen
On the grass, the green,
The shimmering haze
Under my daze
Become sweet and teasing
These cruel final days
I like it! There’s some really good imagery, and the rhythm is quite well developed. I think you should keep “these cruel final days”, but maybe change “cruel” to “cold”? That would imply the imminent transition back to autumn/fall, thus completing the cycle.
eta: also, if you’re short on the number of poems you need, and can’t think of anything that works well, I recommend trying a pantoum. They practically write themselves, even better then sestinas and triolets. Once you have the first verse written, you’ve got half of the second first and half of the final verse already.
Thanks! I like the change to “cold” for the final line, perhaps even “cooling”? And thanks for the pantoum suggestion, sounds like a structure I might be using.
“cooling” would work well. And I love poetic forms that use repetition as a structural element, not only because you only need to write half as many lines as the poem needs, but because it’s such a powerful and evocative tool if you use it right, especially for contemplative or introspective poems.
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