SlyShy and I have gone through the newly released bonus chapter of Eragon. For reference, the bonus chapter can be found here.

Enjoy

“He never escaped it”

LS- Umm… Yeah he did… Since this is never mentioned again I assume it stopped. Unless Eragon is actually clinically insane and decides it isn’t worth telling anybody that some imaginary entity is following him.
SS- Deciding that would probably make him not insane.

“You can’t stay here forever. Eventually you will have to face us. And then you will die.”

LS- Oh no, he did it again. Apparently CP refuse to believe that his readers are competent at all, because he didn’t think words like “dark phantasm” or “malevolent” would clue us in to the fact that this thing is evil, so he felt he needed to add in a way overly dramatic phrase like: “And then you will die” so we could figure it out.
SS- I have more faith in his readers. Good for me.

“He was miserable, yet slept on, too weary to wake. The bed shook as he tossed violently, twisting the blanket into knots.”

SS- I’m pretty sure he wasn’t that weary, considering the way he is tossing violently. As, unless your bed is made of cardboard and lint, it’s pretty hard to shake. Then again, even pissing yourself is dangerous to that kind of bed. I understand that blankets to knots is an expression of speech, but I think it is a pretty retarded one. I hope he is twisting a noose around his neck, so when he wakes up Gertrude can summarily hang him.

“I wasn’t going to wake you, but the wind caught the door and tore it right out of my hand.”

SS- There are three possibilities here: 1) Alagaesia is located in the center of New Orleans and is about to get utterly destroyed by hurricane Gustav, 2) Gertrude is about as strong as a malnourished five year old who is also drowning, or 3) her entire house is made of cardboard, and Eragon really shouldn’t be taking advantage of the unemployed.
LS- In the case of number three, Eragon wetting himself would be a lot worse than we originally thought.

“do you want to eat?” “Very much so!” he said, nodding emphatically.”

LS- This is not how real people act.
SS- Unless you are being offered sex baked goods, in which case you always act like that.

“He hasn’t gotten any worse.” But that means he hasn’t gotten any better.”

LS- Captain obvious always has to have the last word.
SS- Actually, that isn’t a logical conclusion at all. If I say my ego hasn’t gotten any larger, nobody would conclude it wasn’t gotten any smaller. (It’s actually gotten larger)

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Comment

  1. Ophelia on 12 September 2008, 06:31 said:

    You and Sly “have went?”

    Dude. Not on.

    Correct usage is “have wented.”

    Psh.

  2. Dia on 9 December 2008, 00:32 said:

    Hilarious. I’m late on this, but I have to say that this comment is a hilarious innuendo.

    “Well, it gave me something to do with my hands. Patients can be boring when they only snore.”

    … only a high-schooler like me would laugh at that.