Arya broadcasts a mind-message to Eragon from inside the urgal dungeon.

Line courtesy Star Wars (durr) and art style courtesy MSPaint Lolz.

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  1. SlyShy on 5 October 2008, 23:59 said:

    Remember, you are still vegan if you wear leather!

  2. Kristopher Paoalilinei on 6 October 2008, 00:07 said:

    There need to be tears caused by urgal-rape! Lots of urgal rape-tears. And also practically useless spikes on what parts of her are covered. The she-warrior just has to scream S&M.

  3. DrAlligator on 6 October 2008, 15:47 said:

    Tears? Nonono. Just one, just a single tear. Kristopher, you ought to know better!

    Fridge Logic moment (fuck you, TV Tropes):

    Arya has been dragging the Saphira’s egg back and forth between the Varden and Ellesmera for like, 20 years or something. Her route, we find out through Eldest, borders along that one big desert. That’s a pretty hot climate. Having lived in a desert country for 7 years, I can tell you that the lowest the temperature ever gets is about 18C (64F). And that’s in the middle of winter. And in the summer, it can get up to 50C (122F)…

    And she went through this heat wearing leather

  4. DrAlligator on 6 October 2008, 15:49 said:

    Grammar fail.

  5. SlyShy on 6 October 2008, 15:50 said:

    Well, you can’t expect Paolini to know these things. He’s never been to college, much less out of his house often. I wonder if he has ever done foreign tours of his book.

    He says everything is based on Palancar Valley, but clearly it couldn’t all be, because there is a huge desert, and ridiculous forest.

  6. Virgil on 6 October 2008, 15:51 said:

    And mountains ‘ten miles high’ … come on, mountains don’t get that high, Mt. Everest is 3-4 miles at most.

  7. Spanman on 6 October 2008, 15:52 said:

    But it’s a bikini. Surely that makes it alright.

  8. Virgil on 6 October 2008, 15:53 said:

    Nah-uh… tan lines.

  9. SlyShy on 6 October 2008, 16:15 said:

    I’m pretty sure Helgrind itself rivals Everest in height. No wonder falling down it with Sloan hurt so bad. Geeze.

  10. Virgil on 6 October 2008, 16:34 said:

    I doubt something like that could physically be possible, stuff like that forms in ranges and cascades. Or maybe Helzvog sneezed when he was making the world, and his finger poked through.

  11. SlyShy on 6 October 2008, 16:39 said:

    Well, that map of Alagaesia is basically Geographic Implausibilities Plaza.

  12. Virgil on 6 October 2008, 16:45 said:

    Yes, but let’s remember, since he drew it when he was 15 it makes everything ok. I doubt he even thought about basic things like fault lines and tectonic movement, or gravity and climate. Ho no, not for this child prodigy. His world does what he wants so the story moves along the way its supposed to.

  13. Snow White Queen on 6 October 2008, 20:11 said:

    well, in my opinion the whole geography thing shouldn’t be such a big deal. heck, even tolkien’s middle-earth, i think, is not geologically possible.

    however, he made up for it because he wrote a good book. christopher paolini failed in both respects.

    on the subject of your masterpiece…keep it coming, kitty! you make me smile

  14. DrAlligator on 7 October 2008, 03:46 said:

    “Well, you can’t expect Paolini to know these things.”

    But it’s pretty much common knowledge that you don’t wear leather in hot weather (and if you’ve never worn leather, you probably have experience with leather car seats, or a watch with a leather strap). It’s not comfy, you sweat a lot…

    For that matter… ah, that’s a rant for a whole other article: Dressing for the Desert

    (Hint: going through it in the nude isn’t smart)

  15. SlyShy on 7 October 2008, 11:12 said:

    I agree that it’s pretty common knowledge. :P I also think Paolini doesn’t do a lot of research on his subjects.

  16. CWB on 7 October 2008, 12:01 said:

    Can you guys please remember to put umlauts over your “e” in Alagaësia? When you don’t, it leaves the rest of us wondering if you’re talking about some Alagaesia we’ve never heard of, or the one from Inheritance.


    PS – This also doesn’t take into account that I can’t even imagine what sort of horrific tongue and lip contortions I’d have to go through to pronounce “Alagaesia” without an umlaut. It’s just too crazy to think.

  17. SlyShy on 7 October 2008, 12:26 said:

    I’d be happy to. Although I can’t promise I’ll be able to do stuff like gëdwe insignia. At that point I just don’t care enough. But sure, Alagaësia.

  18. SubStandardDeviation on 7 October 2008, 14:00 said:

    pronounce “Alagaesia” without an umlaut

    Alagaësia = Al-ah-ga-eh-sha // Alagaesia = Al-ah-gay-sha*


    No skin off my back, though.

    *This is going by the Old Norse [ae], since we know he loves that language so much. A little Wikipediaing finds other pronunciations.

  19. Virgil on 7 October 2008, 15:09 said:

    Well, good thing we have the eternal knowledge and wisdom of Wikipedia.

  20. CWB on 7 October 2008, 15:19 said:

    Al-ah-gay-sha??? God that just sounds AWFUL!!! No wonder he used the umlaut.

  21. Virgil on 7 October 2008, 15:21 said:

    Probably because he thought it would make him look smarter.. and somehow it did the opposite.

  22. SlyShy on 7 October 2008, 15:42 said:

    Maybe it would have had that effect, if he didn’t use it in every other made up word.

  23. Elizabeth on 8 October 2008, 16:27 said:

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the umlaut used to distinguish a vowel sound? Which is why it makes a difference in Alagaësia? (I pronounce it -ga-eh-see-ah, -sha is just dumb-sounding-ly English).
    So…what are the two vowel sounds in, for example, gëdwey ignasia? Seems to me like he could have put it on the second e and spared himself the extraneous y, but that would probably be too reasonable.

  24. Virgil on 8 October 2008, 16:41 said:

    Elizabeth, you make a valid point. I doubt many of his readers even know what an umlaut is, let alone how to pronounce it.

  25. SubStandardDeviation on 8 October 2008, 20:29 said:

    Oh, it gets better.

    Want to know the “official” pronunciation of Alagaësia, from the author’s website?


    If you go to the website, you can even hear someone (either CP or the audiobook’s narrator, I’m not sure) pronounce his Ancient Language words. Unfortunately, no “brisingr” or “garjzla.”

    Dang, we’re getting sidetracked. SlyShy, get a conlanging article up ASAP.

  26. Snow White Queen on 8 October 2008, 21:13 said:

    i just skip over the confusing words.

    i mean, seriously, he expects me to stumble through a mush of letters that in my (non-dyslexic) eyes looks like ‘sldkfjaslfd’? inheritance wasn’t even worth reading at all, let alone wasting all that time on his convoluted word pronunciations.

  27. Shaleen on 22 February 2009, 16:44 said:

    I laughed at this for about an hour.