Hi there. We don’t like the Twilight series, and we have a lot of articles that will tell you why we this is so, but you don’t have to think we’re correct. You’re entitled to your opinion just like everyone else. I think we write the articles to sway middle-of-the-road readers into joining the Dark Side and/or because it’s funny in our sick little minds.

The problem we have with Twilight fans is the way they behave with people who have dissenting opinion. I noticed a lot of fan response to the anti-fandom involves CAPSLOCK OF RAGE or trying to ward them away somehow. It’s kind of scary. This is why Sly, in his unending wisdom [cough], is trying to get discussion between fans and antis going. If you haven’t already noticed, the new forums do not require you to register for anything—this is to encourage lurkers and fans to post.

Maybe about a month ago I went to a forum called Twilighters Anonymous to ask what they found appealing about the series. This was not me trolling or trying to flamebait anybody, I am actually legitimately curious—the series appeals to a lot of teenage girls but manages to totally repulse me. Asking a Twilight forum why they liked the books seemed like the right course of action. I found that my thread was rather quickly deleted. What’s up with that? I’d like to discuss the merits—or lack thereof—of the series, but it seems I’m not allowed at that particular forum. I would try at another one but I’m trying not to cut myself over this tragedy.

Okay, that’s not totally the reason. The other reason we don’t like Twilight fans much is because the bizarre fangirl lust they have for Edward is, quite frankly, extremely creepy. Being a fan of a fictional character is fine, obsessing over a fictional character is just unsettling…

Additionally, we really are fans of the books, just a different kind of fan. If we mock something, it means we really like it, but not in the same way as a regular fan. We like it for being so stupid it deserves mocking. Twilight is so melodramatic and silly, how could we not mock it?

But I’m getting off track. The gist of what I’m saying is that Twilight fans really creep us out and the fandom really, really doesn’t like having other discussing. We like other discussion if it’s not rife with caps and a billion exclamation points and personal attacks and assuming we have no lives outside of the internet.

Look :

Its ok, you’re allowed to have your own opinion. A lot of people on this board didn’t even like it either, they just come here to hang out. I personally loved the movie, nott he best I’ve ever seen of course, but I really enjoyed it and that’s simply my opinion. Everone is entitled to their own. Don’t worry about it! =)

This is the kind of fan that is really cool. This is the kind of fan we like talking to. They’re the kind of fan who unfortunately has rarely, if ever, posted here. We’ll try to be more like this fan in our srs business discourse if the rest of the fandom gives us this same courtesy.

If you guys can let us talk about the series without it turning into a flamewar or talking to us as if we’re Satan’s concubines, we promise to stop being such elitist bitches.


P.S. We know where you live.


  1. Ari on 28 March 2009, 13:49 said:

    You know where I live? Crap, I better go take down all those posters of God-Edward in my room. I like to pretend he’s watching me as I sleep too!!11

    Hahaha. I really wish fans were a bit more mature, though. It annoys me to no end. I’d probably like the books a lot more if the fans were nicer.

  2. Puppet on 28 March 2009, 13:52 said:

    Nice article, Kitty. I don’t have any authority here but I think we should all stop insulting Eragon and Twilight and just point out the flaws, otherwise all of the fans are just like: “u r just jelous” “u guys r all abot critisms” “u r just a bunch of trols”
    So please don’t insult.

  3. Diamonte on 28 March 2009, 17:52 said:

    Yeah, the fans are violent and militant. I am scared of most of them. >.<

    Here’s my latest experience with the fan-tards:

    diamonte: Hey guys. I’m looking for some twilight fans who are actually willing to debate Twilight.
    Random Twi-Tard : Good bye.
    diamonte: I mean the merits of it, Stephanie Meyer’s writing ability, etc.
    Random Twi-Tard : …
    diamonte: I’m honestly want an open discussion of Twilight. Is that too much to ask?
    Random Twi-Tard : Yes.

  4. uhhh on 28 March 2009, 18:25 said:

    How is not wanting to discuss something violent and militant? People do it to me all the time.

    Like if you are talking to some cute girl she’ll suddenly get up and say,
    “Excuse me, I have to go now and rob a bank/walk my pet/go meet up with my friends.” Didn’t you just say you had no pets and all your friends are busy today?

  5. Diamonte on 28 March 2009, 18:42 said:

    I should clarify that, thanks. Of course simply not wanting to discuss something is not violent and militant. However, there are alot of Twilight fans who I have talked to, and simply suggested the idea that I do not like Twilight. They will then proceed to jump down my throat about it. On Twilight Sucks forums, you can find a pretty long list of experiences that others have had with Twilight fans. There’s no proof that they’re true, however, there have been bricks thrown at heads, attempted throat slitting, etc. It’s quite long.

  6. Puppet on 28 March 2009, 19:20 said:

    Actually if you read more of the thread about the person who had her arm broken, she posted a picture of herself with her unique red cast.
    It still might not be true but I wouldn’t go through all of that trouble.

  7. Jerk on 28 March 2009, 19:35 said:

    I just think that on an insanity possibility scale people who post on the internet are at least 8.

  8. Juniper on 28 March 2009, 21:25 said:

    Great article, Kitty. Most of the Twilight fans I know are just so ecstatic and irepressible in their adoration that I don’t ever get around to bashing it to their faces. When I am brave enough to speak out against it I get blank stares and changes of subject.

    Okay, let’s not discuss themes of sexism and bad characterization. Let’s just overlook it like it’s 1795.

  9. Jerk on 28 March 2009, 23:16 said:

    I try talking with religious people about sexism in their holy books but it ends up with me getting blank stares too.

  10. Kitty on 29 March 2009, 02:14 said:

    Dude, no. No religion or politics on this site. We have enough drama as it is.

  11. Jerk on 29 March 2009, 02:19 said:

    Okay, I retract my statement.

    Every time I try to argue with people about why their favorite show/celebrity/color is shitty they tend to give me blank looks.

  12. Stranger than death on 29 March 2009, 07:59 said:

    My conversation with a Twilight fan:

    ME: So why do you love Edward so much?

    FANGIRL: Because he’s like just is a dream guy and does everything right!

    ME: But you do know, he’s just a character. You don’t have to go to the point where you spend all your spare time writing fan-fiction sex scenes and about him and his twin brother

    FANGIRL: Well I mostly just do it cause everyone else does

    ME: Shit, there’s more?!!?

    FANGIRL: Be carefull before I bite you with my fangs!

    ME: Okaaaaaaaaay…….

    Most of these ‘fans’ I’ve spoke to are just plane weird and prepubescent.

  13. OverlordDan on 29 March 2009, 15:54 said:

    Once again, I show up late to the party, and everything I could contribute has been said. Tried to talk about the series with my aunt and little sister whilst visiting family, and they just won’t hear it.

    Also, “Satan’s Concubines” would be an awesome band name.

  14. Rand on 29 March 2009, 20:34 said:

    Well, to be honest, there is a lot of “No matter what you say, I’ll still believe what I believed before you said what you said” ness on either side of the spectrum, so I don’t think either side is getting anywhere.

  15. swenson on 30 March 2009, 13:51 said:

    People on this site don’t seem to be like this, but don’t forget that it’s not just fans that tend to be rabid… I’m not even a fan, but yet I’ve still had anti-Twihards screaming in my face (figuratively speaking; this was online) about how awful it is and how I’m the spawn of Satan for even wanting to consider it fairly. So both sides need to work on it a bit.

    Although, granted, Twihards are a bit more common than Anti-Twihards.

  16. Kitty on 30 March 2009, 15:01 said:

    They need to work on not being rabid more. Seriously. Maybe like 4% of antis are insane, and 90% of fans are insane.

    Also that statistic was made up.

  17. wut on 30 March 2009, 15:04 said:

    par⋅ti⋅san [pahr-tuh-zuhn, -suhn; Brit. pahr-tuh-zan] Show IPA Pronunciation
    1. an adherent or supporter of a person, group, party, or cause, esp. a person who shows a biased, emotional allegiance.

  18. Frederick on 30 March 2009, 17:08 said:

    Agreed :D

  19. Kitty on 30 March 2009, 22:45 said:


    Also that statistic was made up.

  20. Jerk on 31 March 2009, 08:55 said:

    You’re both partisans though. I think that’s what he meant.

  21. Sing on 3 April 2009, 09:33 said:

    haha yes. I was looking at some sites, to figure out the people on the other side of the road, and I found some threads with links to Anti-shurtugal and the question “What do you think?”

    They all blew it off on bullshit and went on there own little rampage.

    Not exactly a welcoming atmosphere to discuss in. I’ve actually thought about joining the forums, if fans are willing to do discussion.

  22. Kayla on 8 April 2009, 12:35 said:

    Hey Kitty, I think that you are hilarious, and i understand your pleasure in mocking twilight.Im a twilight fan and mock it sometimes(mainly the sparkling.i mean, vampires just don’t sparkle!), but no i don’t have fantasies about edward,jacob or any of the other main dude characters,heh.

    Anyways most twilight fans are idiotic,obssesive, and insane rabid people.I know many who are and it gets out of control sometimes when you bash a character and they go all rogue ninja on you and yea. But i give props to you guys for having the guts to say what you want.

    Kitty i especially love in the letter where you put “High school is like four years of being molested with a cactus by the government” that was hysterical and true.
    Well Im rambling now so adios.

  23. Juniper on 8 April 2009, 12:58 said:

    Kayla= proof that there are sane people who like Twilight and can spell and use correct grammar. Yay!

  24. Snow White Queen on 8 April 2009, 13:58 said:

    Hey, Kayla, you are a rare breed of Twilight fan.

    I hope you come back to II- I’m sure I wouldn’t be the only one interested in discussing the books with you.

  25. Kayla on 8 April 2009, 14:58 said:

    Heh,Thanks.I’ve read the first three books but i haven’t finished the forth.I couldn’t.Sure there were many funny remarks but the whole Chews-Suspected-Evil-Spawn-From-Wife is just out there and disgusting.And its confusing at the same time. I think SM started smoking something because this is just Wow!

    Don’t get me wrong, i’m still a fan of her writting but not in Breaking Dawn.Breaking Dawn was seriously rushed , probably because they wanted it to hit stores before Twilight came out to the movies.

  26. Snow White Queen on 8 April 2009, 19:19 said:

    I read the Wikipedia summary of Breaking Dawn and stayed far away.


    I didn’t consider that they might have wanted BD out before the Twilight movie though…

  27. John Smith on 8 July 2009, 20:03 said:

    Lol you like Twilight

  28. Aldrea945 on 19 November 2009, 22:17 said:

    I’ve gotten the Twitard “IN YOUR FACE! KISS EDWARD’S HOT A** CAUSE HE’S AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEE YOU SEXIST!” I know what you mean. My phrase for it, “Twilight is the how-to book for stalkers. Beware.” Though, I avoid the subject altogether if possible with everyone but Tera.

    The short, still don’t get what’s so great about it.

    Edward: Where’s Bella?

    Me: I shot her.

    Edward: You little- I shoot him in the head and push him off a cliff.

    Me: You were saying?

    Bella: Where’s Edward?

    Me: Drowning in the air.

    Bella: Oh MY GOD!!!!!!!!! EDWARD!!!!! Jumps after him.

    Me: Stares blankly. That was entertaining.