Good news everybody! No philosophy today!

No it hasn’t been canceled on account of snow. No, chapter 4 of this book deals with “compassion”. Using older philosophers, the chapter reads as if compassion was like gravity: everyone understands it but nobody can define it. And just like gravity, a lot of terms and arguments are used that are only of interests to specialists in relevant fields. So let’s just skip over all that and pick on Twilight, of which there is more in this chapter than any other so far! 1

Aro, leader of the Volturi, surrounds himself with these extra-powerful vampires, “collecting” them and their abilities.

As if Aro didn’t have enough unsavory jokes made about him…

So maybe it isn’t too farfetched that Carlisle’s super-compassion is what makes it possible for him to do something that no other vampire before him had been able to do.

Other than every main character in Meyer’s series is a freakin’ Sue, how do we know no other vampire tried the “vegan” lifestyle? After all, there is little (if any) history of vampires in the meyer’verse. Since Carlisle’s lifestyle wouldn’t lend itself to much reproduction, how would we know if any other meyerpire had tried? If they were later killed, there would be no record of their radical lifestyle.

Carlisle’s Theory of “Gifts”

Over mushroom ravioli, Edward relates to Bella Carlisle’s theory about vampiric gifts: “[W]e all bring something of our strongest human traits with us into the next life, where they are intensified—like our minds, and our senses.”

This is why I warn people to be wary of explaining mysticism in their works, because often the explanation turns out less satisfying and dumber than a wizard did it Ok, Edward was ‘sensitive’ to other people’s thoughts and he became a mind reader… not too bad. Alice with precognition? Or Jane hurting people with her mind? How do you even demonstrate something close to that in human life?

It’s an interesting theory, but is there any evidence that it’s true? Actually there is. …One of the first things that attracts Edward’s attention to Bella is that he cannot read her thoughts. Later on, in New Moon, she proves resistant to Jane’s pain whammy. Bella wonders if this just makes her a freak. It turns out that it does, but in a cool way.

Of course it does! She’s a Mary Sue! Again I start thinking about what could have been with this book series. Imagine if Bella was an evolution in response to meyerpires’ existence, the human species gaining methods to fight back against vampires, starting with their immense gifts. Or what if her null field was a double edged sword? Not only could she not be read, but Edward couldn’t read anyone she touched, or anybody if she touched him? Sure he’s probably be grateful for the peace and quiet, but what happens if they are attacked because he couldn’t “hear” the attacker coming?

Bella is a very private, shy person who hides her thoughts and feelings.

Or, is that all you needed to block out Edward? Be very private? This is another fault I frequently find in some of these works: something is shown as rare when it should be, if not common, at least not unheard of. Example: Harry Potter. (Spoiler) Harry is described as a boy who has achieved something nobody else ever has: survived a killing curse. We eventually learn that this was because of his mother’s sacrifice. Ok, nothing wrong with that… until you realize that we’re expected to believe that in the history of the killing curse, there has never been another mother/father/parent/whoever intent on protecting someone else even to the point of death. (END spoilers) In the century Edward’s “lived” he’s never run across anyone that was very private? That’s a bigger suspension of disbelief than vampires sparkling in the sun!

We clearly see Bella’s willingness to do anything she can to protect others at the end of Twilight, when she goes on a suicide mission in order to save Renee. She knows that trying to save Renee will probably get her killed, but she doesn’t let that deter her from walking right into James’s trap. If there is anything Bella can do to protect those she cares about, she will do it.

Yeah, same goes for Captain Kirk, what made him the Avatar of Awesome was that he used all of his wit and resources. Bella would probably be a bit more liked if she showed at least some intelligence and effort at foiling James’s trap before she sprang it.

Carlisle’s Super-Compassion

As a vampire doctor caring for humans, he’s [Carlisle] is like an alcoholic working as a bartender. It’s dangerous, but he’s really good at it, complete with an excellent bedside manner that puts patients at ease.

Which is why I’ve always said the books would have been much better had they been about him. Or at least funnier. “Scalpel” “Doctor? Why are you sucking the end of it?” “Hey, who’s in charge of this surgery?” Or in the past, he’d recommend 2 minutes of himself instead of leeches… Really the humor and drama right themselves.

In Midnight Sun, we get a possible glimpse into Carlisle’s head through Edward’s “gift.” 3

Oh goody! Footnote! Let’s flip to the back and…

Midnight Sun (partial draft) is the name of a manuscript that Stephenie Meyer began that explored the events of the original Twilight novel from the perspective of Edward (which included a number of scenes with the Cullens not found in the original novel). Unfortunately, some lowlife took an unfinished draft and posted it illegally (without the author’s permission) on the Internet. As a result, Meyer has abandoned work on the novel that would have been Midnight Sun due to this violation of her trust and rights. And so, we may never see things from Edward’s perspective. Meyer, after announcing her decision, made a partial draft of the manuscript available on her Web site (link). In referencing this work we acknowledge Meyer’s own statement that this was always a work in progress that she has been forced to make public by someone else’s inexcusable behavior. So, while this cannot be considered the official version of events, we take this draft in the spirit that Meyer offered it to her fans, as stated on her Web site: “I hope this fragment gives you further insight into Edward’s head and adds new dimension to the Twilight story.”

Ok, get the jokes about “greatest hero of all time stopping a great evil” out of the way…
Now then, this is an incident I am torn on. As an amateur author, I can understand Meyer’s annoyance. I have a WiP I have recruited a few editors to help me with and I would be very upset if one of them leaked any part of it after they promised not to. On the other hand, right now nobody would give a damn about any leaked manuscript from me, so you’d think Meyer could take some comfort that enough people care about her work to do something ethically questionable. (Minions are an important part of being an evil overlord after all.) On the other hand, whoever did the “inexcusable behavior” gave Meyer lots of free advertisement. Especially as a Mormon, I would think she knows the lesson about turning adversity into advantage (aka “Making lemonade from lemons”). Anyway, leaks and spoilers are a topic for the forums…

The Denali clan, who are also vegetarians, keep themselves largely removed from human affairs. Their decision not to feed on humans seems driven more by rational calculation than by the affection for humanity that Carlisle displays.

Wow, can we learn more about them? Seriously, what’s their thought process for “rationally calculating” not to feed on humans? They already seem the smartest meyerpires I’ve heard of (don’t be around humans and you won’t eat them). Just imagine if the story had been about one of the “vampire monks” who was dragged back to be among humans in order to do… something.

For a decade or so he [Edward] feeds on the blood of evil men, until he comes to the conclusion that Carlisle is right.

Really? Why couldn’t we hear about that Edward? And why is Carlisle right in this instance? Seems like eating bad people (and with his mind reading, Edward would always know, 100%, who was evil – he would never eat an innocent) would be pretty decent of vampires. I could see some arguments against it from a very… speciesist point of view, but not from the vampire’s point of view.

As far as we know, Carlisle has never drunk human blood. When he became a vampire, he was so distraught that he tried to kill himself a number of ways, including starvation, until he discovered he could survive on animal blood.

Hey, why didn’t starvation kill him? What happened when he starved? And congrats Bella, nice of you to take away Carlisle’s one uniqueness! Of course perfect little you also didn’t crave blood, argh – hatred… rising…

Is Compassion a Feeling?

This section is just a discussion on whether compassion can be defined as feeling or not. I mean, if you want to go into this, just read some Jesus, Buddha, Jonny Cash, or many, many others. I’m moving on to…

Compassion of a Saint?

Hey, some mention of Buddhism and the Dalai Lama. Yeah yeah, see above (both of these sections are really short).

Compassion, Caring, and the Cullen Family

His [Carlisle] mother died during his birth, and his father was an Anglican pastor more concerned with stamping out witchery and demons than with being a good dad.

Meanwhile, the kid down the street who did have a “good dad” was eaten by vampires at the age of 7.

More talk about how bad the Church was around that period of time (by Xenu I’m so tired of that cliché – remember, the actual facts and details of that era were as complicated as any other involving messy, imperfect humans).

So when Carlisle awoke to find himself one of his father’s reviled monsters, he was pretty upset.

But he didn’t use this opportunity to go hunt down real monsters, in line with his upbringing and worldview, he just decided to pout and hunt deer. Oh Twilight, you constantly invent new ways to underachieve.

After some more discussion about Carlisle did with his unlife (forget Midnight Sun, why doesn’t Meyer give us his story?), we move on to:

The Power of Connections

At the end of Breaking Dawn Garrett gives a rousing speech:

Garrett? The hero of the greatest video games of all time, the Thief series? _ No. Wish I was playing Thief, I keep having problems with finishing the third one and I heard their making a fourth. My instinct says it will suck but 2 was such an improvement on 1 that maybe 4 will continue to the trend of… oh wait, we’re talking about _Twilight.

I’ll do everyone a favor and not quote the sections reprinted from Breaking Dawn. Let’s just say they are not the inspiring speeches of BraveheartLord of the Rings

Carlisle jokes that Renesmee’s power to project her thoughts into other people’s minds and inspire a desire to protect are a flip of both Bella’s and Edward’s gifts.

There’s a meta joke in there somewhere about the offspring of 2 Mary Sues. Seriously though, how can nobody see the problem with this? Renesmee can make people do what she wants? As a child? She’s going to be worse than spoiled. What’s going to keep her from becoming tyrant over the world?

We are drawn then to the conclusion that Carlisle’s gift is super-compassion, understood as the superhuman ability to form caring relationships with everyone, even strangers, and that is what enables him to live in the world in a way that no other vampire can.

And with that we end another chapter that I… actually liked. The philosophy isn’t too bad and it does cover the second best character from the Twilight saga (the best obviously being Charlie’s mustache). We’re now moving into the “New Moon” section and who knows, maybe this book won’t be that…

Chapter Five: Vampire-Dammerung: What can Twilight tell us about God?

1. And considering that all I know about the series comes from the movies, cultural osmosis and this site, I mishaps should be quite entertaining to those more knowledgeable.

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Comment

  1. dragonarya on 25 April 2010, 11:42 said:

    Ok, get the jokes about “greatest hero of all time stopping a great evil” out of the way…

    Indeed. Whoever did it has saved us.

  2. ZeeZee on 25 April 2010, 16:33 said:

    Renesmee can make people do what she wants? As a child? She’s going to be worse than spoiled. What’s going to keep her from becoming tyrant over the world?

    Hmm… That might make an interesting story. The evil child who brainwashes everyone she comes in contact with eventually ends up taking over the world.

    Imagine if Bella was an evolution in response to meyerpires’ existence, the human species gaining methods to fight back against vampires, starting with their immense gifts.

    I’m surprised no one’s tried to round up the talented humans to wipe out the vampires.

  3. Diamonte on 25 April 2010, 18:19 said:

    Harry is described as a boy who has achieved something nobody else ever has: survived a killing curse. We eventually learn that this was because of his mother’s sacrifice. Ok, nothing wrong with that… until you realize that we’re expected to believe that in the history of the killing curse, there has never been another mother/father/parent/whoever intent on protecting someone else even to the point of death.

    The Harry Potter thing worked because Voldemort gave Lily a choice. Had she chosen to stand aside, she would have been spared. James could not have been the sacrifice because he rushed into the fight against Voldemort, and Voldemort would have killed him either way. With Lily, he would have been willing to spare her [because of Snape’s begging], but she chose to sacrifice herself for her son.

    I agree, if it had been simplified as much as you said, this wouldn’t hold up – but considering the circumstances surrounding Lily and Harry, my suspension of disbelief can hold on that point.

    Excellent spork though, once again.

  4. Nate Winchester on 25 April 2010, 20:06 said:

    Hmm… That might make an interesting story. The evil child who brainwashes everyone she comes in contact with eventually ends up taking over the world.

    Actually Angel (the TV show) did it. ;-)

    I agree, if it had been simplified as much as you said, this wouldn’t hold up – but considering the circumstances surrounding Lily and Harry, my suspension of disbelief can hold on that point.

    Oh don’t get me wrong, I love HP and I did like the way there was an explanation and all. While I had forgotten the choice detail – and while I’ll admit that might occur less rarely – I still say it should have happened at least once before.

    But HP is awesome and I do wish I was reading it instead. XD

  5. Steph (what is left) on 26 April 2010, 01:25 said:

    All I have to say was that this was funny, interesting, and that if somebody ever writes a Fix Fic incorporating every single thing that according to you should have been in Twilight, we would have the single awesomest work of vampire fiction ever invented.

  6. Danielle on 26 April 2010, 14:57 said:

    For a decade or so he [Edward] feeds on the blood of evil men.

    Dude! That would’ve been the best vampire story ever! It would’ve had room for drama, action, philosophy, maybe a touch of romance….In short, everything Twilight claims to have but only has because its fans think it’s there! Twilight has so many Missed Moments of Awesome that it’s pretty depressing, actually.

    Chapter Five: Vampire-Dammerung: What can Twilight tell us about God?

    NOTHING! IT CAN TELL YOU NOTHING!!!! THAT’S WHAT US CHRISTIANS HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL ALL OF YOU STAR-STRUCK TWELVE-YEAR-OLD GIRLS!!!! TWILIGHT ISN’T CHRISTIAN AND IF YOU BASE YOUR DOCTRINE OFF OF IT YOU WILL EITHER BE HEADED FOR HELL OR VERY, VERY CONFUSED!!!!

    Ahem.

  7. LucyWannabe on 26 April 2010, 21:01 said:

    Imagine if Bella was an evolution in response to meyerpires’ existence, the human species gaining methods to fight back against vampires, starting with their immense gifts.

    See, this would be an interesting take on the very old and used quite often vampire genre.

    I’m surprised no one’s tried to round up the talented humans to wipe out the vampires.

    Now I’m imagining some Terminator-like story, only instead of machines we’ve got humans vs. vampires.

  8. NeuroticPlatypus on 28 April 2010, 21:55 said:

    Alice with precognition?

    Maybe she was really good at picking lottery numbers.

    Or Jane hurting people with her mind?

    That actually can be equated to reality. She could’ve been a sadistic little psychopath who liked hurting people/animals, or had a lot of thoughts about hurting them.

    @Harry Potter
    That’s true. I never thought about that.

    Hey, why didn’t starvation kill him? What happened when he starved?

    This is something I really do not get. If vampires can only be killed by chopping them up and burning the pieces, then how in the hell can they “starve”? Why do they need to drink blood at all other than it’s a craving. If they can starve, then they can be killed in ways other than what Meyer says. It makes no sense!

    Renesmee can make people do what she wants? As a child?

    If they think bad thoughts about her, she’ll send them all to the cornfield!

  9. fffan on 29 April 2010, 04:32 said:

    Yeah Renesmee the off spring of a Gary-Stu and a Mary-stu. She was some sort of a Carrie-Lou or something. Whenever she touched someone, they were instantly in love with her and would die for her. SERIOUSLY. At first I thought it was her vampire powers, but it turns out it was her Carrie-Lou powers.

  10. falconempress on 29 April 2010, 10:41 said:

    Super – compassion has got to be the lamest. power. EVER. Damn, Carlisle makes Ma-Ti look respectable in comparison.

  11. lilyWhite on 11 November 2012, 22:47 said:

    “Imagine if Bella was an evolution in response to meyerpires’ existence, the human species gaining methods to fight back against vampires”

    So she’d be Aya Bella?

    A “Twilight meets Parasite Eve” thing probably wouldn’t be too bad. Especially if it involves all of the Cullens spontaneously combusting.