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      CommentAuthorPotatoman
    • CommentTimeOct 11th 2013 edited
     

    This is a thread to discuss stories you’ve written in the past. Feel free to talk about ones that you aren’t proud of, or ones which you think are so badly written that you find them particularly noteworthy.

    I’ve just read through an old story I wrote when I was thirteen. Oh. My. GOD. It was literally the stupidest thing I’ve ever read in my life. I was crying and laughing at the same time, more crying than laughing. Apparently I thought that copying a product’s full name (along with model number) was cool. God it was so badly written. Maybe I should start another thread and spork it.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeOct 11th 2013
     

    A model number? I want to know more. At least give us a quote from that part!

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      CommentAuthorPryotra
    • CommentTimeOct 11th 2013
     

    Maybe I should start another thread and spork it.

    Lol

    I recently found the first ‘novel’ that I ever wrote at seven. Complete with the main character being named after me. Stupid dialog and the knowledge that I was taking it so seriously. It was kind of adorable, but I swear I would murder anyone who showed it to the world.

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      CommentAuthorPotatoman
    • CommentTimeOct 11th 2013
     

    @ swenson

    A model number? I want to know more. At least give us a quote from that part!

    Haha here goes! ‘Holton was now starting to get anxious and impatient. The clone should be back by now. He looked at his Tag Heuer Monaco 40th Anniversary re-edition, number CAW221.
    1:33 am. Not good. Not good at all.’

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      CommentAuthorPotatoman
    • CommentTimeOct 11th 2013
     

    At least it’s not as dumb as the anthropomorphic hamster story I wrote when I was eight.

    Anthro hamsters FTW. They mean srs bznz.

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      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeOct 11th 2013
     

    That’s beautiful, man! I love that. I really do. When I get home, I need to dig up some of my old stuff… I’m sure there’s some beautiful bits in there!

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      CommentAuthorPotatoman
    • CommentTimeOct 11th 2013
     

    @swenson Thank you! :P Yes, please do, I’d love to read them! xD

    •  
      CommentAuthorResistance
    • CommentTimeOct 11th 2013
     

    My dad actually laughed out loud when I read him that. Don’t feel bad, I’ve got to show you the Draco Malfoy love triangle fan fiction/vampire princess story I wrote when I was 11. The main characters name is Isis Darke, I kid you not. I would spork it, but it’s too much fail. And it’s only about 5 pages long. I’ll post it here later for your enjoyment.

    •  
      CommentAuthorlilyWhite
    • CommentTimeOct 11th 2013
     

    Isis Darke

    Nah, ice is translucent. Trust me, I’m a Canadian. XD

    •  
      CommentAuthorResistance
    • CommentTimeOct 11th 2013
     

    I loved (and still do love) Egyptian mythology, so I figured, hey, why not name an aristocrat after a 2000 year old god?

  1.  

    I wrote a story featured on the site (back when I was Rhaego) that was just freaking terrible. I’m still turbo embarrassed.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeOct 11th 2013
     

    Nah, ice is translucent. Trust me, I’m a Canadian. XD

    lol

    Looking back through the stuff I wrote in high school, I had a very weird sense of humor. For example, I wrote an adaptation of Robin Hood in the modern day (‘cause he’s Robin in the Hood… you know… like “da hood”... I don’t even know). But sadly, on this computer, I only have stuff back as far as 2007, which is after the really good (read: terrible) stuff. I did find this lovely piece of dialogue, though:

    “How can I leave?” she whispered brokenly. “How can I go? My mother is gone. Taken! By who? I do not know. To where? I do not know. All I know is she is gone. And I am alone.”

    Oh, teh drama.

    It is then followed by a couple of pages of this character and her friend coming up with incredibly stupid plans (ugh) for going to the elves (ugh) and then the character “collaps[ing] into sobs again”, and then five lines of dialogue later, laughing happily at an incredibly stupid joke her friend told (UGH).

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      CommentAuthorPryotra
    • CommentTimeOct 11th 2013
     

    Yeah…I just found my one and only Mary Sue fic. Where I essentially took Kisara from YGO and put her in modern day in with dream personality so that I could ship her with Seto Kaiba.

    Including random other magic elements that had no meaning in the continuity or the plot and just existed to make my character look cool.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPotatoman
    • CommentTimeOct 11th 2013
     

    Including random other magic elements that had no meaning in the continuity or the plot and just existed to make my character look cool.

    That was my favourite writing pasttime when I was like six, even when I had no clue that it was what I was doing.

    I wrote a story featured on the site (back when I was Rhaego) that was just freaking terrible. I’m still turbo embarrassed.

    It’s all good. We all have stories we aren’t happy with. It’s like a safe mode to ensure we never go crazy with delusions of grandeur and eventually end up like Tesch.

    (‘cause he’s Robin in the Hood… you know… like “da hood”.

    That is SO badass. Really. I would seriously love to read that. I mean come on, Robin in Da Hood?! Awesome! :D
    Looking back through my dad’s old OLD IBM laptop, I found a few I wrote when I was around 7 or 8, and I was a little surprised by my vocabulary range. I was going for English classes at that time since I’d just moved from Singapore where I’d learned some Mandarin at school. English was a bit difficult, and I was in first grade trying to learn everything. I showed it around, and it had a pretty good reception. Well, good in the sense that it’s a Tintin fanfic where Thompson and Thomson get trapped in a parallel universe in the style of Douglas Adams. I had a weird imagination back then.

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      CommentAuthorResistance
    • CommentTimeOct 12th 2013
     

    I had a weird imagination back then

    Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be seven again, just for a day. I remember I could turn a trip to the carpet store to adventure where the salespeople were in a evil secret society and I had to creep around and spy on them.

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      CommentAuthorPotatoman
    • CommentTimeOct 12th 2013
     

    I remember I could turn a trip to the carpet store to adventure where the salespeople were in a evil secret society and I had to creep around and spy on them.

    If I was seven, I would definitely join you because that sounds like the coolest adventure ever.

    •  
      CommentAuthorResistance
    • CommentTimeOct 12th 2013
     

    I was an only child until I was about eight, when my parents got a foster child, so I pretty much only has myself to play with. I was like one of those people who believe the conspiracy shows – I was always making it so that I had to spy/sneak around and not get caught.

    If I had a scanner, I’d show you the (very poorly drawn) pictures of flying wolves. And flying wolves in battle. This is what I did instead of math in 5th grade (sadly, I still have the habit of doodling during math.)

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      CommentAuthorPotatoman
    • CommentTimeOct 12th 2013
     

    And flying wolves in battle. This is what I did instead of math in 5th grade (sadly, I still have the habit of doodling during math.)

    I always doodle during geography and bio class. It was fun :P Makes me miss lower high school, especially year 8.

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeOct 12th 2013
     

    If I had a scanner, I’d show you the (very poorly drawn) pictures of flying wolves. And flying wolves in battle.

    One of my best friends and I had this roleplaying thing going on when we were in grade 5, where there were wolves that had control over all elements and/or had powers that were tied with nature (I believe my wolf had control over shadows). Our wolves would exist right next to us as we talk over Windows messenger and they could talk as separate sentient beings, and we also had talking cats. We’d spend afternoons together drawing pictures of those wolves or finding them online. We also believed that Pokemon was real and ran around the apartment building and its surrounding gardens that my best friend lived in, looking for Pokemons in bushes. Oh, and my best friend had a dragon egg in her bedroom. I also had this small round ball made of marble and we both pretended it was an ice dragon’s egg.

    Those were the days. :D

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      CommentAuthorPotatoman
    • CommentTimeOct 12th 2013
     

    Those were the days. :D

    thumbs up Being a kid and having a child’s imagination is too underrated in this day and age. Now it’s mostly focussed on teenagers and I for one hate all the attention that this demographic is getting.

    Anyway to be more on topic, I just read a short children’s story I wrote a while back (when I was like 13 or 14). It was called ‘The Invasion of the Penguins’. That’s all I’m prepared to divulge right now ._.

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      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeOct 12th 2013
     

    To be totally honest, a big reason I haven’t posted more than that one line is because it makes me want to tear my hair out to look at some of the stuff I wrote… really awful The Incredibles fanfiction, anybody?

    •  
      CommentAuthorPotatoman
    • CommentTimeOct 13th 2013
     

    To be totally honest, a big reason I haven’t posted more than that one line is because it makes me want to tear my hair out to look at some of the stuff I wrote… really awful The Incredibles fanfiction, anybody?

    No worries, swenson. You don’t have to post it if you don’t want to, so no pressure there. This is just a thread to talk about silly things we wrote back when we thought they were good. Most of my stories are absolute balderdash, so I’m not gonna put them up here (unless I find a particularly horrendous one).

    Okai? _

  2.  

    Oh my gosh. Incredibles fanfiction? I didn’t even know that was a thing.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeOct 13th 2013 edited
     

    Only from a few years ago, so not really from “the past” as you’ve been discussing, but I don’t know WHAT I was drinking when I wrote the following serious non-sarcastic sentence:

    To the east, the sea solemnly pushed at the rocky shore like an ancient moisturous baker kneading the dough of the land.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPotatoman
    • CommentTimeOct 13th 2013
     

    I love the moisturous baker part. The dough of the land bit is not bad. :P But that baker part… damn. serious clap

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeOct 13th 2013
     

    @Angel – written at a time when I didn’t really have exposure to fanfiction… I just sort of wanted to write a story that took place in the same world.

    It’s just…

    really bad. It was in first-person diary format and had frankly weird amounts of tokenism, very bad fight scenes, and a very stupid plot. The main character was Violet’s daughter, as I recall.

    @Taku – is moisturous even a word?!

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeOct 13th 2013
     

    It should be.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPotatoman
    • CommentTimeOct 13th 2013
     

    It’s just… really bad. It was in first-person diary format and had frankly weird amounts of tokenism, very bad fight scenes, and a very stupid plot. The main character was Violet’s daughter, as I recall.

    My characters were convinced of their own awesomeness usually by the 5th or 6th page of my stories, when I first started out writing. Nowadays I’m just trying to be the biggest asshole I can towards them. It makes for interesting reading, to say the least. My other stories were in the so-bad-they-were-funny category, but I need to find them first before posting them up here. Incredibles fanfiction would be pretty cool to read. I started out writing a ‘Teen Titans’ fanfic with an app on my iPad but I accidentally deleted it.

    On an unrelated note, has anyone here heard of Mark Greenwood? He wrote that book… uhm… snaps fingers ‘Moondyne Joe’, that’s it! It’s a really good book, even if it is only about the size of a travel pamphlet.

    Did you guys ever notice how much better you seem to get in the space of a couple of years when you’re able to sit down and really look at your writing objectively?

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      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeOct 14th 2013
     

    Man, yes. I know my writing today is not exactly poetry dripping from the lips of Homer here, but I feel like it’s at least 35% less gouge-my-eyes-out now. And—no offense to the high schoolers around, this is a personal thing—I think an awful lot of it has to do with the fact that I’m not in high school anymore. Either that or NaNoWriMo. Writing very large numbers of words has a tendency to make you worry a lot less about making sure your word choice and similes are just perfect, and that tends to make your writing better because your carefully-chosen words and similes are almost always stupid anyway.

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      CommentAuthorPotatoman
    • CommentTimeOct 16th 2013
     

    I think an awful lot of it has to do with the fact that I’m not in high school anymore. Either that or NaNoWriMo. Writing very large numbers of words has a tendency to make you worry a lot less about making sure your word choice and similes are just perfect, and that tends to make your writing better because your carefully-chosen words and similes are almost always stupid anyway.

    THIS. YES. Seriously.

    I read a story I wrote when I was 13. I cried because of the terribleness.

    The premise? Two kids stranded on an island which is also SOMEHOW A NUCLEAR POWER PLANT.