(So you don’t have to wonder anymore, yes, I based the story surrounding the mocking on Portal. And middle school…because Portal and middle school were both unnerving. I guess people seem to like this a little so I’ll continue.)

Day four. I dreamt of solving the cube puzzle last night, but I wasn’t in the white room. I was in some sort of blurry place with vibrant colors and sounds…could that have been where I come from? My memories are still unclear, as if my brain’s full of fog, but the colors and the sounds were so familiar to me. Hopefully I’ll be able to dream about that place again again.

There’s another long day ahead of me…I bend down to pick up the cube from my floor and give it another try, but I’m interrupted by the voice. “It is time to continue your test. Please proceed to the library.”

The thought of taking the cube with me into the library crosses my mind, but I’m never in there long enough to have idle time to solve it. Inside the library, I look up at the ceiling, but there is no evidence that there was ever a metal arm.

— — —

Chapter 3: Dragon Tales

: It’s a good day to harvest, isn’t it, cousin?
: Yes it is, cousin! Let’s finish it in one paragraph so it’ll be less boring.


: Oh snap, there’s snow and terrible weather, I hope the traders can make it!
: Otherwise we’ll probably starve this winter. Someone needs to hurry up and invent refrigerators.
: [runs out to check the road]THEY’RE HERE

Even later…

: “Say, trader-man, can you tell us the value of this shiny rock?”
: “Tell us, for we need money.”
: “Oh, I don’t know. Let me try to smash it and see what’s inside. Just like a geode, only worth fifty million crowns!”
: [WHAM WHAM WHAM] “Looks like I can’t break it and I can’t calculate its value. Now go away, I’m busy counting money.”

Even more later…

: “Political exposition.”
: “Oh, politics.”
: “Yes indeed, but politics is politics.”
: “It’s very political.”
: “Quite.”

And even more later…

: “I am a mysterious storyteller.”
: “Tell us a story, Brom!”
: “Once upon a time, Galbatorix was not so crazy. He was a Dragon Rider! Then he went mad and killed everyone. Then he kicked a guy. And that’s how he became king of the empire.”

— — —

I’m about to put in the bookmark, but before I leave, I’ll test something.

I turn the page as if about to read ahead.

Sure enough, something knocks me off the chair with a quick hit to my ribs, and I look up in time to see the claws vanish into the ceiling.

So I’m not insane after all.

“Please refrain from reading ahead.”


“Thank you. Tomorrow you will return to read chapter 4.”

I leave the library and make a beeline for the Rubik’s cube and the sanctity of my cot.

Tagged as:


  1. Addie on 12 January 2009, 03:38 said:

    “I am a mysterious storyteller!”

    Pure win. ;)

  2. LucyWannabe on 12 January 2009, 10:41 said:

    Hehehe. I love the “political exposition” part. :P

  3. Kevin on 12 January 2009, 11:52 said:

    Aaaand those of us working on a political story quiver in our boots.

    Still awesome though.

    And I can cook. Just, y’know… keepin’ that in mind, and so forth. Ahem.

  4. Spanman on 12 January 2009, 17:56 said:

    “Once upon a time, Galbatorix was not so crazy. He was a Dragon Rider! Then he went mad and killed everyone. Then he kicked a guy. And that’s how he became king of the empire.”

    Lurve. XD Here, have some chocolate!

  5. OverlordDan on 12 January 2009, 18:08 said:

    More books need to be broken into this format. Also, you win. For Forevers.

  6. Virgil on 12 January 2009, 18:28 said:

    The smilies are the bestest.

  7. MegaB on 13 January 2009, 08:37 said:

    I just noticed how it now says ‘ImpishIdea and Kitty, all rights reserved’.

    Now I know why…

    Kitty, I was thinking of something really hilarious for Brom’s training of Eragon. If you need ideas feel free to PM me!

  8. SlyShy on 13 January 2009, 12:24 said:

    On the articles it’ll say “ImpishIdea and <author>”. This has been the case for a while, because proper copyright allocation is important.

  9. MegaB on 13 January 2009, 15:44 said:

    Haha! Yeah, I get that. I was talking more along the lines of the symbolism with regard to reading this series of parodies!