There’s a little crack in the wall that I didn’t notice before. Has it always been there? … No, I don’t think so. I would have seen such a mark in the otherwise pristine surface. It’s on the same wall the sink is on.

I pick up the cube and creep over to the wall. The crack looks sort of like the library door, but in the wrong place and opened only slightly.

Inside the crack I see a gray stairwell. I can only poke my hand through…with some squirming I’m able to get my arm through, but the space between the door and the wall is so tiny, I can’t squeeze all of me through to get to the stairs. That’s my way out…how can I get it to open farther?


The door tries to close with a whirring groan. I tug my arm free and jam the Rubik’s cube in the gap—the door strains against it, but the cube holds fast.

— — —

Chapter 9: Strangers in Carvahall

Kitty: Oh, that doesn’t sound ominous at all.
: “Well Dad, it’s time for me to go make something of myself.”
: “Okay, okay, I’ll stop resisting. Also here are some words of wisdom that sound deep but should just be common sense.”
: “Thanks Dad!” “Okay Eragon let’s head out.”

: “Howdy, mister miller-man. Are you here to take Roran away?”
: “Yes, he’s going to help me out with—”
: “…Let’s get outta here, apprentice.”
: “Whoo, milling will be fun!”

: “Hey, Eragon.”
: “‘Sup Horst.”
: [furtively] “Uhh, you still got that ock-ray? ‘Cause there were a couple uspicious-say ypes-tay down here recently looking for someone with a lue-bay ock-ray, and you should probably ide-hay it. You atch-cay my rift-day?”
: “Huh?”
: “…Just lie low for a few weeks.”
: “Gotcha, Horst. Eragon out.”

: [sneak sneak]
: “It was Eragon. He has herpes.”
: [look in his direction]
: [suddenly dizzy] “Whorrrgh…”
: “Eragon! Hey! Go home, stupid!”
: “Huh…? Oh, right…gotta get home…”
: “Also you have a silver mark on your palm. What’s up with that?”
: “None of your beeswax, old man, piss off!”

— — —

When I return from the library, the cube is still looking at me plaintively from between the door and the wall. The door has long since given up the struggle, but I don’t want to risk removing the cube, just in case the door shuts and I’m trapped here forever…

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  1. SlyShy on 1 March 2009, 00:53 said:

    The Pig Latin, ahaha. Interestingly, it's less ridiculous of a language than the Ancient Language.

  2. CometStorm on 1 March 2009, 03:01 said:

    “Gotcha, Horst. Eragon out.”

    Ahahaha. He’s trying to be cool like a fighter-jet pilot.

    “It was Eragon. He has herpes.”
    “Also you have a silver mark on your palm. What’s up with that?”

    Duh! It’s the herpes flaring up!

  3. Ari on 1 March 2009, 06:08 said:

    “Whoo, milling will be fun!”

    Poor Roran. He has the disadvantage of Paolini writing his character…I would have liked him otherwise. But yay for milling!

  4. Rand on 1 March 2009, 13:13 said:

    Good luck with that cube but I hope you don’t get out before you finish the reading test.

  5. OverlordDan on 1 March 2009, 13:57 said:

    “Kitty: Oh, that doesn’t sound ominous at all.”

    Your making me re-live the books! ಥ_ಥ

    But in a good way. Keep it up, and thank you so much for posting these!

  6. Snow White Queen on 1 March 2009, 17:19 said:

    Yay! More reading tests!

    No ‘fense, Kitty, but I hope you don’t get out of that room anytime soon.

  7. SlyShy on 1 March 2009, 17:57 said:

    Err, I hope you escape, Kitty. _

  8. Kitty on 1 March 2009, 18:01 said:

    Thank you, Sly. You get a cookie.

  9. Lucywannabe on 1 March 2009, 18:40 said:

    Hahaha…lovely. Have some cookies!

  10. Jeni on 1 March 2009, 21:26 said:

    That Rubik cube will never be finished.

    Uh, I mean, great new funnies, Kitty.

  11. Puppet on 2 March 2009, 21:06 said:

    Kitty, I presume there’s a computer in your room? BTW, nice work with the faces, and lol win.

  12. Kevin on 7 March 2009, 12:02 said:

    I try to never say lol, but I actually just loled. Magnificent, Kitty.

  13. Tiff on 13 February 2012, 09:57 said:

    Why don’t you do anymore of these? I love them!