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  1.  
    When running a search for Maradonia on Amazon, you'll get 3 search results:
    - Maradonia and the Seven Bridges
    - Maradonia and the Gold of Ophir
    and finally
    - Antigua: The Land of Faeries, Wizards and Heroes.

    what?

    http://www.amazon.com/ANTIGUA-Land-Fairies-Wizards-Heroes/dp/1434314006/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1306153734&sr=8-3

    Being the curious guy I am, I took a peek at it. And the 1-star reviews. One of the comments compares the author's writing to Gloria Tesch, which I guess is how it ended up related to Maradonia in the search results.

    Some highlights:
    - It's self-published.
    - It's claimed target audience is 8-10 year old girls, but the cover art (which is crap) suggests an adolescent to teenage male audience.
    - There is an exclamation point at the end of every other sentance.
    - It has 300+ pages and no chapter breaks. And, as far as I know, very little (or none) in terms of spacing paragraphs at the end of scenes. Yep. You're expected to trudge through it all in one sitting.
    - One of the characters is named Charlie the Octopus.
    - Many of the reviews say it is inappropriate reading for children. Not because of content (which is okay, i think, but extremely nonsensical), but because the writing style and mechanical errors are so bad and it would teach them it's okay to write like this.
    - It has a shill 4-star review. Most likely from the author herself.

    This thing is begging to be sporked!
    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeMay 23rd 2011
     

    I almost want to spork it. Almost. But then I looked at the “Look Inside!” thinger, and saw that there are only five paragraph breaks in the first six pages. Uuuuuh.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeMay 23rd 2011 edited
     

    Ohhhh… so tempting!

    Unfortunately, I’m not spending almost 30 bucks on that sort of thing. I just can’t justify giving money to a person like that!

    EDIT: But the more I read, I just… man… I really, really want to spork this thing now. Can’t spend that much on it, though, I just can’t!

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeMay 23rd 2011
     

    But since I have nothing else to do with my summer, I think I might. If no one else does.

  2.  

    Oh, that.

    I’ve seen it before and it looks so painful. If anyone has the courage to spork it, they are very brave indeed.

  3.  

    With the way it is, doesn’t it sort of spork itself?

    I mean, it’s not like it can become any more of a joke, considering…. “The dragon flew! He roared! And then!” ... and so on, so on… I’m betting the author is a ten year-old girl, but I guess not since in that case people would go apeshit over her “talent” and the book would become an instant best-seller…

    ... Yes, Chrissy, I’m looking at you

  4.  

    Oh, man. This girl that I used to hang out with thought that that book was the most hilarious thing ever. No idea why I didn’t mention it here at the time.

    I think that I might actually do something with it, if only so I can have something to contribute to the site.

    •  
      CommentAuthorThea
    • CommentTimeJul 16th 2011
     

    I know I’ve come across this before. If you could get a copy free, but I did the search inside thing and saw the Great Wall of Text and went blind, so.

    On the other hand, there’s another kindle edition for only 9.99, which is slightly less than 12, which is at least better than 30.

    There’s something shameful about books like that, isn’t there? Especially, I imagine, for those who can self-publish competently.

  5.  

    One of the characters is named Charlie the Octopus.

    I’m reading it.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJul 19th 2011
     

    I’ve heard of it. Interestingly, I don’t think this is the only thing named “Antigua”, I’ve definitely heard that word before.

    google search

    forehead-smash

    Duh. Antigua (And Barbuda) is an island in the Caribbean, not too distant from Puerto Rico.

  6.  

    it’s a real place? I am so there :)

  7.  

    And don’t smash your forehead. We don’t want to mess up that pretty face for the Collector, do we?

    grins evilly

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJul 19th 2011
     

    ... I do not get the ‘collector’ reference.However, I cannot help but sigh at the use of a real-world name for a fantasy land. It’s be like if CS Lewis had decided to call Narnia “Liberia” instead. It’s just… wrong. If you’re going to use the name of a real country, set yourt story in that country instead of using the name for your made-up fantasy country. Otherwise it just gets confusing.

    •  
      CommentAuthorThea
    • CommentTimeJul 19th 2011
     

    There’s also Antigua Guatemala and a municipality in Spain.

    Only because I have the Chrome dictionary app. Taku, I completely agree. The only ones who could do it were the Victorians and that was not a Good Thing.

  8.  

    the Victorians

    Yeah, they only get to do it by virtue of antiguity.

    See what I did there? Huh? Huh?

  9.  

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeAug 12th 2011
     

    DO IT.

    It’s so alluringly horrific.

  10.  

    Dan, you’d deserve a medal for reading that.

    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeAug 12th 2011
     

    looks at pictures

    OH GOD, MY EYES!! IT BURNNNNSSSS!

    Seriously, do it. I’ll send you virtual booze.

  11.  

    Virtual booze: the best kind. You can drown your sorrows and you don’t have to drive home afterwards.

  12.  

    Cannot believe I just wrote that.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeSep 2nd 2011
     

    Haha, it was funny, though.