I woke up to the sound of breathing. All over the white room—I can’t avoid it. Even when I sit down here next to the shower stall, I can hear the breathing.

— — —

Chapter 7: A Name of Power

: “Hey, Eragon, me and Katrina—”
: “No one cares, Roran.” [runs off]
: “BUT I’M GETTING MARRIED!”
: “I SAID NO ONE CARES, RORAN!”

: “Hey dragon!”
: “Eragon!”
: “Why don’t you say something else?”
: “Fine.”
: “Dammit, I’m so angry right now! Roran’s such a douche! How dare he get married without my permission!”
: “…Mmkay.”
: “So, I guess I need to name you. That would probably be best.”
: “Um, yeah.”
: “How about Billy? No, Bob. Eh, that reminds me too much of Roran’s old roommate…uhhhh…how about Harry?”
: “Are you retarded?”
: “No, but…”
: “But what?”
: “Oh you’re probably a girl dragon, huh? Ahaha, okay.”
: “Can I get a new rider?”
: “Shut up, Saphira.”

— — —

Stop breathing on me. I’m trying to sleep. You’re not funny, voice—you’re just trying to make me believe I’m hearing things.

— — —

Chapter 8: A Miller-To-Be

: “Dad I wanna marry Katrina and go become a miller!”
: “No one cares, Roran.”

: [as real and complex as any person]
‘s personality: [eclectic and at times completely alien]
& : [understand each other on a profound level]
‘s actions and thoughts: [constantly reveal new aspects of her character]

: “Hey look, an eagle!”
: [catches it; releases it] “No hunter of the sky should end his days as prey. Better to die on the wing than pinned to the ground.”
: “Whatever, go get us some pheasants.”

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Comment

  1. trexmaster on 1 February 2009, 17:43 said:

    I had no idea what the heck this is supposed to be.

  2. Kitty on 1 February 2009, 17:47 said:

    Read the other ones…

  3. Addie on 1 February 2009, 17:51 said:

    In stitches here.

  4. SlyShy on 1 February 2009, 18:33 said:

    No one cares, Roran.

  5. MegaB on 1 February 2009, 20:29 said:

    “How about Billy? No, Bob. Eh, that reminds me too much of Roran’s old roommate…uhhhh…how about Harry?”

    I really thought you were going to make a HP reference here… DANGIT!

    Another pretty funny one! Do keep it up Kitty!

  6. Eili on 1 February 2009, 21:08 said:

    Dead on. I love these! :)
    Kitty, would you consider a polygamist marriage with my husband and me?

  7. SubStandardDeviation on 1 February 2009, 22:33 said:

    Psyphira: “No hunter of the sky should end his days as prey. Better to die on the wing than pinned to the ground.”
    Eragon: “Whatever, go get us some pheasants.”

    ZOMG. Win. Though knowing dragons, she’d probably prefer some peasants.

    I wonder what the breathing references?

  8. Apep on 1 February 2009, 22:47 said:

    I’m curious about that myself.

    My theory: reading Eragon is slowly driving our protagonist/narrator/whatever insane.

    Also: “Are you retarted?”
    BEST LINE EVER.

  9. Cory on 1 February 2009, 23:40 said:

    This was hilarious. “No one cares Roran!”

  10. Virgil on 1 February 2009, 23:44 said:

    No one cares, Roran!

    Haha..

  11. falconempress on 2 February 2009, 01:38 said:

    priceless as always. The pheasants line made me giggle like a little girl. Which happened…never. thanks:)

  12. OverlordDan on 2 February 2009, 07:54 said:

    Am I the only one confused by the last three posts?

    Also, Awesome Job! I’ve been checking every day for a new one of these :)